Thank you for your feedback!

[blindedodin]

My sales page is here: Save Thousands of Marketing Dollars - And Get More Customers Than Ever!!

Before I dump much $ into driving traffic, I was hoping to get some solid feedback from the experts here. (i welcome honest and painful)

I am planning to start with linked in ads, as i have a credit there and can target chiropractors. (I know its expensive)

What would you change about the copy itself, and how would you drive traffic?

Thanks!

James

[MatthewNeer]

You should throw in a sexy graphic of the product in there man. That will seriously help ya out.

You can build your own here: eBook Cover Creator - eCover Design Online Free | MyEcoverMaker.com

BOSS!

[Ashley Pearson]

Sexy covers, yay!

[blindedodin]

Where is an ideal place on the page to place it?

[andrewkar]

Hi

I'm not an expert but I can see a lot of "I" everywhere around.

For example:

"I have invested tens of thousands of dollars to learn what I'm going to teach you in this DVD. I invested months and months and months of my life searching for, testing, and collecting the secrets I'm going to share with you here. Lucky for you, you don't need to wait that long! Now I'm going to be honest"

Isn’t there too much of “I”?

[MRMagMark]

I'd change the subhead "I Know What You Need" to something that is more focused on the reader and uses some type of emotional trigger. Such as "You'll Be Holding The Keys To Incredible Marketing Secrets Only The Pros Know!!" Or something along those lines.

You have some great triggers to work with - frustration and greed. I know I love secrets and when something is positioned in such a way that makes me feel like I'm learning insider tricks, bam! I love it!

As for the graphic, I'd place one below the guarantee and one below the last buy button.

There is a free eCover creator around, not sure what the finished product will look like but you may want to try: http"colon"//3d-pack"dot"com

Whoever created it does have a donate button at the top. You can create eBook covers and also CD and DVD boxes.

ETA: Holy Moly... you've been thanked 4,294,967,295 in 16 posts? Now that's a secret I'd be interesting in learning!

ETA2: I'm still learning my way around this forum. It seems high number is how often YOU thanked people. At any rate, still a "wow!"

[blindedodin]

@MrMagMark - I have no idea how i got all those thanks... think its a bug somewhere...

@everyone - I used the ecover maker Mathew suggested, with some "fancy" text effects by me in photoshop... eBook Cover Creator - eCover Design Online Free | MyEcoverMaker.com

have made a few other small changes as suggested and am advertising on linked in ... will update this thread with progress

thanks for all your help!

[tk226]

Please test the following for correction.

then got more customers than ever...

Order
now to find out....

I think, Hi, is not needed

most people pay a lot for internet marketing

to get people more customers,

and if you wanted to you could spend.

[lometogo]

James,

Found a few typo/grammar errors I'd suggest correcting:

Capitalize "I" in interenet marketing? --- I'd make it lower case
Do nothing 'different'? --- I'd choose differently
Special Bonus #2: --- change 'setup' to set up
Special Bonus #3: --- change 'rocketing' to rocket
PS, maybe add a colon -- also change 'permit me use' to permit me TO use..

Looks good; best of luck!

[Daniel Scott]

If you expect that page to sell a $250 product, you're dreaming.

There's no meat there. It's not well-written. You have no credibility. I don't even really know exactly how your product will help.

You've got maybe 5 pages of copy there. Quadruple that and you might have enough space to say everything that needs to be said.

Finally, $249 for a DVD is ludicrous... especially if you don't have the name and reputation to back it up.

You either need to spend a lot more time studying how to write copy... or hire a professional. Copywriting, like many skills, is NOT easy and is not learned overnight. It takes years.

-Daniel