IS this a good title for a free report?

[Johnny Danes]

Hi all, JD here,

I am working on my first free report for my Opt-In list. Like a lot of IM products it's for beginners and people that have been trying for a while but have not had success.


Here goes:


"How To Start Your Own Internet Business in 9 hours using the change from the botton of your sofa."

It'll be a Qucik Start report


Any feedback is helpful. I am not a copy guy.



JD

[OnlineMasterMind]

Hey JD,

Being specific is great but I'd be careful as it relates to talking about how much WORK someone has to do. In fact, I'd refrain from even hinting at that in a headline

I think you'd have better luck with something like "How To Turn A Measly $3.73 Into $174/day (This will surprise you...)"

[benbro]

Hey JD. How goes it mate? Looks to me like ur definitely headed in the right direction as far as how you keyed in on something really specific (9 hrs) to make ur point.

Sounds like you just need to hone in on ur unique selling proposition (USP) to give it a bit more oomph. For ex. starting an Internet biz in 9 hrs with change on the couch aint bad at all.

But how'd you like to make ur first 99 bucks online in under 9 hrs using nothing more than 2 dimes and a web connection? You see what I mean. What I like about OMM's title is that there's also a bit of suspense tied up in it too with the this will surprise you piece.

Anyhow, hopin that helps. Take care!

Originally Posted by OnlineMasterMind

"How To Turn A Measly $3.73 Into $174/day (This will surprise you...)"

[Johnny Danes]

Hi, JD here.


Thanks for the replies. I wish I had the gift of copy writing.

Those were great suggestions.

I'll take all into account.

Originally Posted by benbro

Hey JD. How goes it mate? Looks to me like ur definitely headed in the right direction as far as how you keyed in on something really specific (9 hrs) to make ur point.

Sounds like you just need to hone in on ur unique selling proposition (USP) to give it a bit more oomph. For ex. starting an Internet biz in 9 hrs with change on the couch aint bad at all.

But how'd you like to make ur first 99 bucks online in under 9 hrs using nothing more than 2 dimes and a web connection? You see what I mean. What I like about OMM's title is that there's also a bit of suspense tied up in it too with the this will surprise you piece.

Anyhow, hopin that helps. Take care!

[benbro]

No prob, JD. And by the way, copywriting is probably way more of a learned thing than it is a gift. Of course there are those that are just naturally gifted but overall I'd say it just comes with practice.

One of the things that helps me is reading all that I can on the subject. On that note there's a free ebook on copywriting that's fairly in depth. Dont recall the name but its written by a fella named Miguel Alvarez who runs a site called copywriting.com. That helped me but what helps me even more is writing lots and lots of articles and press releases.

Now sales letters are a different story all together. But anyhow glad that helped. Take care!

[Johnny Danes]

Hi Ben,

I am checking out that site now, thanks. Since I'll be writing my own Squeeze Page copy and Solo Ad copy, I may as well learn how to do it. It'll be good for me.


Thanks again

[AdwordsMogul]

Originally Posted by Johnny Danes

Hi, JD here.


Thanks for the replies. I wish I had the gift of copy writing.

Those were great suggestions.

I'll take all into account.

To write copy all you have to do is to learn.

You can start from The Gary Halbert Letter.

Back to your title...

9 hours is a long time in the mind of a beginning internet marketer.

OnlineMasterMind gave you a great tip. You want to go along those lines.

What exactly are you trying to sell?

Simplify things first before writing a headline.

Write down 1-3 sentences that sum up what you're offering. Then you can work on a headline that expresses it in a simple way.

[seobro]

Hi jonny:

It sound unrealistic to the max. Kind of like hype that you see in an infomercial - well, not anymore.

Like it is similar to me saying:

Hey, buddy, I can show you. Yeah, I can show you how to date a cheerleader TODAY right now, before sunrise. Hey, this method works even if you are the school nerd with a face full of acne. It is the dawn of a new day for you.


BTW, my secret method is called winning the LOTTO. Always knew they was a CATCH, didn't you?

[Johnny Danes]

Hi SEOBro,

JD here...

