How to reach people in Hiding:

hybrid43 · 07-17-2011, 10:47 PM

Hi, I'm trying to write a copy for Loan Modification offer.

It's quite difficult. You can't be too aggressive or passive. Can't be too positive or negative. If you write something in the middle, the copy becomes bland and uninteresting.

It also doesn't help that people who need Loan Modifications are usually hiding. Don't want family, friends or neighbors knowing they are having difficulties. They tend to clam up into their shells rather than looking for help. Usually they wait till the last minute until there can be nothing done about their situation.

In the past, I try to make it the copy light-hearted. But recently, I realized that the copy has to be more motivational and inspiring. It's like asking a turtle to come out of their shell. Basically, I'm writing a copy targeting people who do not want to be found and do not know what loan modification can be a solution to their problem.

If anyone has any thoughts or could point me in the general direction, that would be fantastic. Note, we are under the assumption that I have to make this copy work and cannot move on to another copy. Think as though this is the only offer you can write a copy for and you have to make it work.

Thank you in advance. Excited to hear your ideas.

ewenmack · 07-17-2011, 11:05 PM

A major player in the US loan modification business, directly and indirectly pays wages of over 700 people, gave lots of helpful information on their website.

They had and still do have very good people on the phones which have a very high conversion to sales, 45%.

They hit a ceiling on about 3 to 4% sales from their website.

So the guy responsible for this asked the question "what if we put all our effort to get people to phone in?"

Very smart question because sales shot up.

They created the right environment in which the website visitor felt safe
and therefore felt comfortable talking to someone about his/her situation.

I won't mention their name because you are in the same market.

Best,
Ewen

Cam Connor · 07-18-2011, 12:02 AM

I would imagine he is trying to gather leads, because nobody would just buy a multi thousand dollar loan mod off the internet... I don't care how good your headline is. lol

vip-ip · 07-18-2011, 12:05 AM

Sounds like the objection of people "inside their shell" lies within uncertainty. If they were certain that they could save money, they'd do it in a heartbeat, right?

Quote:

Hey, listen, Reader, I know you're skeptical about loan modifications; I don't know if you've refinanced before, but I am aware that you're knowledgeable about your personal mortgage. Many people doubt what we offer at first, until they take a closer look. Lucky for you, our services are inexpensive, AND we're one of America's leading refinancing agencies. Here, let me show you ...

Obviously not the tone in which this would be written, but I think that's the sense that the copy has to convey.

Best of luck, let us know how it goes.

Best Regards,
vip-ip ...

hybrid43 · 07-20-2011, 10:16 AM

It's not necessarily have to be only a internet offer. They also do a lot of mailing, so any copy which can be applied to print or online offers will be valid.

vip-ip · 07-20-2011, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hybrid43

It's not necessarily have to be only a internet offer. They also do a lot of mailing, so any copy which can be applied to print or online offers will be valid.

One thing we did at the company I work at is mail packets via FedEx with customized letters. Just did a mail merge for 15 data lines in Excel, with custom fields like "focus" "state" and others. Out comes a standard letter with 5 or 6 data-mined fields that makes the standard letter look like it was written just for that person. We paperclipped the VP's business card to the letter, and he signed it. It went out with a 10-page marketing packet. So far so good: 20% conversions into online demo of our product. At 30% close ratio, the fedex packages were a great investment.

A. It gets attention in the pile of regular mail
B. It's a direct appeal to a given person, and that person's company only
C. Bypass the gatekeeper. "Here's a package for you" > "You've got Vas on line 3"

Best Regards,
vip-ip ...

Mr Steve · 07-21-2011, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cam Connor

I would imagine he is trying to gather leads, because nobody would just buy a multi thousand dollar loan mod off the internet... I don't care how good your headline is. lol

Yes, he is most likely trying to just generate leads. The headline is irrelevant here!

ASCW · 07-21-2011, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Steve

Yes, he is most likely trying to just generate leads. The headline is irrelevant here!

