Give an Amateur Copywriter Your Feedback, Get My WSO Free :)

[Dan B Rusu]

Hey warriors,

I've learned so much about copywriting from this section of the forum and appreciate everyone on here. I'd also greatly appreciate if you could take a minute and give me your feedback and tips to improve the copy on my new WSO. You can see it by clicking here.

I tried to use alot of persuation tactics that I've learned. What is missing is social proof, and I am getting reviews coming in as we speak.

I'll send a free copy to anyone who's tips are helpful and I implement in the WSO.

Thanks!

[John_S]

Really social proof is proof. Fake screenshots are a dime a dozen.

Use a betatest as 1) social proof generator. 2) Credible evidence you have addressed the flaws a half million or so have found with similar offers.

You are late to the party. Get a clue that you will have to be twice as smart.


P.S. Please do not give me your WSO for Free. Because I refuse on principle. Based on that copy there is nothing you have that I want.

[Dan B Rusu]

Originally Posted by John_S

Really social proof is proof. Fake screenshots are a dime a dozen.

Use a betatest as 1) social proof generator. 2) Credible evidence you have addressed the flaws a half million or so have found with similar offers.

You are late to the party. Get a clue that you will have to be twice as smart.


P.S. Please do not give me your WSO for Free. Because I refuse on principle. Based on that copy there is nothing you have that I want.

Thanks for the response, even though it was for the most part unhelpful.

- I have 20 betatesters. Their reviews are streaming in as we speak.
- I had addressed flaws with other guides, but will go in a do better job of it.

Late to what party...?

Give me an example of a wso whose copy you think is written well.

[travlinguy]

Your headline is too much. Much of your copy is unnecessary. Your bullets are a bit clunky, not bad, but they could be sharpened up a lot.

WSOs are a different animal than regular online offers. You've got half of it right. That is, you have good testimonials. Keep those coming. I'm not much for earnings screenshots and would never make a buying decision based on one. Many WSO shoppers want to see that stuff. They'll help you more than hurt you.

With a WSO you need to trim the body copy down to simple facts. That is, what is this information going to do for ME? Get to that right away and keep it simple. As I've already mentioned, you have a lot of unnecessary stuff in there. I'd go with a headline something like this:

Turn $166 Into $555 Every Month With This System

Then give a very brief explanation as to what you did. Let them know how simple it is. Then hit them with the benefit-oriented bullets. Good luck.

[vip-ip]

Young entrepreneurs like videos. Text can get boring. Make one.

Best Regards,
vip-ip ...