Does My Squeeze Copy Need A Makeover?

[smallbusinessguy]

Deal warriors,

Could you critique my short squeeze page?

Salesmaximus Business Resource |

Many thanks in advance

[jaggyjay]

Looks nice! I'd just make things a bit more compact.

I'm viewing from a screen with 1024 x 768 and your bullet points have a lot of white space between them; so it makes me have to scroll down to read the last one.

Also, I'd split-test the "forced opt-in for content" vs. what you now have (ie: the message stating that one only has to confirm if they like the content). A test will show which works better for you.

Best,
- Jay

[smallbusinessguy]

Thanks Jay.

I cant do anything about the whitespace as it's the theme that renders that. All I can do is "increase" the whitespace!!!

I'll split test that. However, I have to manually do that. Since making changes to the front end, also means the backend must change.

Any idea how to make it easier? Create two lists using aweber and using one for each test? Or is there any other method?

Maybe I can remove the pre headline to push contents a bit more above the fold

[Zero]

Originally Posted by smallbusinessguy

Deal warriors,

Could you critique my short squeeze page?

Salesmaximus Business Resource |

Many thanks in advance

I'm assuming you've tested the page and the numbers weren't good. If not, go back and test it.

Don't expect people to confirm in huge numbers, if you giving them a choice only to confirm if they like what they see in the video. Its hard enough as it is to get most people to double-opt in....

Either stick to a single opt-in or make them confirm straight away.

Your bullets need to be much stronger. They need to tease, build curiosity...make them want to enter their email just to find out what the bit of info in the bullet....

And of course, the headline is something to test as well.

[smallbusinessguy]

No. I haven't tested the page. I just wrote the copy. Didn't even set up the aweber code on the page.

Don't expect people to confirm in huge numbers, if you giving them a choice only to confirm if they like what they see in the video. Its hard enough as it is to get most people to double-opt in....

Why I decided to do this is because people have a clearer understanding of what to expect in my emails. The current one on my main site salesmaximus.com gets some subscribers. But, it's a very non responsive list.

Even if it is 50 people, I'd like action takers to be on my list rather than people who join to try and get the freebie and then leave or people who don't even bother to open our emails.

Can you give me some advice on how I can improve the bullets? Should I change wordings? Or should I introduce completely new bullets?

[amo992]

• The word 'blog' is being used a lot in the beginning of the copy.
  
• The title is misleading. I was expecting to see the blogging mistakes.
  
• You immediately discount anything you have to say when you claim "reading about blogging every day isn’t a very smart idea." Why should I listen to what you have to say?
  
• Why is the word 'fix' in quotations? Are you not really "fixing" it?
  
• significant:insignificant::a little:a lot
  
• Add the word 'most' somewhere in the last bullet point.
• Why place a disclaimer about the video when you don't explicitly state what the video is about or its benefits?

[smallbusinessguy]

Thank you amo992.

The word 'blog' is being used a lot in the beginning of the copy

Is it? I kinda figured out that will work good since my target will be bloggers. Do you think I should remove the pre head or sub head?

The title is misleading. I was expecting to see the blogging mistakes

I promise to reveal the blogging mistakes in the video (See "Uncover The Blogging Myths In This Video" heading just about the opt in). It's the freebie you get for opting in (Sort of, in the sense, you can get it before confirming the subscription)

Why should I listen to what you have to say?

Not sure how I can build credibility for something a bit controversial before someone watches the video. Any tips?

Why is the word 'fix' in quotations? Are you not really "fixing" it?

I did that because, it's not entirely a fix or a tip to improve blogging. It's a completely different solution.

Add the word 'most' somewhere in the last bullet point

Couldn't find a good place to add most. But changed the bullet point a little.

Why place a disclaimer about the video when you don't explicitly state what the video is about or its benefits?

Because I say that in the video you will uncover some myths. If they don't find it useful, then dont need to confirm.

[kellyburdes]

There is no image displayed for the video (at least for me) when I go to your page.

I have found that aside from the headline the image you use is the second most important variable in your squeeze pages.

Also just the obvious stuff, test your headline.

Move the order of your bullet points around and see what that gets you.

Once you get something your happy with send about 90% of your traffic to that page since you know it works, but always be working on something else with about 10% of your traffic so you can make small improvements.

