Can someone critique this fiverr copy?

mediaspree · 08-10-2011, 04:47 PM

My fiverr gig has , at the time of this writing, 667 views, I have had a few sales but not as many as I think it could with better copy. I welcome any advice!

Title:I will show you how I make a living promoting online dating sites for you to mimic my success for $5

Copy: I generate $10,000 EVERY MONTH promoting niche online dating sites. I will send you a report showing EXACTLY what you need get started promoting your own online dating site TODAY. Topics include: *Choosing your niche/brand *The "Secret" to getting 1000s of real members from day 1 *How to promote *Writing effective ad copy *Putting it all on autopilot. FIVERR BONUS: When you buy this report, I'll set up a dating site FOR YOU to promote at no cost!

emasaa · 08-11-2011, 10:50 AM

Maybe the issue is not the copy but the believability of the copy. You make $10,000 a month, yet you offer a $5 gig? Is that believable without proof?

Because its fiverr, why not start with the second sentence and remove the unbelievable section in the copy.

Rockwell · 08-11-2011, 11:49 AM

This sounds more like a WSO for $20.

EricMN · 08-11-2011, 02:11 PM

First I think starting about yourself rather than who you’re talking to is weaker than, let’s say, laying it out there for them all at once (ironic sentence, lol). I’d go with "Learn how ___" rather than "I generate". It’s less egocentric. Everyone likes a pro but no one likes a braggart. In order to address the believability mentioned above, you could put a lower value and ad a + afterwards. It will still be impressive and any extra gains buyers make will only add to their gratitude which is likely to generate good feedback and enforce your selling power.

There’s a lot of flash in this short little snippet. To me, that makes it feel convoluted but that’s personal preference. The FIVERR Bonus at the end is good, but you highlight FOR YOU instead of NO COST. I’m happy you’re doing this for me, but would rather it be for free. Free is just too powerful.

Enis · 08-12-2011, 10:15 AM

You are not being honest. If you are, then maybe I'd take you seriously.

How on earth do you expect someone to purchase a gig from you for $4 when you are making $10.000?! Anyone can spot lies.

GMD · 08-12-2011, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mediaspree

My fiverr gig has , at the time of this writing, 667 views, I have had a few sales but not as many as I think it could with better copy. I welcome any advice!

Title:I will show you how I make a living promoting online dating sites for you to mimic my success for $5

Copy: I generate $10,000 EVERY MONTH promoting niche online dating sites. I will send you a report showing EXACTLY what you need get started promoting your own online dating site TODAY. Topics include: *Choosing your niche/brand *The "Secret" to getting 1000s of real members from day 1 *How to promote *Writing effective ad copy *Putting it all on autopilot. FIVERR BONUS: When you buy this report, I'll set up a dating site FOR YOU to promote at no cost!

Maybe rearrange it a little? For example:

TITLE: Free dating website set up for you - promote it yourself and make CASH!

COPY: I make A LOT of extra cash every month promoting online dating sites in certain niches. It's exciting and I want you to know how I do it! For $5, I will send you my step-by-step report showing you how you can get started today!

...and so fourth and so on...

Even better, write a few versions of this different ways. Post a version and leave it there for 48 hours and see what happens. If you're satisfied with the results, you've found an appealing copy. If not, switch it up again. Keep going until you find what works OR

After all that work and trying everything, you have to come to the conclusion that there's just no market or interest on Fiverr for what you're offering at the moment.

I certainly hope that helps even a little! Best of luck!

kellyburdes · 08-12-2011, 11:06 AM

I'm kinda reluctant to help you because I have a hard time believing you.

I actually know a couple people in the dating niche, not very many, but a few, most guys in that niche are lazy SOB's so $10K a month would actually put you pretty close to the middle of the top tier over there.

Anyway...

Your making some common mistakes that other people often make, so it's possible this will help them, and if I'm mistaken about my assumption about you please accept my apology.

Round numbers are MUCH less believable than "real" ones. For example, I made $10,073.44 last month promoting dating niche sites, and I want to show you how.

If your making $10,000 a month, selling this as a Fivr gig is pretty hard to believe, just as everyone here said.

If you want to increase your conversions, you need to include a pretty strong reason why you are selling this "$10k a month secret" as a Fivrr gig.

Put some sort of deadline on it, I can only sell XXX copies, or this is only going to be available until XXX...if you can combine your reason for the deadline along with the reason why your selling the gig in the first place thats even better.

Anyway that should get ya started.

Go look at the story lines that any number of IM offers follow with the reason they are doing it and you can start to come up with ideas.

JK

Edit PS. Here's an example of adding a reason why. I was once giving away nearly $700 in bonus to get people to sign up for a $29 a month product. The copy was great, but it was converting for S***....well turns out nobody believed any sane person would give away $700 in bonus to get you to buy a $29 a month product...so I explained to them. The reason I'm giving away so many bonus is that I really want you to subscribe to my service, and I want you to subscribe because frankly, I know that once you do you will buy many more of my products and services, and you will be worth far more than the $700 I'm giving away in bonus.

