Advice Please? My first sales page...

[BlakeM]

Hey guys,

Here's my first sales page - lucid-dream-tonight.com

I didn't write the content but I made a new design to sell the product because the original page was this - Inception Lucid Dreaming Hypnosis - which I didn't think would convert highly at all.

All opinions appreciated greatly! Thanks.

[RickDuris]

Originally Posted by BlakeM

Hey guys,

Here's my first sales page - lucid-dream-tonight.com

I didn't write the content but I made a new design to sell the product because the original page was this - Inception Lucid Dreaming Hypnosis - which I didn't think would convert highly at all.

All opinions appreciated greatly! Thanks.

The formatting is off. The copy? Really off. But the basic concept is provocative and edgey.

A small, tight 90-second sample would be wonderful. Think of it as a movie trailer. Let's see the best stuff from it.

Good luck,

- Rick Duris

[BlakeM]

Thanks for the advice!

Like I said, I didn't right the words and it's not my product. I just redesigned it because I'm an affiliate and their design was really bad.

I did how ever did resizing, highlighting, etc. How is the formatting off? And how can I improve?

I like the idea of a free preview. I'll shoot the idea to the creators.

Thanks again!

[inhwanie]

Originally Posted by RickDuris

A small, tight 90-second sample would be wonderful. Think of it as a movie trailer. Let's see the best stuff from it.

I agree about a possible short sample on the page especially when the product itself is a sound file.

Personally, I kind of feel like the page is too short to give a good idea of what the product is and how it can be used. The features are listed in bullet points but theres no build up of any particular one with a specific story to entice the customer.

Adding more relevant graphics maybe? Just ask yourself if you would be interested in buying the product just by simply looking at the page (and not what you know of the product)

[BlakeM]

What about the color scheme guys... Should I change the background color, etc?

I agree the overall design could be better but I thought the formatting of the text and the words themselves were pretty effective.

I may be totally off though. Again, all advice appreciated greatly!

[Dan Axelrod]

Talk more about the experience of the lucid dreaming in the headline, especially for people that are not totally familiar with it.

Example:

"Wake Up" While INSIDE Your Dream Using The "Inception Lucid Dream Program"

By the way, if you get any exposure at all, prepare for a cease and desist letter for blatant copyright infringement.

[BlakeM]

Thanks for your advice. Can I get in trouble even if its not my product? I'm just an affiliate but this is my sales page.

[snovakor]

I think that is this your page on good way, but is to short. For sure. You can put more "red" color in Header. It will be "wow" !

The old page was totally sh....sorry, but it's true. Good luck with your page.

[BlakeM]

I agree with your thoughts on the first page

That's why I felt compelled to make a new one.

Thanks for your advice. I wish I had testimonials to work with but I guess I can talk more about lucid dreaming which really is a fascinating subject I now a ton about.

Thanks again,
Blake

[Bruce NewMedia]

Its hard to comment on this, because there's so little there.

While I like the header a bit (copyright issues aside), the rest doesn't even begin to make the case for the product. Not even sure what the product is, honestly. BUT, the topic is intriguing if you were to find a better way to present it.
_____
Bruce