The "look" of a great sales letter

lburrell · 12-24-2008, 01:32 PM

I have my first WSO coming out in a few days and I really want it to do well. I am offering a great service at a great price and I want people to be able to see the value in what I am offering.

I wrote the sales letter myself, and I personally think it sounds pretty good

I spiced it up a little, but overall it is an honest description of what I do, why I am running the WSO, what I offer to customers, and how to sign up.

As I read through the "forum" version of the letter (bbcode) it doesn't "look" right to me. Something is off. It doesn't feel right. I hope ya'll can understand what I am saying....

Does anyone else experience this? Is there a way to get it to "feel" right?

Martin Luxton · 12-24-2008, 02:56 PM

I spent 5 days working on my sales page in notepad and when I put it up in the Test Forum it looked so weird because it was across the width of the page.

Then when I started adding red, bold and different font sizes it made me look at the sales page in a different way, like my baby had grown up into a stranger.

Yeah, I know. Don't get too attached to your creations, it makes you have weird ideas

Martin

MikeHumphreys · 12-25-2008, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnarchyAds

Simple.

Make a webpage. Spent time making it look correct.

Link to it.

We'd need to go off-site to buy, anyway.

Bingo. Why burn any more time than you need to for setting up forum codes, just so your sales letter looks correct? You're already setting up your website to look great... why do the same basic work twice b/c of same damn forum coding crap?

Keep the forum copy simple and go "pretty" on your website IMHO.

Christie Love · 12-25-2008, 11:03 PM

It took me a while to edit my WSO sales page, but once I got the heck of it, it went much easier.

However, Mike's option is easier especially if you are able to make a website quickly.

lburrell · 12-29-2008, 10:05 AM

Do most ppl that click on a WSO offer want to go to another site and read the "real" sales page? What would the WSO page say?

"Here click on my link to get to my real sales page"

I actually wasn't even thinking of making a site (ya I'm a IM newb). I write professional press releases and submit them to 70+ sites for the customer so I was going to just take them to Paypal and receive payment, email them, and then off I go. I'm not too knowledgeable about websites and sales pages and such, but I want to do this right to get the most sales and help the most ppl with their business, thus building a good rep on the forum.

Agree, Disagee, suggestions?

Thanks for the input guys (and gals)

lburrell · 12-29-2008, 10:19 AM

I don't know if it is kosher here, but here is about 1/3rd of my sales letter for ya'll to get an idea of what I'm talking about (FYI, I really do suck at just about everything):

WELCOME TO THE "I SUCK AT ALMOST EVERYTHING" PRESS RELEASE BLOWOUT!!

That's right. I pretty much such at almost everything:

I suck at HTML
I suck at PHP
I suck at PHP
I suck at JAVA
I suck at Twitter
I suck at Myface

And quite honestly, I probably couldn't get a hot date if my life depended on it!

But there is one thing I am good at: WRITING PRESS RELEASES

My day job is at a renowned PR firm writing press releases for Fortune 500 companies.

I don't like to brag, but I am pretty BADASS at what I do. I get paid (very) well, know alot of Fortune 500 company higher ups, and they LOVE ME!

They love me for all the SEO, $$$$$, and traffic I bring in for them.

I get the word out about their new products, new clothing lines, special sales, new hires, charity works, etc, etc.

So as the economy news starting dominating the headlines, I began to think about my entrepreneurial dreams (the same dreams many Warriors have achieved through this forum) I wondered how I could take control of my own life... you, know if THEY decide to lay me off tomorrow, I'm screwed....

What???

THEY decide.... I don't like the sound of that...

So, here I am taking my first step into a brave new world of self-sufficiency... and I decided to do it here... that's why I am offering this WSO at such a ridiculously low price... so I can prove the value of my services to you. See, if I do that, I know you will want more from me and I'm on my way

...on my way to freedom....

lburrell · 12-31-2008, 01:08 PM

any ideas? i've played around with it a little and think i have a better looking one.

write-stuff · 12-31-2008, 01:23 PM

Well, the "I suck" theme is novel, but I'm not convinced at how effective it would be. Also, the word "blowout" made me immediately think of a fire sale, i.e. getting rid of junk. I know this isn't what you intended, just telling you the first thing that came to my mind when I read it.

Also, I suspect your page may focus too much on you, and not enough on your target customers.

If it was me, I might have tried to come up with some clever little faux News Release. Maybe even a graphic of a the top portion of a page, formatted like a hardcopy press release, with a jagged bottom. Under that, the rest of your WSO.

Just a thought. Good luck with it. - Russ

lburrell · 01-07-2009, 10:37 AM

Excellent idea! Thanks mate!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnarchyAds

OK ...

PREAMBLE

Your widget is press releases.

We don't know how they can help us, because we're all idiots.

So, you must educated us on the benefits of press releases
in order to cause us to buy your widget.

And, everyone loves FREE STUFF.

You must write the ebook mentioned below.
MAXIMUM OF 3 PAGES OR WE'LL GET BORED.
In the last page of ebook, you will pitch your widget and give your
contact info.

WSO TITLE:
FREE EBOOK - How YOU can benefit from PRESS RELEASES - Today!

Don't bother selling a product or service until we know the benefits.
So, explain it ...FREE ... then sell it.

jayden.fellze · 01-07-2009, 12:17 PM

In order to give the right feel to the letter, you should try to give it a more professional look. Also, when you think you are done writing it, keep it aside for few hours and come back and give it a read. But don't read it like a writer. Rather read it like a customer. Does it convince you? If not, then change the part that is unconvincing.

Also I think you should get your website set up because no matter howI know that's not your plan, but let me tell you, you will not regret it. A website will present everything in your sales letter in a much better way.

