Headlines for Self Defence Classes

[tylerdrun]

Hey guys,

Can you help me create a few headlines in the martial arts classes market? It's not a dvd program. But rather classes.

I've come up with a few headlines but I'm still suck. Here is what I came up with:

1. Here Is How Two Hours of Scintillating MMA Can Transform Your Life And Your Perceptions About Fighting Forever...

2. Discover The Sure Fire Ways To Beat The Crap Out Of Anyone In A Street Fight?

I've got more ideas. But I don't know which to prioritize in the headline.

The customers are in the 20-40 range, employed with a good salary, get pushed around at work(verbally) and sometimes physically, they don't have a social life, get drunk weekly and are becoming fatter day by day.

They are constantly stressed with having to sit for eight hours a day on the computer, they feel they aren't attractive enough/not strong enough.

They all have one desire: To be more Alpha... Alpha male.

What the classes offer:
1. Fast Weight loss
2. Training in self defence and different martial art disciplines
3. Toning their body in ways the gym wouldn't.

What do you think should I focus on the headline?

weight loss or self defence moves or fitness.

Thanks

[Paul Hooper-Kelly]

Hi Tylerdrun,

You've already made an excellent start by defining precisely who your target market is - particularly the perception: "They all have one desire: To be more Alpha... Alpha male."

For that reason your headline # 2 is starting to hit the spot, because it tells the prospect what the service will DO for them (implying they will be more Alpha male). So work on creating about twenty or more headlines in a similar vein. And then put them away and look at them again the following day. Your subconscious will have been churning them over and you'll see which ones are no good and which can be improved even more. Then sleep on them again and finalize them when you are happy you can't improve them any more. Then pick four and split test them.

Right now, you're trying to cover too large a market, so you should create several sales pages and web sites to focus like a laser on each niche. That way, you'll get far better results.

Warmest regards,

Paul

[kmesiab]

Headline 2 is more compelling than headline 1.

Quick, concise headlines w/ straight forward language that draws upon the primary emotion is desired.

ex:

Never be afraid again!
How to NEVER lose a fight.
What If You Could Win Any Fight, No Matter Your Size?

You can also (shamelessly) draw upon current affairs:

Become BULLY Proof
Three Dirt Simple Ways To Beat Any Bully
The Secret To Never Being Picked On Again

Weight loss is so prolific in the market, and the desires of its target market are very clear. You're ugly, let 'this' make you beautiful instead modality.

Hope this helped some.

[kmesiab]

Another thought. MMA has hit the main stream hard and is now the number 1 fighting competition in terms of viewership/popularity (not by accident).

This has created a niche of celebrity personalities.

Safe name dropping can be useful in catching the eye of those who are already familiar with MMA.

Fight Like You Were BJ Penn w/ These Dirt Simple Tricks
Finally, The Secrets Of MMA fighting experts revealed.
etc.

[Joe Ditzel]

Dan Lok had a free report called 79 Dragon Slayer headlines. I believe many of those were self defense and martial arts oriented. Might help you. Do a Google filetype: pdf search with that title and it should come up.

[Nick Brighton]

“Break Your Boss In Two Like a Bamboo Stick...And Walk Away With His Hot Girlfriend.”

[LiamElliott]

You said that your main clientèle are men between the ages of about 20-40. You will get some female members, but realistically you're going to have primarily male members. This means that you have to "primarily"(not fully) appeal to their interests, which by the sounds of it are being able to hold their own in a fight. Logically, this would leave number 2 a more viable option to target your prospects. You should also develop and plan a second marketing strategy towards the women(why miss out on business) appealing to their goals. Why not develop a second program geared towards women? The more macho ones may still opt into the men's program. You could even merge the classes together some nights to keep the interest and add to the social atmosphere. You should really get the opinions of your customers and compile them into facts that you can use, anything else is really just speculation.

You should also offer seminars with Royler Gracie and David Adiv that you can charge your members to go to. If you get enough connections you can even get mma celebrities like Lyoto Machida to visit your school.

