infuse my own experience in a copy?

[damjan]

Hey guys. I have a question. I'm writing a sales letter in weight loss niche. I will be offering weight loss supplement with free (workout dvd, nutrition plan, tips). This is how I've lost 35lbs and gained lean muscle. I'm thinking of using myself before and after photos as a proof. Should I in copy tell people about my story or not? If so, where should I put that? Also, I was thinking of letting people know the "truth" that losing weight isn't easy as other people claim to be. They do really need to watch their diet, exercise 5-6 days a week and take supplements to maximize their results. Is this a good idea or not? One last question. Is anyone willing to be my copy writing mentor? Thanks to all in advance.

[OnlineMasterMind]

Originally Posted by damjan

This is how I've lost 35lbs and gained lean muscle. I'm thinking of using myself before and after photos as a proof. Should I in copy tell people about my story or not? If so, where should I put that?

Yes for sure... somewhere towards the beginning and then throughout.

Originally Posted by damjan

H I was thinking of letting people know the "truth" that losing weight isn't easy as other people claim to be. They do really need to watch their diet, exercise 5-6 days a week and take supplements to maximize their results. Is this a good idea or not?

No, absolutely not. People will ALWAYS tell you that they want to hear the "truth". But the data (based on what they respond to) almost always tells a completely different story.

This doesn't mean you should lie - but you should certainly not make a point of highlighting the "truth"

[Stephen Dean]

Originally Posted by damjan

Also, I was thinking of letting people know the "truth" that losing weight isn't easy as other people claim to be. They do really need to watch their diet, exercise 5-6 days a week and take supplements to maximize their results. Is this a good idea or not? One last question. Is anyone willing to be my copy writing mentor? Thanks to all in advance.

Quick and easy is almost a universal appeal. And it works best for weight loss. The majority of your audience is looking for one almost-magic technique for losing weight. And that's why you see a lot of copy framed that way.

But then there are also people wanting to work hard. Think P90X, the intense workout DVDs that have become a hot seller from infomercials.

Their appeal is, "Get Absolutely Ripped In 90 Days." So even that is taking a seemingly long, hard process (getting ripped), and making it quick and easy (just follow the DVDs in your home for 90 days).

That points out that how you frame it matters.

You don't tell the reader, "You're going to have to eat less food." Instead, you concentrate on the delicious healthy food they will be eating.

Call them 5 minute meals, 4 times a day. Call them 8 minutes of exercise, once a day.

Those claims sound reasonable, quick and relatively easy. So instead of bringing them down in the dumps with the "truth," present the truth in a "quick and easy" way.

Cheers,
Stephen Dean

[fasteasysuccess]

If you have a real personal story and have had results, then absolutely share it. Stories definitely sell when done correctly and a good story breaks down the "what is this person trying to sell me wall" easier.

[Loren Woirhaye]

Use "the truth"about losing weight or building lean muscle if you
can find a way to use that cliche as a way to "hook" your
readers into the notion that you've discovered some loophole
that gets around this unkind truth.

Just saying "the truth is weight loss is hard - and if you're such
a wimp you won't work hard to get rock hard abs like mine, go
away now, blah blah" or whatever is not likely to get the result
you want. Such an approach is belligerent and obnoxious. It
may appeal to a small minority but I wouldn't recommend it.

Instead, look for a way to turn the unkind "truth" into the beginning
of your story of discovery of a better way...a way to lose weight
and build lean muscle that doesn't skirt the hard work required,
but does make the process fast, enjoyable, produce rapid and
noticeable results... etc... as your own story of getting a hot date,
winning a competition, getting a promotion at work, improved sex
life, and so on (don't use all those at once now).

I hope that makes sense. The rhetorical devices of copy ("the shocking
truth about x" "breakthrough secret revealed" and so forth) are
often just hype unless you've got a genuine-seeming and emotionally
touching story anchoring the copy. You've got a story and you've
got a market "avatar" (central demographic model of your ideal
customer) and the trick is to tell and embellish the story to hit the
hot buttons in your target audience. Do that, and you're on to
an unstoppable appeal.

