The Headline Challenge

robs132 · 04-03-2011, 12:25 PM

Released as a WSO so line 1 will be looking to get the click and line 2 will be first line they see once in WSO:

Headline 1:

Google Sniper? Smash Them! 10x quicker and easier than a “Sniper site”.

Smash those stupid sniper sites out of the water!

VS.

Headline 2:

Complete newbie goes from $0 to to $118.18 a day in under 30 days. You’ll laugh….

… when you see how stupidly simple this is.

travlinguy · 04-03-2011, 12:40 PM

Dude, the second one is a no-brainer in these parts. And I know you already know this but, run with the concept you're going for in the first in the body of your copy. Good luck.

robs132 · 04-03-2011, 12:58 PM

Cool, so what you're saying is run with headline 2 but go with the concept from headline 1?

Thanks,

travlinguy

travlinguy · 04-03-2011, 01:08 PM

What I'm saying is the second headline will work all day long here. What newbie wouldn't want to rise up from no dough to a buck eighteen a day? The second headline speaks more to the mechanics of your program, so it would make sense to use that in your copy.

Is it the best hook you have? I have no idea because I don't know anything about your stuff, only you do. But with the choices you presented, it's by far the weaker headline in my opinion. I'd hope you have more than the idea in number one to run with to develop your pitch. So use it as part of your compelling appeal along with all the other cool, and interesting, features and benefits of your product. Good luck again.

hellingent · 04-04-2011, 11:52 PM

No Brainer - Headline 2

To Your Success,

Dmaind · 04-05-2011, 12:48 AM

I like headline 1 but it will represent very narrow market. Imagine, what if some one comes to your website who is not aware of Google Sniper Product? He will leave.... and you don't want this to happen for sure.

Second one is good but the USP is missing.

How about...

"Complete Newbie Goes From $0 to to $118.18 A day In Under 30 Days Without Quitting His Day JOB!"

D Maind

Michael Newman · 04-05-2011, 03:44 AM

The first headline is a bit vague, and it does not clearly convey the benefit for the buyer. It's not lucid and direct enough.

The second one clearly communicates the benefit. It may lead the reader into the body of the copy.

The Niche Man · 04-05-2011, 06:30 PM

I like the second headline. Why? Because it tells more of a story than the first. You want to know more about the newbies story, his or her background and how they did it. It has more feeling in it than the first headline.

If you can "legitimately" put a person in the headline that always makes it more interesting to me.

The Niche Man · 04-05-2011, 06:45 PM

I like the second headline. Why? Because it tells more of a story than the first. You want to know more about the newbies story, his or her background and how they did it. It has more feeling in it than the first headline.

If you can "legitimately" put a person in the headline that always makes it more interesting to me.

GlobalMedia · 04-06-2011, 12:41 AM

Being a newbie, I get more fascinated towards the second option. It is simple and emphatic. One feel the impulse to use it once he reads the headline.

writeandreview · 04-06-2011, 01:23 PM

I'm drawn to two too.

Plus, I don't get the logic behind "smashing" something out of the water. Maybe I'd like it better if you changed it to something like:

"Grab George Brown and his Sniper site disciples by their throats and hold them under water like sad little drowning kittens."

Ha. Ha. :P

View Poll Results: Which Headline Will Get Higher CTR?
Headline 1	0	0%
Headline 2	12	100.00%
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll

04-03-2011, 12:25 PM	#1
robs132 HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 398 Thanks: 54 Thanked 236 Times in 52 Posts Social Networking	The Headline Challenge Released as a WSO so line 1 will be looking to get the click and line 2 will be first line they see once in WSO: Headline 1: Google Sniper? Smash Them! 10x quicker and easier than a “Sniper site”. Smash those stupid sniper sites out of the water! VS. Headline 2: Complete newbie goes from $0 to to $118.18 a day in under 30 days. You’ll laugh…. … when you see how stupidly simple this is.
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04-03-2011, 12:40 PM	#2
travlinguy Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Northern Hemisphere, for now. Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 1,315 Thanked 1,634 Times in 955 Posts Contact Info	Re: The Headline Challenge Dude, the second one is a no-brainer in these parts. And I know you already know this but, run with the concept you're going for in the first in the body of your copy. Good luck.
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04-03-2011, 12:58 PM	#3
robs132 HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 398 Thanks: 54 Thanked 236 Times in 52 Posts Social Networking	Re: The Headline Challenge Cool, so what you're saying is run with headline 2 but go with the concept from headline 1? Thanks, travlinguy
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04-03-2011, 01:08 PM	#4
travlinguy Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Northern Hemisphere, for now. Posts: 2,937 Thanks: 1,315 Thanked 1,634 Times in 955 Posts Contact Info	Re: The Headline Challenge What I'm saying is the second headline will work all day long here. What newbie wouldn't want to rise up from no dough to a buck eighteen a day? The second headline speaks more to the mechanics of your program, so it would make sense to use that in your copy. Is it the best hook you have? I have no idea because I don't know anything about your stuff, only you do. But with the choices you presented, it's by far the weaker headline in my opinion. I'd hope you have more than the idea in number one to run with to develop your pitch. So use it as part of your compelling appeal along with all the other cool, and interesting, features and benefits of your product. Good luck again.
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04-04-2011, 11:52 PM	#5
hellingent Active Warrior Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Olathe, KS Posts: 51 Thanks: 3 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts Social Networking	Re: The Headline Challenge No Brainer - Headline 2 To Your Success,
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04-05-2011, 12:48 AM	#6
Dmaind Seo & IM Consultant War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 142 Thanks: 53 Thanked 33 Times in 23 Posts Social Networking	Re: The Headline Challenge I like headline 1 but it will represent very narrow market. Imagine, what if some one comes to your website who is not aware of Google Sniper Product? He will leave.... and you don't want this to happen for sure. Second one is good but the USP is missing. How about... "Complete Newbie Goes From $0 to to $118.18 A day In Under 30 Days Without Quitting His Day JOB!" D Maind
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04-05-2011, 03:44 AM	#7
Michael Newman HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Camelot Posts: 315 Thanks: 627 Thanked 57 Times in 47 Posts Contact Info	Re: The Headline Challenge The first headline is a bit vague, and it does not clearly convey the benefit for the buyer. It's not lucid and direct enough. The second one clearly communicates the benefit. It may lead the reader into the body of the copy.

04-05-2011, 06:30 PM	#8
The Niche Man Niche Hunting Warrior Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Beach, California Posts: 1,190 Thanks: 184 Thanked 230 Times in 151 Posts	Re: The Headline Challenge I like the second headline. Why? Because it tells more of a story than the first. You want to know more about the newbies story, his or her background and how they did it. It has more feeling in it than the first headline. If you can "legitimately" put a person in the headline that always makes it more interesting to me.
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04-05-2011, 06:45 PM	#9
The Niche Man Niche Hunting Warrior Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Beach, California Posts: 1,190 Thanks: 184 Thanked 230 Times in 151 Posts	Re: The Headline Challenge I like the second headline. Why? Because it tells more of a story than the first. You want to know more about the newbies story, his or her background and how they did it. It has more feeling in it than the first headline. If you can "legitimately" put a person in the headline that always makes it more interesting to me.
	How To ... Create, Find or Improve Money-Making ‘‘Niche Products and Services’’ -- Faster! <=

04-06-2011, 12:41 AM	#10
GlobalMedia HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Around the Globe Posts: 256 Thanks: 5 Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts Contact Info	Re: The Headline Challenge Being a newbie, I get more fascinated towards the second option. It is simple and emphatic. One feel the impulse to use it once he reads the headline.

04-06-2011, 01:23 PM	#11
writeandreview Active Warrior Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 99 Thanks: 40 Thanked 32 Times in 22 Posts Contact Info	Re: The Headline Challenge I'm drawn to two too. Plus, I don't get the logic behind "smashing" something out of the water. Maybe I'd like it better if you changed it to something like: "Grab George Brown and his Sniper site disciples by their throats and hold them under water like sad little drowning kittens." Ha. Ha. :P
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