My 1-st Follow-up message.

[Souldja]

Hi everybody. This is my first message to my subscribers after they confirm.

I need a critique because I want to finish my copy and then work with driving traffic..

SUBJECT
_______________________
Hello. It's great to have you!

I hope you will enjoy the ideas which I will share with you in this newsletter.

Your 7-steps guide is attached to this email as a "pdf" document. Download it to your computer and then open to read.

But firstly I just wanted to write you and introduce myself...

I'm Simon Ricci, and I've spent the last several years figuring out how to keep relationship fresh and long termed.

This led me down a several-year-long path of learning and finally testing and refining what I learned to come up with a methods that really helps to save passion.

As I said earlier on Hugeids.com I had some problems with my girlfriend. She's name is Kate. We lost the passion to each other..

And then we've lost the enthusiasm to make love...and it can happen to anyone!

So I jumped on the net and started to look around for some ideas, when I found a one book called «500 lovemaking tips and secrets».

I've bought this book and..

AWESOME!! There are really explosive ideas! This book helped me to realize that the most profound way to rekindle the romance in your marriage is to spice up your lovemaking.

Many people underestimate the affect passionate and intimate lovemaking has on a relationship.

When I've bought a book and started to read, Kate came over to see what I was doing. Once she knew what it was, she pretty much kicked me off the computer to read it herself. So in the end, did the book work?

You be the judge: That same night, she brought some strawberries and fondue downstairs to eat while we watched a movie. (Obviously inspired from the book.)And I was totally surprised. I never would have thought that something as simple as eating fruit and chocolate during foreplay would make things so much more exciting. I will not go into "details" about what happened after that... ... but all I can say is, I'm a big fan of this book.

And our relationship is great now because we have tried to change it for the better through diversity in lovemaking!

We're never short of ideas to make things exciting. If we ever need an idea, we just open up the book. It's great!

I think it is the best relationship book on the web.

@AFFILIATE LINK@

Just try these lovemaking techniques that you can find reading "500 lovemaking tips and ideas":

"Real or imitation pearl necklaces are wonderful love making tools to wrap and maneuver around his meatstick. Lubricants can break down some threads so you might need to get them restrung."

"Help your guy to have a super orgasm by bringing him close to climax but stopping action before he goes over the top. Do this several times before you let him explode."


"Contact your partner's family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted. You can do this for your man too."


"Most guys love to hear sounds and words of pleasure coming from their wife during lovemaking. If you have difficulty doing so, practice on your own when no one is around."

"Guys are extremely turned on by watching their wife caress herself or even masturbate. It lets them know what feels good to her so they can try to do the same."

@AFFILIATE LINK@

Michael Webb always (author of this book) including several complimentary bonuses to this book!

Ok, once you read my next message you will know 5 myths.. Myths that are holding you back from sizzling lovemaking with your man. It's also "must have" knowledge for women.

Warmly,

Simon Ricci

[Stephen Dean]

Originally Posted by Souldja

Hello. It's great to have you!

I hope you will enjoy the ideas which I will share with you in this newsletter.

Your 7-steps guide is attached to this email as a "pdf" document. Download it to your computer and then open to read.

But firstly I just wanted to write you and introduce myself...

I'm Simon Ricci, and I've spent the last several years figuring out how to keep relationship fresh and long termed.

This led me down a several-year-long path of learning and finally testing and refining what I learned to come up with a methods that really helps to save passion.

Getting better Souldja.

But you should be starting off with what's in it for them, not an introduction of yourself. You can still have the introduction, but set it up as the introduction of a story about getting the passion back.

So you start the email saying thanks for signing up ra-ra, then tell them how they're going to benefit from reading. Tell them you're going to teach them how to add passion to their relationship as quickly as TONIGHT, if they keep reading.

Tell them you're going to share your story of how you added passion... but FIRST you want to give them some background info. And then introduce yourself.

This will add the zeigarnik effect to your copy and keep them reading through your intro to get to the benefits for them.

Cheers,
Stephen Dean

[Cam Connor]

Hey Souldja,

Your first e-mail in your auto-responder series needs to be lazer-focused on getting them to read the free resource your offering to them. A quick introduction is ok, but you REALLY need to get to the meat and potatoes of what it is you have to offer them.

Go through the Report you're giving them and make sure to add some tantalizing bullets of various things they'll get from reading your report...
Remember, a consumer that takes the time to read what you've given them is FAR more invested in what you have to say, and FAR more susceptible to what you have to offer them later.

[Souldja]

Thank you.
I will rewrite some parts of copy and then send to someone who can proofread it.

[Viramara]

LOL I know the ebook you mean because I've reviewed it myself!!!
First of all....just my suggestion....

it's a BAD BAD IDEA to sell straightforward on your first email. You've given a free report and it's okay. But the point of first followup email is to warm up, to do "foreplay" with your prospects first so you can build your credibility - not to scare them away. Build relationship first, tell some story, tell common problem found in relationship and why woman is so hard to read and how your prospect can overcome it themselves. That's the main reason they sign up to your list. The don't sign up to see someone they don't know pushing them to buy product they don't know.

if you're building this credibility first, your next emails open rate will be good.

P.S. fix some grammatical errors in your writing.

[O0o0O]

The copy is way too long in my opinion. People will close the email before they can get to your affiliate link.

[Spyder77]

Originally Posted by O0o0O

The copy is way too long in my opinion. People will close the email before they can get to your affiliate link.

Its too much plain text to read, as it makes no use of bold face, italics, or underlining. It also lacks transitional headers to chunk it. Paragraphs also need to be shortened. Outside of academic papers and government policies, it is a taboo thing to have long paragraphs. Especially in an IM article or letter.

[Souldja]

Look at my squeeze page (my ebook is there..)

Want To Revive Passion In Your Relationship?

[SERPWizzard]

It's a bit long, I only read half and scrolled through the rest. Most others will do the same. liked the intro, I would break this into 2 or three emails.