Help Wanted-Please critique my landing page

[Sam101]

HI FELLOW WARRIORS,
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR INPUTS. I HAVE HIRED A FELLOW WARRIOR TO CHANGE THE COPY, WHICH HE HAS, NOW I AM WAITING FOR THE RESULTS. SO THIS THREAD IS CLOSED!
Hello fellow warriors and copywriting experts,

I have the following landing page, which is not converting very well. Could you please take a moment to review and critique it?
Hazardous Area Instrumentation | Easy training course from Abhisam Software
Basically it is about an e-learning course on Hazardous Area Instrumentation. It is a very niche topic that is needed when designing plants and facilities in large refineries, oil & gas processing, power plants, etc. It is meant for engineers and technicians who design and run these facilities. Over the years, the ones who bought it are pretty pleased with it, however the conversion rate really sucks.
Just about 1%.
Any inputs will be really appreciated

[Loren Woirhaye]

This is so specific I wonder where you are getting traffic?

Perhaps your traffic is not targeted enough.

[John_S]

I had to scroll to read the whole headline. You'll want to create a narrower layout.

You hit the visitor with the price immediately, which probably turns a lot of them off.

Change the headline to be 1) All one color 2) Benefit promising

The video is pointless fluff. And, like the letter, doesn't really address the specific problems. Being intimidated by hazardous areas is almost off topic.

Get some testimonials. People pay big for cure, little for prevention, you'll have to figure out the immediate pain the reader has. And being intimidated by hazardous areas ain't it. Too many will pretend they don't have the problem, you want to point out how common accidents are, the 7 "warning signs" a catastrophic incident will happen within days, etc. (That's the sort of thing you should put in the video.)

Nobody cares how easy or hard it is if they aren't compelled it's something to be concerned about. You think it's a foregone conclusion everyone should be concerned -- but they don't.

[Sam101]

Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye

This is so specific I wonder where you are getting traffic?

Perhaps your traffic is not targeted enough.

Traffic is via search engines and via advertising targeted to the specific market.

[Loren Woirhaye]

A slicker layout might help. A picture of a smiling phone
operator in the corner will probably help to.

I'd say spiff-up the whole packaging, copy too, and
double the price.

[magneticweb]

I'd say put the whole page in a table 600 or 650 pixels wide, and have a header graphic with the theme of industrial safety (you can probably get one done at elance.com or rentacoder.com for a reasonable price). Make the headline all one colour - with your sort of market I'd suggest dark or navy blue.

Put the price further down at the end. Also the video is half on the opening screen and half off. Put that further down as well. The testimonials are good, so keep them near the top. Avoid the royal blue and the red as text colours - they just look amateurish. Keep to a theme of colours, and as I say this market would probably expect darker colours as being more professional looking.

Imagine what the target market's worst nightmare is, and then graphically describe it as something that might happen to them if they don't buy and read your course. What's the price of your course compared to their own safety, and even life? And so on.

Hope this helps, and best of luck.

[WizzyWizh]

I would recommend you to center the page and improve its design a little. Put some boxes over there with testimonials or something and you should get a higher conversion rate.

[vrobert42]

I think the website needs to be more eye catching. Maybe a different color back ground and a colorful header or border. Never know, anything might make a difference.

[Alp Bozkurt]

You may add table of contents to your sales page or a sample chapter that can be downloaded before the purchase.

[Amanda Russell]

For me, there is too much going on in the way of font sizes and colours. It does need to be slicker, and a bit more cohesive. As it is, it doesn't sort of hang together, it is all over the place.
I'm sure you will sort it out, the content is fine...even I understand it and industrial site safety isn't something I know a lot about!

[drewanderson]

The first thing that jumped out at me was that I would have been more engaged in your page if it were centered. There is a ton of info. Maybe put more of it in a camtasia video and tighten it all up a little more.

[johnryan]

The moving images in the camtasia video distracted me from reading the text next to the images. I would put an opt in form above the fold and give something away (free report or case study, free lesson) if they opt in, that way you can follow up with them later if they don't buy today.

