need feeback on music product

Wage Mills · 02-05-2012, 08:51 AM

need feedback on this

http://sellbeatsformula.com

max5ty · 02-05-2012, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wage Mills

need feedback on this

Sell Beats Formula

I have the fastest internet available...the signal is beamed translucently via 3 satellites orbiting the earth...the signal is then immediately beamed to my hexadomal receiver in nano seconds.

Matter of fact...it's the latest in nano technology.

Your site took so long to load...the Chinese were alerted to the increased load of stellar transmissions...don't worry...we averted a scramble of air power through some quick negotiations.

When your site did load, my initial reaction was, WTF.

Still is.

You need to hire a competent copywriter...

v4victoria · 02-05-2012, 09:20 AM

Just a thought.

If you do paragraphs, it is easier on the eye than reading downwards. Also, anything that stands out as importand put in bold.

Good luck
victoria

RickDuris · 02-05-2012, 10:58 AM

You have an interesting idea, but the execution is awful.

You received similar comments last time you asked.

Again, you have an interesting germ of an idea, just poorly executed. Why don't just hire someone who can help you and really build it out?

- Rick Duris

The Copy Nazi · 02-05-2012, 11:19 AM

Its a music product. A beats product. And yet...there's not a whisper on your page. Do you really think any potential beats producer is going to get excited over this offer?

That is quite possibly the worst salespage I've ever seen.

We interrupt this program to bring you some real entertainment -

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

RealSEOMarket · 02-05-2012, 11:24 AM

Work on the website. pack it in pretty paper and customers will come

max5ty · 02-05-2012, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RealSEOMarket

Work on the website. pack it in pretty paper and customers will come

Can't believe you haven't made $10 off that in a WSO yet.

angiecolee · 02-05-2012, 01:27 PM

There's too many words and there's an odd pause between reading each sentence because of the spacing.

So many words, but none of them really make me interested enough to keep reading. If I were a beatmaker and there were no samples or videos to look at on the home page, I'm gone.

Duncan2222 · 02-06-2012, 07:46 PM

YOur sales page needs a lot of work. as with other poster responses here your idea is a good one. I could bullet point some of the highlights and I would also add some images. A good place to get a product cover box is at fiverr.com. there you can find anyone to design it for $5. Chck out my site here. I wrote this copy. Maybe you should hire a copywriter. Get On American Idol: Secrets Revealed « My Idol Time

ASCW · 02-07-2012, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Copy Nazi

Its a music product. A beats product. And yet...there's not a whisper on your page. Do you really think any potential beats producer is going to get excited over this offer?

That is quite possibly the worst salespage I've ever seen.

We interrupt this program to bring you some real entertainment - YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Thanks Mal, a little Michael Jackson really did the trick.

monkeytrousers · 02-07-2012, 10:00 AM

I guess I don't get it. Is "sell beats" even a keyword? I guess if you have a bunch of beats that need to be sold...

I would go from a more industry angle. Does your product get them in touch with important people in the music industry? Does it tell them how to have dinner with Jay-Z? Or is it just another rehash of The Secret?

If I wanted to break into the music industry, first of all, I'd probably be looking for the keywords "break into the music industry" or something similar. I would most definitely not be looking for positive affirmations. And the fact that I'm more confused by your bonus than excited means that you didn't say anything about your main product that sounds interesting.

Success stories? Testimonials? What is SoundClick and why should I care?

Maybe give away a couple free samples to real writers and let them write something better that you can turn into a real sales page.

Also, headlines, pictures, formatting... an all centered page screams of 90's amateur "About Me" websites. Go to ThemeForest and get a template or something. Or even do it in Wordpress.

As it stands, your product might interest me if you sold it for $5. You need to add another $22 worth of dazzle to the site if you ever expect to do well with it.

Azarna · 02-07-2012, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wage Mills

need feedback on this

Sell Beats Formula

You couldn't even be bothered to add a little please?

miserman · 02-09-2012, 12:36 AM

Your site is good but i found very little content on it. You need to add some videos, pictures and some more information about your lesson. I hope that will work. Good Luck

Carl Juneau · 02-11-2012, 09:16 AM

Hi Wage,

A quick tip I'd give you is to make your first sentence big, bold, and dark red.

That's proven to grab attention and pull your readers into your copy.

And if they can't read... you can't sell 'em.

Good luck!

Carl

TimRobinson · 02-12-2012, 05:12 PM

Hi Wage,

Your sales page does need a lot of work but it's a good start.

I've done a video critique of your sales page where I detail everything that needs to be improved here:

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Cheers, Tim

sethczerepak · 02-12-2012, 06:27 PM

There's really no way to be nice about this and still be honest. It's horrible. No design, no urgency, no imagination.

This is a perfect example of how trying to "save money" by doing it yourself could cost you thousands in lost sales...that is if you ever get a sale which I doubt.

Good news is, you've got a hot product. Hire a copywriter and designer. Stop trying to "save money" by doing it yourself.

Pecan · 02-13-2012, 08:37 AM

Not sure if you're still interested in feedback, but something I noticed is your complete lack of credibility. I think that alone would help tremendously.

Colin Fox · 02-14-2012, 02:28 PM

Woah, this will have people selling their beats in 1 - 2 weeks? Even without any prior experience? You need proofs, vids, testimonials. The bonus, you need to prove that you know the secrets of Jay Z etc. How do you know them... There isn't even a pic of the product... Basically, its as everyone else said. You need a proper website with about us, contact details, proper copy, easy to navigate, simple design, loads of articles and free help guides. The problem is I'm thinking $27 isn't worth it as you haven't shown me value. Always Overdeliver...