I hope you're joking about the headline part.

hybrid43 · 07-22-2011, 10:29 AM

It's just have I have to write some kind of head lines to motivate these people in unfortunate circumstances. I haven't done it before.

Cam Connor · 07-22-2011, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hybrid43

It's just have I have to write some kind of head lines to motivate these people in unfortunate circumstances. I haven't done it before.

hybrid, it's a 1-2 punch... 1) Afraid to lose your home? 2) Help is on the way, just enter your info, blah blah blah.

Of course, that's the angle you wanna take, not the actual copy you wanna use.

Loren Woirhaye · 07-23-2011, 05:29 AM

Read the books on copy by Robert Collier and Drayton Bird.

07-17-2011, 10:47 PM	#1
hybrid43 Active Warrior Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 86 Thanks: 31 Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts	How to reach people in Hiding: Hi, I'm trying to write a copy for Loan Modification offer. It's quite difficult. You can't be too aggressive or passive. Can't be too positive or negative. If you write something in the middle, the copy becomes bland and uninteresting. It also doesn't help that people who need Loan Modifications are usually hiding. Don't want family, friends or neighbors knowing they are having difficulties. They tend to clam up into their shells rather than looking for help. Usually they wait till the last minute until there can be nothing done about their situation. In the past, I try to make it the copy light-hearted. But recently, I realized that the copy has to be more motivational and inspiring. It's like asking a turtle to come out of their shell. Basically, I'm writing a copy targeting people who do not want to be found and do not know what loan modification can be a solution to their problem. If anyone has any thoughts or could point me in the general direction, that would be fantastic. Note, we are under the assumption that I have to make this copy work and cannot move on to another copy. Think as though this is the only offer you can write a copy for and you have to make it work. Thank you in advance. Excited to hear your ideas.

07-17-2011, 11:05 PM	#2
ewenmack Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Posts: 2,092 Thanks: 790 Thanked 1,027 Times in 558 Posts	Re: How to reach people in Hiding: A major player in the US loan modification business, directly and indirectly pays wages of over 700 people, gave lots of helpful information on their website. They had and still do have very good people on the phones which have a very high conversion to sales, 45%. They hit a ceiling on about 3 to 4% sales from their website. So the guy responsible for this asked the question "what if we put all our effort to get people to phone in?" Very smart question because sales shot up. They created the right environment in which the website visitor felt safe and therefore felt comfortable talking to someone about his/her situation. I won't mention their name because you are in the same market. Best, Ewen

07-18-2011, 12:02 AM	#3
Cam Connor Insane Links War Room Member Join Date: May 2011 Location: The U.S.A Posts: 527 Thanks: 332 Thanked 99 Times in 73 Posts Contact Info	Re: How to reach people in Hiding: I would imagine he is trying to gather leads, because nobody would just buy a multi thousand dollar loan mod off the internet... I don't care how good your headline is. lol
	"I am the happiest man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Archilles; Fortune hath not one place to hit me." -Sir Thomas Browne

07-20-2011, 10:16 AM	#5
hybrid43 Active Warrior Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 86 Thanks: 31 Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts	Re: How to reach people in Hiding: It's not necessarily have to be only a internet offer. They also do a lot of mailing, so any copy which can be applied to print or online offers will be valid.

07-22-2011, 10:29 AM	#9
hybrid43 Active Warrior Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 86 Thanks: 31 Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts	Re: How to reach people in Hiding: It's just have I have to write some kind of head lines to motivate these people in unfortunate circumstances. I haven't done it before.

07-23-2011, 05:29 AM	#11
Loren Woirhaye Who'm I kidding? War Room Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Easthampton, Massachusetts Posts: 4,554 Blog Entries: 15 Thanks: 118 Thanked 921 Times in 659 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: How to reach people in Hiding: Read the books on copy by Robert Collier and Drayton Bird.
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