[ZelimirGraf]

Well, you`re definitely playing the price game to early in the copy. You haven`t built up any value to that point, so it`s no wonder it`s not converting well. About the design of the page, there`s a cool little phrase that sums is up rather well, it goes a little something like this: "don`t make me think". This is what every website visitor hates. And your landing page isn`t clarion stating the strongest benefits in a glimpse of an eye, and that`s what counts. People are selfish, play on that. Did you research as to how wise is the person from this industry to the problems they encounter using hazardous instrumentation? What I suggest is that you mention every single problem a person can have doing this, and then offer your course as a solution. And do this at the begining of the copy. Use bullets to present the most serious problems, and for all the benefits as well. Hope this helps.

[mr.steve]

Lots of good advice here...

If there's a market for this product, you might have a decent seller.
I'm presuming you have done market research to determine demand.

You definitely need to build up more value for the product. You also
need to show the kinds of problems the prospects face (enter their
inner conversation)... and how you can solve their problems. What
are they gaining by buying your product? Saving time? Saving money?
Both?

The letter really needs a complete overhaul. It would cost you to have
a pro do it, but at $99 a pop you only need sell 50 of them and you
easily cover the costs of having a decent sales letter written, and maybe
get some good marketing advice into the bargain. Depends on how much
you believe in the product and how far you want to take it.

All the best

Steve

[Mark McClure]

Can you get named testimonials from engineers in the big multinationals shown on your main site? Engineers are usually skeptical - by design! And especially so in the market you are targeting.

I find the site layout very distracting with multiple opportunities to click away from the order button.

Is there a guarantee?

[Sam101]

Getting testimonials which can be displayed on the site is difficult. Customers are very happy with the product, but they do not want to let me display their names, etc as they feel it violates corporate guidelines, they do not want to be seen promoting it.

I had a guarantee earlier but unfortunately it only attracted the "free download hunters" who simply downloaded it, went through it and then asked for a refund, giving some silly reasons.
Then, I removed the guarantee later, but it does not seem to have affected the sales, except that now there are no refund requests at all!

[apples]

So is understanding hazardous are instrumentation very tough or easy when I download your training program?


PEter

[Sam101]

Originally Posted by apples

So is understanding hazardous are instrumentation very tough or easy when I download your training program?


PEter

Very easy.
The hard way is to refer to hundreds of books and confusing national codes and standards, which will take a lot of time and money.

[Loren Woirhaye]

So the benefit of your product is it saves your prospect TIME.

Build value in the prospect's time. Confirm how valuable his
time is to him, how important it is to save time and do
things efficiently.

Show with a diagram how your product condenses massive
wasted time combing through many books and sources into
one concise video course which is complete and up-to-date.

Show how the price is small for all the saved time.

[Keeslover]

A lot of the copy is pretty good, but the presentation is the problem:
--The entire site looks like a kid did it, especially the headline.
--The headline itself is hard to read and the capitalization needs to be standardized.
--The testimonials need to be more specific. Anyone can throw up "An engineer...". Does that person have a name? The company name is good, but you need more. I'm always suspicious of generic-looking testimonials because they sound like they were made up. What exactly did it help these folks do? What was the Halliburton engineer looking for that he found in the course? Can we get some examples of what the course covers in the testimonials?
--Build value before you give a price.

[Sam101]

Thank You all for your inputs. I have already taken all the suggestions here into account and will be changing the copy, so I am closing this thread.

[StevenSaliba]

I would put all the solutions that you are offering at the top of the page. Then I would say you could get all of this for only $99. I think it is better to talk more about what the visitor is going to get by purchasing your product before you say only $99.

[fahadabrarkhan]

Good work. But the color needs to be changed and I recommend using Times New Roman font to make the copy look user friendly. Align the video to the center, you can do that by using html coding using the align center code.

[Adaptive]

Hi Sam,

I suggest you google for "hazmat training video" and see what ideas you can swipe from other sellers in your same niche.

Regards,
Allen