Help with editing beginning content.

rlhenryjr · 01-16-2009, 01:43 PM

Hi everyone.
I hope someone will help me with some editing. A friend and I are working on this and cannot seem to get this last part work. Maybe we have been looking at it too long??
I dont think it requires much. I just don't seem to be able to get the word "intensive" , maybe it doestn need "intensive" but the training is "intensive" .Please help edit this to sound better.
See below if someone can help us organize these headings better.

I cannot post the website link, yet as I dont have enough postings on the forum, but the website is just about finished.
All and any help will be appreciated.
Thanks so much.

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Wow!! FREE Health Evangelism Training
Who wouldn’t want to attend a FREE Health Evangelism Training Seminar? -- Some goals of the seminar are to teach you health principles so that YOU can teach them to others – simple, natural remedies that will effectively show you how to live healthier.

"Give us 1 Week intensive to train You by one the most foremost dynamic and powerful speaker who will keep your attention with his Christ-centered perspective on how to live a healthier lifestyle. He uses what he calls the “owner’s manual” (God’s word, the BIBLE) as a basis for finding ways to prevent diseases. He will discuss various diseases, their causes, prevention, and remedies and other topics."

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Patrice · 01-18-2009, 10:52 AM

Hi, I'm new here but thought I could help with this one. Below is my take on it.

" Participate in one week of our intensive training and you can become a powerful and dynamic speaker, capable of sharing a Christ-centered perspective on healthy living. You will learn how Christ used the word of God to teach on the cause and remedy for disease."

RedPhoenix · 01-19-2009, 10:31 AM

Here is my take on it.

FREE Health Training Seminar

Want to recover your zest and vitality? Then attended our FREE Health
Training Seminar? The Christ-centered perspective to a healthier lifestyle.

Learn the principles of Vibrant Health
Live longer and be healthier
Simple easy to follow natural remedies
Improve the quality of your life
Diseases their causes, prevention & remedies to treat them
Plus other related topics

Treat yourself to 1 Week of intensive training by one the foremost experts of his kind who will hold your attention with his dynamic and powerful style.

He uses what he calls the “owner’s manual” (God’s word, the BIBLE) as a basis for finding ways to prevent diseases.

We help You - You help Others - By teaching them what you've learned

Recommend that you include the name of the person giving the free seminar as this will make the offer warmer and far more personal.

All the best in your endevours.

rlhenryjr · 02-22-2009, 07:20 PM

Thanks so much. I forgot to set my thread to be notified.

rlhenryjr · 02-22-2009, 07:22 PM

Thanks so much. I am so grateful for the comments.

01-16-2009, 01:43 PM	#1
rlhenryjr Warrior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: , , USA. Posts: 18 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Help with editing beginning content. Hi everyone. I hope someone will help me with some editing. A friend and I are working on this and cannot seem to get this last part work. Maybe we have been looking at it too long?? I dont think it requires much. I just don't seem to be able to get the word "intensive" , maybe it doestn need "intensive" but the training is "intensive" .Please help edit this to sound better. See below if someone can help us organize these headings better. I cannot post the website link, yet as I dont have enough postings on the forum, but the website is just about finished. All and any help will be appreciated. Thanks so much. ---------------------------------------------------- Wow!! FREE Health Evangelism Training Who wouldn’t want to attend a FREE Health Evangelism Training Seminar? -- Some goals of the seminar are to teach you health principles so that YOU can teach them to others – simple, natural remedies that will effectively show you how to live healthier. "Give us 1 Week intensive to train You by one the most foremost dynamic and powerful speaker who will keep your attention with his Christ-centered perspective on how to live a healthier lifestyle. He uses what he calls the “owner’s manual” (God’s word, the BIBLE) as a basis for finding ways to prevent diseases. He will discuss various diseases, their causes, prevention, and remedies and other topics." --------------------

01-18-2009, 10:52 AM	#2
Patrice Warrior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 2 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Help with editing beginning content. Hi, I'm new here but thought I could help with this one. Below is my take on it. " Participate in one week of our intensive training and you can become a powerful and dynamic speaker, capable of sharing a Christ-centered perspective on healthy living. You will learn how Christ used the word of God to teach on the cause and remedy for disease."

01-19-2009, 10:31 AM	#3
RedPhoenix Mícheál War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Bretain Posts: 43 Thanks: 4 Thanked 15 Times in 10 Posts	Re: Help with editing beginning content. Here is my take on it. FREE Health Training Seminar Want to recover your zest and vitality? Then attended our FREE Health Training Seminar? The Christ-centered perspective to a healthier lifestyle. Learn the principles of Vibrant Health Live longer and be healthier Simple easy to follow natural remedies Improve the quality of your life Diseases their causes, prevention & remedies to treat them Plus other related topics Treat yourself to 1 Week of intensive training by one the foremost experts of his kind who will hold your attention with his dynamic and powerful style. He uses what he calls the “owner’s manual” (God’s word, the BIBLE) as a basis for finding ways to prevent diseases. We help You - You help Others - By teaching them what you've learned Recommend that you include the name of the person giving the free seminar as this will make the offer warmer and far more personal. All the best in your endevours.
	http://www.23rdwave.com/ "Excellence is not an event it's a habit" - Aristotle 384 BC

02-22-2009, 07:20 PM	#4
rlhenryjr Warrior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: , , USA. Posts: 18 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Help with editing beginning content. Thanks so much. I forgot to set my thread to be notified.

02-22-2009, 07:22 PM	#5
rlhenryjr Warrior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: , , USA. Posts: 18 Thanks: 5 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: Help with editing beginning content. Thanks so much. I am so grateful for the comments.