02-05-2012, 08:51 AM	#1
Wage Mills HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 182 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 9 Times in 6 Posts	need feeback on music product need feedback on this http://sellbeatsformula.com

02-05-2012, 09:20 AM	#3
v4victoria V4Victoria War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: UK Posts: 58 Thanks: 0 Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts	Re: need feeback on music product Just a thought. If you do paragraphs, it is easier on the eye than reading downwards. Also, anything that stands out as importand put in bold. Good luck victoria
	v4victoria

02-05-2012, 10:58 AM	#4
RickDuris Rick Duris CopyRanger.com War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Laguna Beach, CA Posts: 1,182 Thanks: 513 Thanked 1,437 Times in 519 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: need feeback on music product You have an interesting idea, but the execution is awful. You received similar comments last time you asked. Again, you have an interesting germ of an idea, just poorly executed. Why don't just hire someone who can help you and really build it out? - Rick Duris
	http://www.copyranger.com

02-05-2012, 11:24 AM	#6
RealSEOMarket Banned Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: E404 Posts: 17 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: need feeback on music product Work on the website. pack it in pretty paper and customers will come

02-05-2012, 01:27 PM	#8
angiecolee Redhead Rocker Copywriter Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 144 Thanks: 122 Thanked 90 Times in 57 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: need feeback on music product There's too many words and there's an odd pause between reading each sentence because of the spacing. So many words, but none of them really make me interested enough to keep reading. If I were a beatmaker and there were no samples or videos to look at on the home page, I'm gone.
	Colee Creative website Read the blog On mixing business with pleasure

02-06-2012, 07:46 PM	#9
Duncan2222 MyIdolTime War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 18 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Social Networking	Re: need feeback on music product YOur sales page needs a lot of work. as with other poster responses here your idea is a good one. I could bullet point some of the highlights and I would also add some images. A good place to get a product cover box is at fiverr.com. there you can find anyone to design it for $5. Chck out my site here. I wrote this copy. Maybe you should hire a copywriter. Get On American Idol: Secrets Revealed « My Idol Time

02-07-2012, 10:00 AM	#11
monkeytrousers Reuben Indarra Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 47 Thanks: 3 Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts	Re: need feeback on music product I guess I don't get it. Is "sell beats" even a keyword? I guess if you have a bunch of beats that need to be sold... I would go from a more industry angle. Does your product get them in touch with important people in the music industry? Does it tell them how to have dinner with Jay-Z? Or is it just another rehash of The Secret? If I wanted to break into the music industry, first of all, I'd probably be looking for the keywords "break into the music industry" or something similar. I would most definitely not be looking for positive affirmations. And the fact that I'm more confused by your bonus than excited means that you didn't say anything about your main product that sounds interesting. Success stories? Testimonials? What is SoundClick and why should I care? Maybe give away a couple free samples to real writers and let them write something better that you can turn into a real sales page. Also, headlines, pictures, formatting... an all centered page screams of 90's amateur "About Me" websites. Go to ThemeForest and get a template or something. Or even do it in Wordpress. As it stands, your product might interest me if you sold it for $5. You need to add another $22 worth of dazzle to the site if you ever expect to do well with it.
	Jobs are for Losers

02-09-2012, 12:36 AM	#13
miserman Active Warrior Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: The Great Pakistan Posts: 53 Thanks: 0 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: need feeback on music product Your site is good but i found very little content on it. You need to add some videos, pictures and some more information about your lesson. I hope that will work. Good Luck

02-11-2012, 09:16 AM	#14
Carl Juneau Warrior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 20 Thanks: 0 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts	Re: need feeback on music product Hi Wage, A quick tip I'd give you is to make your first sentence big, bold, and dark red. That's proven to grab attention and pull your readers into your copy. And if they can't read... you can't sell 'em. Good luck! Carl

02-12-2012, 06:27 PM	#16
sethczerepak Ninjapreneur War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Beach Posts: 708 Thanks: 106 Thanked 195 Times in 131 Posts Social Networking	Re: need feeback on music product There's really no way to be nice about this and still be honest. It's horrible. No design, no urgency, no imagination. This is a perfect example of how trying to "save money" by doing it yourself could cost you thousands in lost sales...that is if you ever get a sale which I doubt. Good news is, you've got a hot product. Hire a copywriter and designer. Stop trying to "save money" by doing it yourself.
	Make $29,327.25 in LESS THAN 20 DAYS…as a Copywriter! See Proof from My Personal Paypal Account…

02-13-2012, 08:37 AM	#17
Pecan Warrior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 29 Thanks: 1 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: need feeback on music product Not sure if you're still interested in feedback, but something I noticed is your complete lack of credibility. I think that alone would help tremendously.

02-14-2012, 02:28 PM	#18
Colin Fox Warrior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Scotland Posts: 19 Thanks: 16 Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts Social Networking	Re: need feeback on music product Woah, this will have people selling their beats in 1 - 2 weeks? Even without any prior experience? You need proofs, vids, testimonials. The bonus, you need to prove that you know the secrets of Jay Z etc. How do you know them... There isn't even a pic of the product... Basically, its as everyone else said. You need a proper website with about us, contact details, proper copy, easy to navigate, simple design, loads of articles and free help guides. The problem is I'm thinking $27 isn't worth it as you haven't shown me value. Always Overdeliver...