I need a copywriting expert to critique my sales copy. Sales page is converting @ 3%...

[Ken Er]

Check out my sales copy here. It has been changed.

http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...iews-here.html

[AlexR]

Ken, I think you gave away too much in the sales copy. Makes it very easy to reverse engineer. Took me two seconds to find the "secret" site.

Your sales copy should be a teaser to get people interested in your WSO, it's not supposed to give the general process in the copy.

The good reviews only increase the possibility of someone doing exactly what I did.

I haven't done a word by word review of your sales copy and the only thing I can really say is that you didn't know when to stop writing...thereby shooting yourself in the foot.

You need to consider your market. There are newbs and there are newbs. some will not be computer lietrate and need the WSO. Others who are computer literate can do exactly what I did, bypassing your WSO offer.

They may not get the full story, but they have a starting point which will generate some cash.

Alex

[Bruce NewMedia]

Admittedly I just skimmed it, but this did jump out at me:

"..My system works NOW. I'm still using it as a side line for petty cash, but unfortunately, it relies on third party sites that provide the cash and they could cancel the program at any time...."

If this is true, it doesn't sound like a very stable way to even earn small amounts.
Could this be causing readers to abandon the idea, right here?
_____
Bruce

[Ross Bowring]

No "Please"...?

--- Ross