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Need your help with a copywriting case study!

by Sarah Russell
5 replies
Hey all,

Since you all have been so fantastically helpful to me in the past, I'm hoping you might have some good ideas for a case study I'm working on right now. Over on my Common Sense Marketing site, we're tearing apart a minisite I picked up on Flippa and trying to improve its conversion rate. You can see the minisite here:

Get Rid of Blackheads | Blackhead Free for Life

And the case study here:

Case Study 4 – Conversion Rates | Common Sense Marketing

Specifically, I'm looking for help answering the following questions:

1. How can the copy be more engaging?
2. Are there any elements you feel are missing from the copy?
3. What would you change about the copy to increase conversions?

If you want to help out, please include a link to your site in your response and I'll be sure you get credit with a backlink in my next case study results post!

Thanks so so much in advance!!!

Sarah
#case #copywriting #study
  • Profile picture of the author Azarna
    There are quite a few errors, which is always off-putting.

    "a way to keep it my acne under control."

    "I Tested Them For Your:"

    for example
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  • Profile picture of the author Sarah Russell
    Thanks Azarna!
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    Common Sense Marketing | Sarah Russell Writing Services | Getting Started with CPA Ads[/center]
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  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    A quick and easy improvement is simply to flip the headline, from the "So what?" inducing:

    "I Got Rid of My Blackheads For Life!"
    Finally a Quick and Easy Way to Clear Blackhead Acne

    To the more reader focused:

    Finally! A Quick and Easy Way to Clear Blackhead Acne
    "How I beat my blackheads and how you can too..."

    It's a long, long way from perfect, but it's better than the original.

    To strengthen it further you could put the guy's signature at the bottom right of the quote. And if there's methods that your market doesn't want to use or they know don't work, then you can add them in the headline using a "Without [unwanted methods]" line.

    One more thing, and this is a fundamental sales point, at the moment the page is selling the process - getting rid of blackheads - it wants to be selling the results: more confidence, more attractive, etc.

    Hope this helps, it's not much but I've not got the time right now.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

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  • Profile picture of the author seabro
    Hi Sarah,

    As Azarna said, there are lots and lots of grammatical mistakes. I would even go as far to say it looks as if it was written by someone who wasn't a native English speaker. It needs a lot of work.

    And now, instead of criticising, I will try to offer something of benefit.

    Lets start with the headline. Rather than

    "Get rid of blackheads for life"

    give the reader something they can visualize which may will hopefully invoke positive emotion.

    Maybe something like

    'goodbye blackeads, hello beautiful, clear and youthful looking skin'

    or since you offer a money back guarantee

    'ugly blackheads to clear, soft skin in 22 days or your money back'

    or

    'my friends couldn't believe the transformation, ugly blackheads to gorgeous soft skin in just 2 weeks'


    hope this helps,
    seabro
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  • Profile picture of the author Sarah Russell
    Andrew - Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I appreciate it, and I like your headline ideas. I agree that the sales letter could do a better job selling the benefits of clear skin.

    Seabro - Criticize away Like I said, it's a site I bought so I have no emotional stake in the copy as is - just in making it better! I like the wording options you listed - I'm either going to try to work them into the headline or into a call to action (which I feel like is missing as well).

    Thanks guys!
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    Common Sense Marketing | Sarah Russell Writing Services | Getting Started with CPA Ads[/center]
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