I made a number of small improvements in my business this year and it really ads up, so always be testing and improving.

Your squeeze page is a huge leverage point in your business that a lot of people seem to forget.

Anyway it's pretty late here and I was just getting ready for bed, but hopefully I gave you something to think about that will help you out.

[smallbusinessguy]

Originally Posted by kellyburdes

There is no image displayed for the video (at least for me) when I go to your page.

I have found that aside from the headline the image you use is the second most important variable in your squeeze pages.

Were you not able to see the image of the video towards the right and above the opt in?

When you hover over it, you should see arrows pointing to the optin box

[Matt Briggs]

Originally Posted by kellyburdes

There is no image displayed for the video (at least for me) when I go to your page.

I have found that aside from the headline the image you use is the second most important variable in your squeeze pages.

Also just the obvious stuff, test your headline.

Move the order of your bullet points around and see what that gets you.

Once you get something your happy with send about 90% of your traffic to that page since you know it works, but always be working on something else with about 10% of your traffic so you can make small improvements.

I made a number of small improvements in my business this year and it really ads up, so always be testing and improving.

Your squeeze page is a huge leverage point in your business that a lot of people seem to forget.

Anyway it's pretty late here and I was just getting ready for bed, but hopefully I gave you something to think about that will help you out.

Hi, I do not see the image hover either. Could be a problem with my browser though..

[kellyburdes]

Yes, I saw that, but the image stinks. It's just a grey box, and then when you point over it some arrows pointing down. That doesn't tell me anything. Am I going to just watch grey screen when I get this video?

Try to find some images from within the video, and make it something that will be interesting to them. Explore with a few different images and see what you get.

Originally Posted by smallbusinessguy

Were you not able to see the image of the video towards the right and above the opt in?

When you hover over it, you should see arrows pointing to the optin box

[Zero]

Originally Posted by smallbusinessguy

No. I haven't tested the page. I just wrote the copy. Didn't even set up the aweber code on the page.

Then before you make any changes, drive traffic to the page and test it. See how it does.

Why I decided to do this is because people have a clearer understanding of what to expect in my emails. The current one on my main site salesmaximus.com gets some subscribers. But, it's a very non responsive list.

Even if it is 50 people, I'd like action takers to be on my list rather than people who join to try and get the freebie and then leave or people who don't even bother to open our emails.

I get what ur getting at, but it won't work. Go for single opt-in or make them confirm before they can receive the video. Asking them to confirm, only if they like the video is gonna kill the number of people that do confirm.

Can you give me some advice on how I can improve the bullets? Should I change wordings? Or should I introduce completely new bullets?

try to improve on these ones, test them and then change them if need be.
If you need a great lesson on how to write killer bullets then read this by Gary Halbert:
The Gary Halbert Letter

[smallbusinessguy]

I have tried and implemented some changes mentioned....

Do you see the squeeze copy improving?

[Zero]

You need to test it. Let the numbers tell you if its any good or not. Make sure you got some analytics set up like from google - and then check the numbers.

[jaggyjay]

Originally Posted by smallbusinessguy

Thanks Jay.

I cant do anything about the whitespace as it's the theme that renders that. All I can do is "increase" the whitespace!!!

I'll split test that. However, I have to manually do that. Since making changes to the front end, also means the backend must change.

Any idea how to make it easier? Create two lists using aweber and using one for each test? Or is there any other method?

Maybe I can remove the pre headline to push contents a bit more above the fold

Can you edit the Theme? If not, or aren't comfortable making such changes, then you can leave well-enough alone. If you do attempt to make changes, just be sure to back up the original.

As far as split-testing: You'd create 2 opt-in forms on aweber (ie: "opt-in1" and "opt-in2"). You can then use Google's website optimizer for split testing. It will swap out one web page for another. Alternatively, you can use a simple php script.

If you're using Wordpress - I'm sure there's a plugin that can do the form rotations.

Best,
- Jay

[smallbusinessguy]

I am using optimziepress. Just found a video on how to do A/B split testing. Will get it up and running in about a few days!!!

Thank you all for your suggestions.

[sundown16]

...I would say, the header doesn't grab me
change the font, the color and I would switch the text
between header and sub-header..

just adding my 2 cents worth...