08-10-2011, 04:47 PM	#1
mediaspree Active Warrior Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 85 Thanks: 0 Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts	Can someone critique this fiverr copy? My fiverr gig has , at the time of this writing, 667 views, I have had a few sales but not as many as I think it could with better copy. I welcome any advice! Title:I will show you how I make a living promoting online dating sites for you to mimic my success for $5 Copy: I generate $10,000 EVERY MONTH promoting niche online dating sites. I will send you a report showing EXACTLY what you need get started promoting your own online dating site TODAY. Topics include: Choosing your niche/brand The "Secret" to getting 1000s of real members from day 1 How to promote Writing effective ad copy *Putting it all on autopilot. FIVERR BONUS: When you buy this report, I'll set up a dating site FOR YOU to promote at no cost!
	I will show you EXACTLY how I make a living online with niche dating sites for $5 Click Here.

08-11-2011, 10:50 AM	#2
emasaa Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: World Posts: 44 Thanks: 6 Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Can someone critique this fiverr copy? Maybe the issue is not the copy but the believability of the copy. You make $10,000 a month, yet you offer a $5 gig? Is that believable without proof? Because its fiverr, why not start with the second sentence and remove the unbelievable section in the copy.
	If you Want to Rank TODAY and Make Some Money too then Ndotoa Is your Solution Get your articles written by the Best Article Writing Service

08-11-2011, 11:49 AM	#3
Rockwell HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 100 Thanks: 26 Thanked 23 Times in 22 Posts	Re: Can someone critique this fiverr copy? This sounds more like a WSO for $20.
	Rockwell Information Solutions, LLC Specializing in Superbly Written, Newsworthy PRESS RELEASES You Know You Need a SEO PRESS RELEASE!!!! Click here and I will set you up with the best, most newsworthy PRESS RELEASE you've ever read.

08-11-2011, 02:11 PM	#4
EricMN JSEN Copywriting Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 165 Thanks: 93 Thanked 96 Times in 65 Posts Contact Info	Re: Can someone critique this fiverr copy? First I think starting about yourself rather than who you’re talking to is weaker than, let’s say, laying it out there for them all at once (ironic sentence, lol). I’d go with "Learn how ___" rather than "I generate". It’s less egocentric. Everyone likes a pro but no one likes a braggart. In order to address the believability mentioned above, you could put a lower value and ad a + afterwards. It will still be impressive and any extra gains buyers make will only add to their gratitude which is likely to generate good feedback and enforce your selling power. There’s a lot of flash in this short little snippet. To me, that makes it feel convoluted but that’s personal preference. The FIVERR Bonus at the end is good, but you highlight FOR YOU instead of NO COST. I’m happy you’re doing this for me, but would rather it be for free. Free is just too powerful.

08-12-2011, 10:15 AM	#5
Enis Active Warrior Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 96 Thanks: 13 Thanked 13 Times in 11 Posts Contact Info	Re: Can someone critique this fiverr copy? You are not being honest. If you are, then maybe I'd take you seriously. How on earth do you expect someone to purchase a gig from you for $4 when you are making $10.000?! Anyone can spot lies.

08-12-2011, 11:06 AM	#7
kellyburdes HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 321 Thanks: 114 Thanked 77 Times in 57 Posts	Re: Can someone critique this fiverr copy? I'm kinda reluctant to help you because I have a hard time believing you. I actually know a couple people in the dating niche, not very many, but a few, most guys in that niche are lazy SOB's so $10K a month would actually put you pretty close to the middle of the top tier over there. Anyway... Your making some common mistakes that other people often make, so it's possible this will help them, and if I'm mistaken about my assumption about you please accept my apology. Round numbers are MUCH less believable than "real" ones. For example, I made $10,073.44 last month promoting dating niche sites, and I want to show you how. If your making $10,000 a month, selling this as a Fivr gig is pretty hard to believe, just as everyone here said. If you want to increase your conversions, you need to include a pretty strong reason why you are selling this "$10k a month secret" as a Fivrr gig. Put some sort of deadline on it, I can only sell XXX copies, or this is only going to be available until XXX...if you can combine your reason for the deadline along with the reason why your selling the gig in the first place thats even better. Anyway that should get ya started. Go look at the story lines that any number of IM offers follow with the reason they are doing it and you can start to come up with ideas. JK Edit PS. Here's an example of adding a reason why. I was once giving away nearly $700 in bonus to get people to sign up for a $29 a month product. The copy was great, but it was converting for S***....well turns out nobody believed any sane person would give away $700 in bonus to get you to buy a $29 a month product...so I explained to them. The reason I'm giving away so many bonus is that I really want you to subscribe to my service, and I want you to subscribe because frankly, I know that once you do you will buy many more of my products and services, and you will be worth far more than the $700 I'm giving away in bonus.