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Old 12-19-2008, 09:21 AM   #1
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Default i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

hi guys and girls, i need some critique opinions on that site of mine

Best Ways To Get Pregnant - How To Get Pregnant

thank you for your time

shlomi

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Old 12-19-2008, 09:44 AM   #2
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

OK, for what it's worth:

Personally, I don't care for the pea green - that may just be me.

Also, you may want to have a couple of women (wife, mom, sister, etc) read it and tell you what they think. There were a couple of things that weren't bad, but didn't seem like a woman would write it. For example:

PS. If you still think that you can't create your own miracles, please listen to this. When we began trying to conceive my second child, I had a miscarriage. It was awful! I ached for that baby that I lost and was anxious to start trying to have another. Miscarriages can be so upsetting. But should you start trying to conceive immediately after a miscarriage, or should you wait for a certain amount of time? The answer to that question became vitally important to me after my miscarriage.

The one thing that glared at me in that paragraph was "Miscarriages can be so upsetting." I'm thinking that a woman who had a miscarriage may think of it as more than "upsetting".

Like I said, it's not that it's bad, just may want to have some women take a look.

One final thing (and I know this is nitpicking):

These gifts not just filler

These gifts are not just filler

Like I said, I know it's nitpicking!

Hope this helps.
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Old 12-19-2008, 11:11 AM   #3
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

There is a principle called heuristics which I have
found useful in selling. Basically: the more you tell
the more you sell.

There are many real books on the topic. What makes
yours worth forty dollars? You have to tell that to get
the sales. Better delivered as a recorded product
perhaps -- higher perceived value.

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Old 12-19-2008, 11:29 AM   #4
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

Well, for a non-IM niche this is good. I like it, it is simple but I think it's effective but you need to add the names of the people in your testimonials.

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Old 12-19-2008, 11:50 AM   #5
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

Only one buy now icon would be better. (however text hyperlinks are
good) test not having the price on the page (only at the shopping cart)
and many people still don't know what a pdf is especially if you're target
market is not IM... I'd recommend removing the adobe pdf pic off your
book pic.

Cheers,

Rob

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Old 12-19-2008, 12:07 PM   #6
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

Shalom,

You seem to have the basics in place but you have not followed the tried and tested mini site sales copy formula. Here is a summary of it.

1) Headline - 90% success or failure depends on it.
2) Subheadlines - expand headline(main benefit of product)
3) Body Benefit(s) - salutation/greeting (i.e. Hello/Shalom/Dear ....) short paragraphs 3 to 5 lines building on the main benefit. bullet points useful
4) Reason(s) (to buy)
5) Free bonuses - adds value
6) Guarantee
7) Summary - (press those emotive buttons one more time)
8) Offer/Price
9) Your Name & Photo. Plus postscripts (the second most read part of a sales letter.)

The headline should be the main benefit to the potential customer of having your product. Your current headline doesn't do that. Actually it has humorous double meaning as getting pregnant usually involves sex - so using "HARD, HARDER ... HARDER ... LONGER" is not a good idea. Especially on such an important and emotional subject to your targeted market. Consider changing it so as to emphasize the major/unique benefit that having your product would give an interested buyer.

As this is a very sensitive and delicate subject for those that it affects I recommend that you ask a top gun woman copywriter to take a look at it. Generally men are not as astute or sensitive in subjects of this nature.

Hope this helps you, I wish you good fortune.

L'Hitraot

http://www.23rdwave.com/

"Excellence is not an event it's a habit" - Aristotle 384 BC
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Old 12-25-2008, 08:37 PM   #7
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

Here is what I thought:

1) The header graphic is WAY too big. It's wasting precious "above the fold" space. Also, it's well known among online copywriters that losing the header graphic entirely boosts conversions. You should test it without the header.

2) the headline itself isn't doing anything for me. It has no exciting element to it. If there is a story behind your product, your headline should tell it. If there isn't, it should tell another "story".

"Discover the 7 top secrets about getting pregnant... that even the doctors don't know!" - poorly written, and a bit of an exaggeration, but it's just an example. You get my drift

Don't let the fact that this is a serious matter confuse you, nor ethics misguide you! Your prospect is ALWAYs waiting for something to take them away from their tedious and boring life and state of "quiet desperation" and ruttle them up and excite them. Your job is to do that, and than channel that excitement towards your product. Before You sell the product, you need to sell the experience.
If your prospect wanted a serious advice she'd go to the doctor; she is browsing the net because she is waiting for someone to pop up with a magic bullet that saves the day.

3) You really MUST have a picture of a mother with a cute baby somewhere on the page. A pregnant belly doesn't do anything for a woman wanting to get pregnant. It's the cute baby she is after. That's her passion. That's her sweat spot. Hit it.

4) The copy is WAAAAY too short, and the benefits are generic and unspesific.

5) The entire left navigation bar should go. A SALES LETTER SHOULD NEVER HAVE ANY LINKS IN IT OTHER THAN THE LINK TO THE ORDER FORM. Every piece of communication you have with a customer should be strictly directed to the ONE action you want him\her to take - in this case, buying. Once you got them on your sales page, why would you want to give them a way out? Also, links grab attention.Lose them. If you have articles, put them on a blog parked on that domain. If there is something in those articles that you want them to read, than it's important enough to be on the sales page.

6) same thing goes for those quotes on the righthand and lefthand sides of the copy. Again, they just take the reader's attention off of your main sales massage, the only place you want her focused.

The last thing is the hardest thing to say, so I'll straight out just say it - your copy is just plain boring... and wimpy. You should swipe someone else's copy. I'm not saying this (or anything else) to be harsh. It's just my opinion.

pregnant-get.com - look at this sales page, and ask yourself: "What sales page would end up getting the sale? my sales page, or her's?" After you answer that question with the obvious answer, swipe that person's copy (it's actually very good copy by any standard). Find other competitors in your niche. Swipe them as well.

I hope I was helpful... ve behatslaha

Amir Dash
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Old 12-26-2008, 05:22 PM   #8
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Default Re: i'll appriciate if you can review my site and tell me what you think of it

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnarchyAds View Post
Let's have some cliché baby blue and pastel pink.
Let's have a new header ... that one is too dark & gloomy

Lets have the ovulation predicter link given only to those
who opt-in to your list. Lets have lots of photos of BABIES.

Anyway, th secret of getting pregnant is:

She gets a tattoo on her back ( aka. TRAMP STAMP )
She gets her belly-button pierced.
She wears her thong pulled up over her pants waistband so we all can see
She does lots of cocaine
She goes to a dirty dance bar every Saturday

In 4 weeks, she'll be pregnant.
( Perhaps not by her husband, but beggars can't be choosers )

you made me laugh

lol
that's the way to get pregnant, i agree

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