Bottom line, the only people that know what your customers want are your customers. Don't be afraid to ask.

Good luck.

[travlinguy]

Originally Posted by tylerdrun

The customers are in the 20-40 range, employed with a good salary, get pushed around at work(verbally) and sometimes physically, they don't have a social life, get drunk weekly and are becoming fatter day by day.

They are constantly stressed with having to sit for eight hours a day on the computer, they feel they aren't attractive enough/not strong enough.

They all have one desire: To be more Alpha... Alpha male.

Man, these guys don't need Karate, they need euthanasia or maybe slap therapy. I'm wondering how it is you know so much specific and personal stuff about these people. No matter.

Take a look at Nick's headline above. It is by far, the best answer to a headline request I've ever seen here. Good luck and give my best to the zombie gang. I'm pulling for them.

[tylerdrun]

@Liam:
I have a separate salespage for women. The women and men learn together. However, the majority is men. So I'm working on a salespage for men first and then women later.

@Nick:
Excellent one. I'll create something like that.

@travilingguy:
I know so much about the niche because I put time to study it. I am following Dan Kennedy's Ultimate Sales Letter. He mentioned to get into the customer.

So I decided to analyze all the students attending the classes, spoke to the instructor about the guys who attend the classes. He told me their professions, their income levels(appx), etc.

And then I looked at the parallel niches like Bodybuilding, Weightloss and the attracting women(since they are Men).

A pattern emerged. They weren't able to stand up for themselves. They had low self-esteem. So I looked at a few guys who fit the category within my family(cousins) and friends.

From there, I created a few customer avatars.

@ Joe: just got my hands on the book. Thanks.

@ Kmesiab: I'm not sure if most guys who will be reading this will be aware of it. However, celebrity titles are something that's GOT to be used.

I think it will work for women as many women celebritites in india are more into martial arts. And thanks for your ideas.

The bully proof is something I must stick with and split test.

@ Paul: Excellent thought about the subconscious. Day by day as I thought about the market and analyzed it, I seemed to understand it better. Ideas come to me when I'm doing something else. I tend to forget them. Gotta note them down.

I will try to create 20 or so headlines and find one that works for me.

Thanks for all the input guys. I appreciate it.

[Nick Brighton]

You're welcome Tyler.

Hope it goes well for you. Keep us updated on how the copy converts with these suggestions. I recommend you split test these different headlines first, before you get in to the other stuff.

[Big Al]

I'm a professional martial arts instructor and we've found that aggressive adverts dont always work.

We used to have pictures of people using techniques etc etc... but believe that when people who want to learn self-defence see these images they associate with being a victim and that doesn't feel good.

They imagine that they're the ones getting hit or beaten and not the ones coming out the victor.

Plus for a class you want people to join for ever... and unless your classes consistently life up to your headline the people you attract may not stay.

In addition the biggest market for martial arts classes is the people who want to feel more confident and/or getting fit.

Check out people like Marcos Avellan (Google Florida Martial Arts) or Lloyd Irvin (Google him) and you'll find two MMA millionaires with good schools you can learn from.

Al

[jasondinner]

If You Have Just 2 Hours A Week, Then You Can Finally Stop Being That Pathetic, Fat, Wimpy, Pushover Loser Everyone Makes Fun Of


PS - Just shooting from the hip while my kids run around in chaotic fashion :P

[daveshu]

All I can think of is the old music lessons ad "they laughed when I sat at the piano....but when I started to play!"

So how about:

"They laughed when I stood up to the neighborhood bully....but when I knocked him cold!"

Just replacing the "neighborhood bully" with appropriate problem person, and "knocked him cold" with appropriate "kicked his ass" type message.

Then you're in simpatico with them - being laughed at, being bullied, etc, and you can relate how you, too had this problem and overcame it.

the old ones are the best ones

[tylerdrun]

@ Big Al:

Thanks for your input. I googled both the instructors. Both of them seem to have a very good marketing strategy in place. I am looking into their pages and will definitely devise a marketing strategy similar to that.

We are the best self defence/ MMA school in the city. However, we still are growing and not equipped like you guys.

