Critique My Short Sales Page Please

[nikolaaa]

Hi Warriors,

This is sales page for my new wordpress plugin.

I would appreciate any suggestion:

http://www.automaticblog.net/


Thanks!
Nikola

[jasondinner]

Not bad at first glance, but there are a few things that got my attention.

1. I think your opening sentence should be your superscript leading into your headline...

I think it would flow so much better if your salesletter started like this:

If you’re looking for a hands-free approach to getting unlimited profits from WordPress blogs, then...

"Discover The Lazy Webmasters Way To Making A Fortune From Your Blog In Less Than 3 Minutes!"

2. I think your second sentence after the opening should BE your opening sentence. Read that
as your first sentence, it just makes more sense and flows better to me.

3. Is it really gonna take 3 minutes to discover the lazy webmasters way to making a fortune? Or did you say 3 minutes because you read somewhere that you should do it?

4. Your demo video should either be embedded on the salespage itself or should be in some sort of graybox popup.

In other words, you don't want your prospect leaving the sales page to watch the demo. You want them to stay on that page so they can continue
reading the salesletter after they finish watching the demo.

Also, after you embed the demo video on the salespage, put a big ORDER NOW link underneath it. Doesn't have to be those exact words, but a call
to action right under the demo video would definitely help.

And where you say, "See how simple this is to use," THAT'S where I would
put the demo video and get rid of the Options 1 - 5 section.

There's more, but I'll let other more experienced copywriters chime in.

This is my first copy critique in this forum, so take whatever I say with a grain of salt.

I do not claim to be a professional copywriter, but I do write all of my own copy, and it converts pretty good.

I also make pretty good money as an affiliate through email promotions to
my own list.

I also have been asked several times by other marketers I am friends with
to help them improve their salesletters.

I'm not the only person I write copy for, but that's all I'm gonna say
about that ;P

And all I've been reading for the past 6 months or so has been copywriting books recommended by Gary Halbert.

Hope this helps
Jason

[nikolaaa]

Thanks Guys.

I think it's better to have demo video then to use blog for sales page as on that way I can easy lose visitor if he click on some external link.

[RandyW32]

Demo videos are definitely the best way to go here. Overall it was a very good sales page and I really enjoyed it.

[Loren Woirhaye]

Well, you've automatically disqualified anyone who doesn't
think of themselves as a "webmaster" with your headline.

You also make sweeping generalizations about what most
online marketers do. A mistake here in my opinion.

I think selling your product this way is like hitting a quarter
with a pellet gun at 100 ft. I would go for a broader
appeal, personally.