Help

HassanAjmal · 06-11-2011, 01:05 AM

Hi guys,

I'm working with an offline client who is a dog trainer.
I have created a direct response style front page and need ideas on how to improve it.

http://images.designcrowd.com/image....belCustId=7020

First, does it seem confusing at all?

The call to action bar at the bottom is going to get fixed, but what do you guys think of everything "above the fold"?

THanks!

John_S · 06-13-2011, 07:12 AM

It really depends on where the "fold" is. If the blue box is all you see, then there is nothing which leads one to scroll. The old version -- I did check it out -- hasn't the "one screenitis" designers sometimes get.

Bullet points seem weak. They seem too generic, like they are copy&paste fodder from a swipe file.

Not long ago I read a study that overturns the "You have to be the leader of the pack" thing most trainers teach. This would be interesting, turned into a bullet point, to convince me your client is differentiating from a thundering herd of gurus.

It disheartens me and discourages a sale when I feel, as a lay person, I have more information than you give me. So much for wanting to get that report -- I don't want to.

First rule of FREE: If you can't sell it ...don't bother giving it away.

Cardinal rule is to keep the reader on this kind of page. To that end, why are there the standard tabs found on regular, fragmented, web sites? Services and Case Studies would prove handy right there on the page.

Services and Case Studies are just the sort of thing a likely visitor will head off your order page for. Many will not return. You are forcing the user on a hunt for information, to no end but "all the other web designers do it."

Sections like "We actively work with..." present visual speed bumps. You are borrowing a couple direct response staples, then putting them into a layout where they do not belong. It's as though you are selling Web 2.0 layout templates, not dog training.

Stop showing off your knowledge of Web 2.0 style, and start using the layout to support the content.

Related:

Jewelboxing Does what you're trying to do ...but does it right. Notice there is a navigation, there is an above the fold ...which signals there is a below the fold. Notice there is no fear of copy. That said, there could be subheads and where the opt-in is could be moved to the location where you have yours.

You want to add rounded corners ...go ahead. Heaven knows I don't want a designer to lose their Web 2.0 membership card.

But the point is that layout doesn't Shout "I'm a designer. Forget these guys and hire me to design your next site!" The product is the focus on Jewelboxing, not Creative Suite, Not Web 2.0.

06-11-2011, 01:05 AM	#1
HassanAjmal I Be The Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Queens NYC Posts: 129 Thanks: 13 Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Help - Critique LCP for Dog Training Client Hi guys, I'm working with an offline client who is a dog trainer. I have created a direct response style front page and need ideas on how to improve it. http://images.designcrowd.com/image....belCustId=7020 First, does it seem confusing at all? The call to action bar at the bottom is going to get fixed, but what do you guys think of everything "above the fold"? THanks!

06-13-2011, 07:12 AM	#2
John_S Advanced Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: , , . Posts: 863 Thanks: 25 Thanked 399 Times in 234 Posts	Re: Help - Critique LCP for Dog Training Client It really depends on where the "fold" is. If the blue box is all you see, then there is nothing which leads one to scroll. The old version -- I did check it out -- hasn't the "one screenitis" designers sometimes get. Bullet points seem weak. They seem too generic, like they are copy&paste fodder from a swipe file. Not long ago I read a study that overturns the "You have to be the leader of the pack" thing most trainers teach. This would be interesting, turned into a bullet point, to convince me your client is differentiating from a thundering herd of gurus. It disheartens me and discourages a sale when I feel, as a lay person, I have more information than you give me. So much for wanting to get that report -- I don't want to. First rule of FREE: If you can't sell it ...don't bother giving it away. Cardinal rule is to keep the reader on this kind of page. To that end, why are there the standard tabs found on regular, fragmented, web sites? Services and Case Studies would prove handy right there on the page. Services and Case Studies are just the sort of thing a likely visitor will head off your order page for. Many will not return. You are forcing the user on a hunt for information, to no end but "all the other web designers do it." Sections like "We actively work with..." present visual speed bumps. You are borrowing a couple direct response staples, then putting them into a layout where they do not belong. It's as though you are selling Web 2.0 layout templates, not dog training. Stop showing off your knowledge of Web 2.0 style, and start using the layout to support the content. Related: Jewelboxing Does what you're trying to do ...but does it right. Notice there is a navigation, there is an above the fold ...which signals there is a below the fold. Notice there is no fear of copy. That said, there could be subheads and where the opt-in is could be moved to the location where you have yours. You want to add rounded corners ...go ahead. Heaven knows I don't want a designer to lose their Web 2.0 membership card. But the point is that layout doesn't Shout "I'm a designer. Forget these guys and hire me to design your next site!" The product is the focus on Jewelboxing, not Creative Suite, Not Web 2.0.