Squeeze Page

meetbryce · 07-03-2011, 10:25 PM

Hi Guys,

Have gotten some amazing feedback from you all in the past and it has made a massive difference! Appreciate it immensely.

I've now optimised my sales letter to get a much better conversion rate than it did in the past (around 27% thus far, which admittedly has only been to our internal database).

That sales page (here), pushes to a squeeze page which I would love to get your feedback on.

It can be found here.

Thanks in advance for your valuable contributions.

Viramara · 07-04-2011, 05:41 AM

Oh wow!! I'm freaking speechless...The graphic is irresistible for sure. But the sales copy is great and I forget I'm not in Aussie now (it even entices me to join

)
I think your birds are ready to fly. But let's hear from someone more expert

marciayudkin · 07-04-2011, 06:14 AM

I've never heard of people asking for payment on a squeeze page.

The function of a squeeze page is to get people to opt in.

So your question is extremely confusing. Maybe you gave us the wrong link?

If this is indeed the payment page, rather than the squeeze page, it is flawed because it fails to say clearly when and where the event is. It also fails to say when the Early Bird price offer ends.

Marcia Yudkin

meetbryce · 07-04-2011, 05:06 PM

links are correct. it seems to be a semantic issue. apologies.

so those are both things that I have to have on the payment page?

AdwordsMogul · 07-04-2011, 06:03 PM

White on red text is hard to read on the computer. It's really hard on the eyes.

What's your headline? What's the big promise? In a sentence, what do I get by coming to this event?

Your sales copy is not focusing on the right elements. Right now, it's focused on what you believe is right, not on what your potential attendees care about.

For instance, you say "The world has changed..." and made that stand out. However, to your readers the more relevant statement is "Are you tired of...."

Your speakers seem to have good credential. You will get a stronger response if you find specific stories and examples of what these guys will do for those who attend.

For instance: saying "...will leave you thinking in a new way..." is very vague.

On the other hand, something like "... has help 70 start-ups to date to reach $3000000 combined yearly income..." is more specific.

In addition, you need to put some more effort into building up value. $47 may or may not be a lot for you target audience. Nevertheless, more contrast between what they are getting, and what they are paying, will help.

Overall, your copy is not the worst - if you spend more time on it, you will get better results.

SocialNetworks · 07-04-2011, 07:56 PM

Quick and dirty review...

Loved it - The color schemes i was a big fan of, i really didnt find anything at all that i would point out as requiring urgent adjustment.

07-03-2011, 10:25 PM	#1
meetbryce Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 21 Thanks: 9 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Squeeze Page - Selling a $47 event ticket. Hi Guys, Have gotten some amazing feedback from you all in the past and it has made a massive difference! Appreciate it immensely. I've now optimised my sales letter to get a much better conversion rate than it did in the past (around 27% thus far, which admittedly has only been to our internal database). That sales page (here), pushes to a squeeze page which I would love to get your feedback on. It can be found here. Thanks in advance for your valuable contributions.

07-04-2011, 05:41 AM	#2
Viramara handwriting analyst Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: anywhere but here Posts: 381 Thanks: 118 Thanked 62 Times in 51 Posts	Re: Squeeze Page - Selling a $47 event ticket. Oh wow!! I'm freaking speechless...The graphic is irresistible for sure. But the sales copy is great and I forget I'm not in Aussie now (it even entices me to join ) I think your birds are ready to fly. But let's hear from someone more expert

07-04-2011, 06:14 AM	#3
marciayudkin Marketing Mentor War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Maui and Massachusetts Posts: 1,226 Thanks: 139 Thanked 645 Times in 305 Posts Social Networking	Re: Squeeze Page - Selling a $47 event ticket. I've never heard of people asking for payment on a squeeze page. The function of a squeeze page is to get people to opt in. So your question is extremely confusing. Maybe you gave us the wrong link? If this is indeed the payment page, rather than the squeeze page, it is flawed because it fails to say clearly when and where the event is. It also fails to say when the Early Bird price offer ends. Marcia Yudkin
	Author, Meatier Marketing Copy, available in paperback, Kindle, Nook, Audible audiobook “There are few genuine thought leaders in the field of copywriting. Marcia Yudkin is one of them. The strategies she presents in Meatier Marketing Copy are all easy to understand and implement, yet profoundly insightful. If you want to write marketing copy that sizzles and sells, this book is a must-read.” - Steve Slaunwhite, Author, Start & Run a Copywriting Business, Co-Author, The Wealthy Freelancer

07-04-2011, 05:06 PM	#4
meetbryce Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 21 Thanks: 9 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Squeeze Page - Selling a $47 event ticket. links are correct. it seems to be a semantic issue. apologies. so those are both things that I have to have on the payment page?

07-04-2011, 06:03 PM	#5
AdwordsMogul Still... War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 1,007 Thanks: 379 Thanked 421 Times in 206 Posts	Re: Squeeze Page - Selling a $47 event ticket. White on red text is hard to read on the computer. It's really hard on the eyes. What's your headline? What's the big promise? In a sentence, what do I get by coming to this event? Your sales copy is not focusing on the right elements. Right now, it's focused on what you believe is right, not on what your potential attendees care about. For instance, you say "The world has changed..." and made that stand out. However, to your readers the more relevant statement is "Are you tired of...." Your speakers seem to have good credential. You will get a stronger response if you find specific stories and examples of what these guys will do for those who attend. For instance: saying "...will leave you thinking in a new way..." is very vague. On the other hand, something like "... has help 70 start-ups to date to reach $3000000 combined yearly income..." is more specific. In addition, you need to put some more effort into building up value. $47 may or may not be a lot for you target audience. Nevertheless, more contrast between what they are getting, and what they are paying, will help. Overall, your copy is not the worst - if you spend more time on it, you will get better results.
	"No, the CEO is over there. I'm just the guy who pays him." Jean Paul a.k.a The Mogul

07-04-2011, 07:56 PM	#6
SocialNetworks Warrior Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 29 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Squeeze Page - Selling a $47 event ticket. Quick and dirty review... Loved it - The color schemes i was a big fan of, i really didnt find anything at all that i would point out as requiring urgent adjustment.