Witness the Superb Symbiosis of Ted Nicholas & Randy Gage...

[Highkick]

...on only a week of studying them.

Ok, forgive the over the top intro, especially from a noob such as myself. I would never really compare myself to masters like Ted & Randy.

I'm just now really getting into copywriting & while I have always known of its significance only recently have I understood what an unbelievably awesome influence the right ingredients of words has on a reader. It truly is a work of art.

I humbly & eagerly submit my work to be critiqued by others here. Check it out, examine it with a microscope, poke & prod at it, beat it up then tear it down, rip it to pieces, hold nothing back on this young grass hopper.

I'm building a brand new site & trying to take a completely different approach to my content. Only 3 articles on there as of right now with more to come. I would really like to hear your thoughts on my most recent article titled ".....Do You Feel Like Erica Does?"

www(dot)7daydietmealplan(dot)net


Thanks!

[travlinguy]

Not a bad effort. First, you have no headline to speak of. You need one. Go for something like,

In A Hurry To Lose That Excess Weight? See Dramatic Weight Loss Results In Only Seven Days!

That's off the top of my head. You can do much better if you work at it. Also, this sentence isn't working.

Simply just a few modifications to your current diet & you’ll begin to notice a remarkable difference.

I'll leave some for the others. One other thing, put the actual link up. It's okay. Good luck.

[Alex Cohen]

Abstract concepts don't sell.

Terms like "amazing results" and "a remarkable difference" and "total transformation" and "encouraging results" are just blah, blah, blah to the reader.

Alex

[Scott Lambency]

The red border around the picture draws eyes away from the words...