Feel more confident and getting fit. That's what I was thinking but had trouble coming up with a headline. But your recommendations have opened me to new ideas. Thanks.


@ Jason and daveshu:

Nice title. I will try to incorporate something like that and will try to split test(if there's enough traffic).

Thanks guys.

[dorothydot]

Un-Wimp Yourself - It's Easy!

How To Maximize Your Manliness and Ditch Wimpiness

Why You Never Need To Bow and Scrape To Anyone, Ever Again

No More Cowering In the Shadows - Now They'll Hide From You

[GlobalMedia]

My headline will be:
Didn't you want to be a hero? Didn't you want to inculcate the self confidence in you? Rise up with ur frustrated life and check out what v have for u.

[colinjoss]

Look for the hook... then you'll have your headline.

Who teaches the class? A skinny white guy?

Your headline might be "Skinny White Guy Reveals MMA Secrets To Beat Down And Humiliate Anyone Who Gets In Your Way!"

Headlines are a breeze if you got a good hook.

Colin

[NoGimmicks]

First off - you've done a great job describing your customer - sure makes things easier once you've done that huh?!

Secondly, I see a lot of people suggesting headlines that revolve around fighting, beating people up etc - I can see why that would be as it is a self defence class, but...

According to your description of a typical customer, they:

get pushed around at work(verbally) and sometimes physically, they don't have a social life, get drunk weekly and are becoming fatter day by day.

They are constantly stressed with having to sit for eight hours a day on the computer, they feel they aren't attractive enough/not strong enough.

They all have one desire: To be more Alpha... Alpha male.

If that's the case then doesn't it sound that their real driver is self esteem and lack of confidence etc rather than a desire to be able to knock someone out?

I'm no copywriter but wouldn't something along the lines of:

"No Man Should Live In Fear - Give Me 5 Days And I'll Give You The Confidence To Walk Tall"

As I say, I'm no copywriter but the fighting headlines don't seem to gel with your avatar in my opinion

Cheers
Martin

[John Breese]

You should get on Matt Furey's mailing list.

[BartsTreasures]

A headline should convey your TOP feature WITH associted benefit and whenever possible appeal on an emotional level. You make a good start with these...

1. Fast Weight loss
2. Training in self defence and different martial art disciplines
3. Toning their body in ways the gym wouldn't

These are "features"... What we need to do is convert each feature into an "emotional benefit"

1. Fast Weight loss = With Our UNIQUE "Fast Track" Martial Arts Classes, Your Friends & Family Will Envy Your Great looks, Increased Energy, and Healthier Appearance!"

2. Training in self defence and different martial art disciplines = An ENRAGED Individual SUDDENLY Confronts You & Your Family Giving You NO OPTION But To Fight -Would YOU Be Able To Protect Your Loved Ones? With Our UNIQUE "Multi-Disclipined" fast results Martial Arts Classes, you CAN!

3. Toning their body in ways the gym wouldn't = Seen That "Mucular Guy" That
All The Beautiful Women Seem To Swarm Around? With Our UNIQUE "Fast Results - Confidence Building" Martial Arts Classes, YOU CAN BE THAT GUY!!!

See how all these headlines 1) Convey a strong benefit 2) Make a strong emotional appeal and 3) DIFFERENTIATE your classes from your competitions classes? Ideally, your headline differentiates you enough from your competition that PRICE becomes irrelevent...after all, I'd be willing to pay much more $$$ for classes that are UNIQUE, Multi-disciplined & get fast results! It's all about perception.

Play around with these lines or create more by playing with features and benefits...then TEST one against another to see what gets best results!

Hope this helps.

[Don Halbert]

Originally Posted by Nick Brighton

“Break Your Boss In Two Like a Bamboo Stick...And Walk Away With His Hot Girlfriend.”

Now thats talent. Brilliant! I love this one.

[Rigmonkey]

Don't Want To Join Our Martial Arts Class?

Well, Fung-Ku Too!

[Kane Fidge]

"Turn black eyes into skills and pride!"