[WebRank1]

Although I agree with all the advice given above, I will say one thing.
While you shouldn't bluntly say that getting abs take hard work, you can point out minor flaws in your product to build credibility and believability. Especially if your target audience has already been beat to dead with hyped weightless products. But if you choose to volunteer 'negative' info, you need to give the prospect directly related 'positive' info directly afterwards.

Hope that made sense.

Mark

[Steven Miranda]

I think you should include before after if it is real. This will help a lot in conversions.

[MissLauraCatella]

Absolutely include your own personal story when it's legitimate and relevant. The most important thing you can convey in your copy is EMPATHY, it builds trust and rapport to let your readers know that you REALLY relate to them, that you in fact were them, and now you have a solution that you want to share with them.

[damjan]

One more thing that I'm completely clue less and I know is very important. How do you guys find in depth info about your clients? I see online people talk find your clients needs, income, age group, etc. but I can't find an article that gives you those resources or explains how to get those results so that I can narrow down my sales letter. Thanks in advance.

[WebRank1]

Originally Posted by damjan

One more thing that I'm completely clue less and I know is very important. How do you guys find in depth info about your clients? I see online people talk find your clients needs, income, age group, etc. but I can't find an article that gives you those resources or explains how to get those results so that I can narrow down my sales letter. Thanks in advance.

Well, sign up at Quantcast (I am not sure if that is required anymore, I have an account though). Search Google for the top ranking websites in your niche.
Take those results and run them through Quantcast.
This way you should be getting pretty accurate info on age, gender, household, ethnicity, income, past time activities and other demographics.

Hope this helps.

Regards,
Mark

[damjan]

This is to fasteasysuccess!
I've tried to reply back to your email but I currently can't. Rules on this are not practical. Anyways, what number can I reach you?

[dorothydot]

Hi damjan,
You most certainly should use your story in your copy. But - and this is a big one - do not use first person. Writing in the first person makes your readers assume that it's your client talking, not you. Or you could write like a testimonial-style; then you could use first-person.

You could approach the "losing weight is hard work" concept from like a side door: This weight loss program won't just help you shed pounds - it will help you get an attitude-adjustment. You'll learn how to love your exercise, look forward to cooking yummy diet foods, and feel proud as you buy your new skinny-clothes.

Then go on to promote how exercise helps you feel good, enjoy life and get adventurous. Meeting fun people along the way also helps.

See how I'm doing this? Anyone who needs to lose weight realizes it's far more than just eating rabbit foods. It's adjusting your mindset on several levels. Make this adjusting process sound fun and easy - and you have a home run.

Dot

[Ken_Caudill]

Originally Posted by OnlineMasterMind

No, absolutely not. People will ALWAYS tell you that they want to hear the "truth". But the data (based on what they respond to) almost always tells a completely different story.

What data?

[damjan]

Thanks Dorothy.
This question is for all: Do you maybe think that I should tell my story in a video form that would play on auto once the page is loaded and then underneath it have the sales letter itself?

[damjan]

Another question. Where to you put satisfaction guarantee. Before or after call to action?

[janellelk]

Something buzz worthy to make it go viral?

[ARSuarez]

Originally Posted by damjan

Thanks Dorothy.
This question is for all: Do you maybe think that I should tell my story in a video form that would play on auto once the page is loaded and then underneath it have the sales letter itself?

I've heard variations. Here is the answer: test.

I have a friend who does web design - he says never use auto play. Others say do use autoplay. Test auto vs. non. Test copy under vid vs. no copy under vid. Test vid of you (visibly) in vid with copy underneath vs. vid of you with no copy underneath.

The more you get into this web marketing thing, the more you realize there is really no solid answer. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone has data to support that opinion.

And they have the data because the "truth" changes from market to market.

Test.

Originally Posted by damjan

Another question. Where to you put satisfaction guarantee. Before or after call to action?

I usually put it in at the end of my offer - product (with bonuses), price, method of delivery, guarantee (and then include a call to action with the guarantee).

In general, you want the guarantee to be the heavy wind that pushes them over the edge. You make them lust, and then you show them there's nothing to lose by giving in to the lust.

Gosh. Copy really is seduction.

Cheers,

Angel

[damjan]

Thank you Angel.