12-24-2008, 01:32 PM	#1
lburrell The GMAT Coach War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Atlanta Posts: 396 Thanks: 195 Thanked 28 Times in 22 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	The "look" of a great sales letter I have my first WSO coming out in a few days and I really want it to do well. I am offering a great service at a great price and I want people to be able to see the value in what I am offering. I wrote the sales letter myself, and I personally think it sounds pretty good I spiced it up a little, but overall it is an honest description of what I do, why I am running the WSO, what I offer to customers, and how to sign up. As I read through the "forum" version of the letter (bbcode) it doesn't "look" right to me. Something is off. It doesn't feel right. I hope ya'll can understand what I am saying.... Does anyone else experience this? Is there a way to get it to "feel" right?

12-24-2008, 02:56 PM	#2
Martin Luxton Christmas Rocker Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: North Pole Posts: 2,380 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 545 Thanked 696 Times in 372 Posts	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter I spent 5 days working on my sales page in notepad and when I put it up in the Test Forum it looked so weird because it was across the width of the page. Then when I started adding red, bold and different font sizes it made me look at the sales page in a different way, like my baby had grown up into a stranger. Yeah, I know. Don't get too attached to your creations, it makes you have weird ideas Martin
	"Merda taurorum animas conturbit"

12-25-2008, 11:03 PM	#4
Christie Love The Fabulous One War Room Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Texas Posts: 930 Thanks: 11 Thanked 79 Times in 68 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter It took me a while to edit my WSO sales page, but once I got the heck of it, it went much easier. However, Mike's option is easier especially if you are able to make a website quickly.
	***Protect Yourself from Internet ID Theft*** Get your Free Identity Theft Report 'A' rated company with the BBB.

12-29-2008, 10:05 AM	#5
lburrell The GMAT Coach War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Atlanta Posts: 396 Thanks: 195 Thanked 28 Times in 22 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter Do most ppl that click on a WSO offer want to go to another site and read the "real" sales page? What would the WSO page say? "Here click on my link to get to my real sales page" I actually wasn't even thinking of making a site (ya I'm a IM newb). I write professional press releases and submit them to 70+ sites for the customer so I was going to just take them to Paypal and receive payment, email them, and then off I go. I'm not too knowledgeable about websites and sales pages and such, but I want to do this right to get the most sales and help the most ppl with their business, thus building a good rep on the forum. Agree, Disagee, suggestions? Thanks for the input guys (and gals)

12-29-2008, 10:19 AM	#6
lburrell The GMAT Coach War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Atlanta Posts: 396 Thanks: 195 Thanked 28 Times in 22 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter I don't know if it is kosher here, but here is about 1/3rd of my sales letter for ya'll to get an idea of what I'm talking about (FYI, I really do suck at just about everything): WELCOME TO THE "I SUCK AT ALMOST EVERYTHING" PRESS RELEASE BLOWOUT!! That's right. I pretty much such at almost everything: I suck at HTML I suck at PHP I suck at PHP I suck at JAVA I suck at Twitter I suck at Myface And quite honestly, I probably couldn't get a hot date if my life depended on it! But there is one thing I am good at: WRITING PRESS RELEASES *My day job is at a renowned* PR firm writing press releases for Fortune 500 companies. I don't like to brag, but I am pretty BADASS at what I do. I get paid (very) well, know alot of Fortune 500 company higher ups, and they LOVE ME! They love me for all the SEO, $$$$$, and traffic I bring in for them.** I get the word out about their new products, new clothing lines, special sales, new hires, charity works, etc, etc. So as the economy news starting dominating the headlines, I began to think about my entrepreneurial dreams (the same dreams many Warriors have achieved through this forum) I wondered how I could take control of my own life... you, know if THEY decide to lay me off tomorrow, I'm screwed.... What??? THEY decide.... I don't like the sound of that... So, here I am taking my first step into a brave new world of self-sufficiency... and I decided to do it here... that's why I am offering this WSO at such a ridiculously low price... so I can prove the value of my services to you. See, if I do that, I know you will want more from me and I'm on my way ...on my way to freedom....

12-31-2008, 01:08 PM	#7
lburrell The GMAT Coach War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Atlanta Posts: 396 Thanks: 195 Thanked 28 Times in 22 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter any ideas? i've played around with it a little and think i have a better looking one.

12-31-2008, 01:23 PM	#8
write-stuff Eschew Obfuscation War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Atlanta Posts: 623 Thanks: 12 Thanked 48 Times in 40 Posts	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter Well, the "I suck" theme is novel, but I'm not convinced at how effective it would be. Also, the word "blowout" made me immediately think of a fire sale, i.e. getting rid of junk. I know this isn't what you intended, just telling you the first thing that came to my mind when I read it. Also, I suspect your page may focus too much on you, and not enough on your target customers. If it was me, I might have tried to come up with some clever little faux News Release. Maybe even a graphic of a the top portion of a page, formatted like a hardcopy press release, with a jagged bottom. Under that, the rest of your WSO. Just a thought. Good luck with it. - Russ

01-07-2009, 12:17 PM	#10
jayden.fellze It's just me! Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 471 Thanks: 11 Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts	Re: The "look" of a great sales letter In order to give the right feel to the letter, you should try to give it a more professional look. Also, when you think you are done writing it, keep it aside for few hours and come back and give it a read. But don't read it like a writer. Rather read it like a customer. Does it convince you? If not, then change the part that is unconvincing. Also I think you should get your website set up because no matter howI know that's not your plan, but let me tell you, you will not regret it. A website will present everything in your sales letter in a much better way.
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