[jewel3000]

How about something like:

"Start Manifesting Your Inner Alpha Male In 3 Weeks. This Self-defense Program Turns Meek Men into Dominant HULKS!"
Get the Body and Gain Untold Confidence to Become Fierce at Work & On the Streets

Sounds like a great thing you have going. I used to train karate years ago, so I know the unique level of confidence these kinds of trainings give you.

[ryanmcgee]

Here are a few swiped from Ben Settle:

WARNING: Do Not Read This If You Have Moral, Ethical Or Religious Reasons Against Hurting (Or Even Killing) Someone Who Violently Attacks You, Your Wife Or Your Kids

How To Win Any Fight In 5 Seconds Or Less... With These Little-Known, Brutally Sadistic Moves The "Father" Of Close Combat Taught His Private Students Behind Closed Doors

The Secret Scientific Close Combat Methods Of An Out-Of-Shape, Old-As-Dirt, Raging Alcoholic Who Used To Kill Armed Nazi Storm Troopers With Nothing More Than His Bare Hands

"World’s Most Natural Hand-To-Hand Combat System Lets You Humiliate Younger, Tougher, and More Experienced Fighters Every Time, Regardless of Your Age, Gender, or Physical Ability...Without Even Trying!"

"How To Disarm, Disfigure And Even Violently Dismember Anyone Stupid Enough To Attack You Or Your Family With A Bat, Blade Or Gun!"

How Even Skinny, "Barney Fife" Cops Single-Handedly Control And Dominate Violent Criminals, Gang-Bangers And Other Cold-Blooded Killers... Without Even Drawing Their Guns!

Ancient Fighting Secret Used By Roman Gladiators And Japanese Samurai Lets You Break, Smash And Even KILL Anyone Who Dares Lay A Hand On You

[buyqualityarticles]

Go with #2. To point. concise.

[Jonathan 2.0]

“But, What Will Happen If You Never Learn To Stand Up For Yourself In A Brutal Fight ...?”

[WebRank1]

Originally Posted by tylerdrun

Hey guys,

The customers are in the 20-40 range, employed with a good salary, get pushed around at work(verbally) and sometimes physically, they don't have a social life, get drunk weekly and are becoming fatter day by day.

They are constantly stressed with having to sit for eight hours a day on the computer, they feel they aren't attractive enough/not strong enough.

They all have one desire: To be more Alpha... Alpha male.

What the classes offer:
1. Fast Weight loss
2. Training in self defense and different martial art disciplines
3. Toning their body in ways the gym wouldn't.

The way I see it, the main desire of your prospect is not about learning to fight or to lose weight. It rather is to be their own person. Get respected as a person.
They want to be a Barack Obama, a person that gets respect, a person that walks with his chin up. A person that nobody would even consider bullying. Not because they are afraid of him but because they simply don't want to.

I assume your prospects have no prior knowledge or experience of self defense or martial arts.
I will also assume that there are enough competitors to your product for the prospect to make a choice between.
This means that you want a headline that promises a solution to their desire (one that tells WHAT you do, not HOW you do it) BUT you must outbid the competition. This means that you must go all the way to the line without crossing it. Take it as far as you can.
Take their desire, dramatize that desire to the point that the prospect absolutely wants the solution. Tell him that you've got it.

For example:

• "To men that make the money, but don't get the respect."
• "Only dogs have bosses. Are you a dog or a MAN?"
• "I am my own person, nobody tells me what to do. When I get to the office, my coffee is already sitting on my desk. What about yours?"
• "You are twice the man you think you are. Step in to my gym and I will prove it."
• "To silent men. To men who get pushed. To men that are stuck. One day in my gym changes everything."
• "If you want to push them back. If you want to say something about it. If you want respect. If you are a man.. Step in to my gym and I'll show you how to do it."

Now, I don't really know much about your audience so I am basically guessing here but by what you described in your OP, I would go with that theme.

Regards,
Mark

[Macksheppard]

Never Use These Fighting Skills to Fight, Their Too Dangerous.
Get fit, strong and protect yourself from any threat...easily