There is nothing unrealistic about STARTING a IM business with spare change in 9 hours. I never said you'd be MAKING MONEY in 9 hours( read the OP again), I said you can START in 9 hours, see the difference?

1 month trail Aweber AR=$1
Hosting= $8/month( possibly cheaper for the first month if you locate a discount code for $1/first month)
Domain=$10( cheaper if you get .org or .info)
WP=Free

Total=$19 or less.

9hours=1.5-2hours a night for 5 nights--
Niche research, setting up AR,blog,squeeze and uploading plugins.

I have over $19 in change in a cup on my desk.

What was unrealistic about that?

Although I am not going to use that headline anymore thanks to the awesome suggestions in this thread. I wanted to clear things up for YOU.






Thanks for your reply SEOBRO ;-),
JD

Originally Posted by seobro

Hi jonny:

It sound unrealistic to the max. Kind of like hype that you see in an infomercial - well, not anymore.

Like it is similar to me saying:

Hey, buddy, I can show you. Yeah, I can show you how to date a cheerleader TODAY right now, before sunrise. Hey, this method works even if you are the school nerd with a face full of acne. It is the dawn of a new day for you.


BTW, my secret method is called winning the LOTTO. Always knew they was a CATCH, didn't you?

[escribe]

I like that you used a specific time line, however my first thought was (OMG, I don't want to spend 9 hours learning that!)

Lots of newbies and opp seekers are looking for the fasted, greatest thing. Mention that they can start an IM biz with all of the tools available in your package. Mention the benefits of your offer over your competition... fast, very inexpensive etc.

[Johnny Danes]

HI Escribe,

JD here....


Thanks for the reply....I am not going to use that headline anymore. I was given great suggestions to use instead.

I am going to work on creating a new one.

Thanks for the tip.

JD

Originally Posted by escribe

I like that you used a specific time line, however my first thought was (OMG, I don't want to spend 9 hours learning that!)

Lots of newbies and opp seekers are looking for the fasted, greatest thing. Mention that they can start an IM biz with all of the tools available in your package. Mention the benefits of your offer over your competition... fast, very inexpensive etc.

[Hugh Thyer]

"Start your own business online for only $19"

Then open with a comparison of how much it costs to open up a 'bricks and mortar' business, then show them some examples of people who have million dollar internet businesses.

eg. To buy a McDonalds costs $2,000,000. Or a Starbucks costs $1,500,000. Or (insert another franchise here.

But did you know that you can earn just as much, if not more by running your own business online?

Last year, (insert example here) made $5,000,000 with his online business. And (insert example here) did $3,500,000 with her business selling (whatever). And (third example).

The best thing of all, you can get started with your own online empire right now for only $19. Why would you want to spend hundreds of thousands, or even millions on a business when you can make just as much online for a tiny fraction of the price?

Then detail how little is at risk (investment is so small), you don't need a massive bank loan like them, you work your own hours, have no employees, work from home etc etc.

NOTE: The dollar amounts here are PURE FICTION. I really have no idea how much it costs to buy these exsting businesses. But do some research and I'm sure you can find some solid figures to support your case.

Hugh

[copyassassin]

Originally Posted by Johnny Danes

Like a lot of IM products it's for beginners and people that have been trying for a while but have not had success.
JD

Just a thought that beginners and those who have been trying a while are two DIFFERENT groups of people.

For the people who have failing, the key question, is, "What are you failing at? What is preventing your success? Why are you screwing up?"

I kinda like your title for complete beginners. For people with more experience you'll need a claim or more defined niche.

And yes, I also agree with the other posted comments.

[rockone]

Seems perfect to me. You have all the USPs in the title and surely it will be going to good click into your sales. Keep it up. Good work.

[Viramara]

"How To Start Your Own Internet Business in 9 hours using the change from the botton of your sofa."

Seriously...no offense and not to put you down but if I ever come across a report like this title I'll never opt-in even if I'm the greenest newbie

Make it specific and compelling. Something like "Start your own online empire 9 hours from now, even if you....."
You name it : broke, have no money, no website, no list, etc. Well my example is far from the best but you got the idea.