Confessions of a Non-Copywriter (Critics Wanted)

[ravijayagopal]

Ok, I'm not a copywriter. And I'm not even a great marketer.

I'm just the best at what I do - which is develop remarkable software.

And I have tried my best to write my own copy. I made some changes based on some feedback, and suddenly, it is beginning to convert extremely well.

I will need to sell some more before I can pay for getting copy written for me, so I would really appreciate it if you can critique my sales page at...

Membership Software For WordPress Blogs And Web Sites

Thanks much!

- Ravi Jayagopal

[Scott Murdaugh]

I think the product itself looks great... And a great product can sell (though not as well) without great copy.

I don't like the approach you're taking with it though. The whole "transform your current blog into a membership site."

Most people have no desire to do that. Blogs serve a purpose, and they're a marketing tool in their own right. Blogs are generally designed to be free content.

You aren't selling a software to transform a blog into a membership site. You're selling a membership site builder that integrates seamlessly with Wordpress, is easy to use, and has features that no one else can compete with.

The product looks cool. I'd change the copy to attract people who are actively running or considering running membership sites, that's a huge market on its own, and target them with your copy.

Sell them on all of the features and the benefits you can offer over anything else on the market.

Do that and I'm sure it'll sell just fine.

-Scott

[wconsultation]

Don't worry about the copy. If you have a great product to sell, I am sure people won't even look at the quality of your sales copy.

[Scott Murdaugh]

Don't worry about the copy. If you have a great product to sell, I am sure people won't even look at the quality of your sales copy.

That's not true at all.

Great products need great copy most of all. Especially this product.

There are free membership site scripts on the market. There are well known membership site scripts that people use and recommend at lower price points.

On a product like this, the copy needs separate the product from the competition. It needs to build enough value to justify the high price tag. People need to understand how all of the features can benefit them...

And some of the most likely buyers for this script are those that already have run membership sites. They need to be sold on why this is better than what they are currently using.

Even with the free trial option, people still have to install the script and set up the sites. That takes time and work... They need to be sold on why they should even take the time to try it.

Saying that the copy doesn't matter or won't have an impact on conversions is just wrong.

And not maximizing the value of your traffic by increasing conversion rates is just leaving money on the table.

[ravijayagopal]

Scott,

Really appreciate the feedback.

So do you think it makes sense to highlight the "features" more than the "benefits"?

One of my biggest dilemma's, is that being in the IM-Tech niche, my target customers are both partly technical and marketing-savvy.

So do I just assume that people who are looking at this already know the benefits of starting a membership, and just tell them why my software is better than the rest?

Or do I NOT make that assumption, first tell them why a membership site is a great revenue model, and THEN tell them how easy it is to convert their existing blog into a membership site (which is the approach I am trying currently)?

- Ravi

[MikeHumphreys]

Originally Posted by wconsultation

Don't worry about the copy. If you have a great product to sell, I am sure people won't even look at the quality of your sales copy.

Not necessarily. If the copy doesn't tell them effectively why it's a great product than it won't produce as much sales as it could. Most people will not struggle through a sales letter just to get to the product benefits and special offer.

Ravi, I'd suggest at least getting a low(er) cost copywriter (check the WSO for some options) to rewrite your sales letter as there's plenty of spots where it needs improving.

Plan on spending on probably up to $500 for that service. Track your conversion rates and if needed, then hire a more experienced (and probably more expensive) copywriter to write a new sales letter for you. That would probably be a $2-10K investment depending on who you hired.

In terms of your current sales letter, here are a few tips to help you in the short-term:

1) The copy for your product price is confusing around the order button. Don't talk about the price per site -- give them clearly the total one-time price. They might not have 3 sites they want to use it on.

2) Kill the headline near the top of the page that refers to a recession. Not everyone is feeling the effects of the U.S. -- they may be outside of the U.S. or in an industry that hasn't been hurt by the recession. Break the 2nd half of your main headline off and tweak it so it's a stand-alone minor headline to followthe main one.

3) Kill the Frank Kern photo and reference to his skills as a marketer. It's not relevant to your product, so keep your copy focused on your product and your prospect. The copy about guru monthly programs is fine and could be expanded. Telling the prospect how much you've paid Kern in 2008 is not.

Hope that helps,

Mike

[ravijayagopal]

I must say that I kind of mis-stated my thoughts earlier - my current copy on my site is converting "extremely well" COMPARED TO what it was converting before.

But it is still hovering around the 2% mark. Which is pathetic, I think, for a product as powerful and useful as this.

So, obviously, my copy is not connecting. Or it could be the price. Not sure.

[Scott Murdaugh]

One of my biggest dilemma's, is that being in the IM-Tech niche, my target customers are both partly technical and marketing-savvy.

So do I just assume that people who are looking at this already know the benefits of starting a membership, and just tell them why my software is better than the rest?

I wouldn't spend too much time selling people on the concept of a membership site, but I would have a couple of paragraphs dedicated to it. Something like...

"You probably already know that membership sites are hands down the easiest way to create residual income streams on the internet, what you probably don't know yet is how quick and easy you can set up a new membership site with...."

And then go into the details about your product.

You need to list the features and the benefits they provide...

You have a built in affiliate management system. You have a built in email manager. You can drip feed content, lock content from members who unsubscribe. You have a TON of great features, that translate into great benefits for the customers...

You make it easy to encourage affiliates to promote, which translates into money. It's easy to use, which translates into time and money.

There are a ton of benefits associated with the features, and I'd say the copy needs to explain all of them clearly.

Also, I'm not a big fan of the 30 day trial. I'm not sure how you have the billing set up, but if the software just stops working and prompts for a purchase after 30 days I think you'll lose sales.

The fact is, there's a large group of people who can see the benefits of this software, who will download the 30 day trial, not do anything with it, and when it's time to pay they'll talk themselves out of it, because they haven't used it anyway.

Some may disagree with me on that, and ultimately only testing would tell, but that's my gut feeling.

Hope that helps.

-Scott

[Woody C]

I must say that I have studied quite a few aspects of internet marketing for over a year now and some...ok, a lot of the words within your copy were gibberish/jargon words that I did not understand.

So I ask, is the potential prospect someone like me (interenet marketer/info-product creator) that is looking for software to turn their blog into a membership site or a software engineer that is trying to get into internet marketing?

I believe your copy speaks to the latter.

[InternetMarketingCenter]

If you're not sure if your copy or your price or your headline or ANY aspect of your site is behind slow conversions, it's time to test one element at a time. And then do it again.

[ravijayagopal]

Scott,

Thanks for the incredible feedback! I will reply to your PM by PM.

>>I'm not sure how you have the billing set up, but if the software just stops working

No, it won't stop working. It's almost like an honor system. They won't get further support or upgrades if they don't pay after the 30 days. Also, they will be in violation of the terms, but we don't do anything to make the software stop working.

You make great points. I have about 17 different versions of my sales page that actually cover everything you just said. Probably not all in the same version ;-)

Thanks again!

- Ravi

[colmodwyer]

Ravi,

WHY would I want to launch my own membership site?

You need to mention the BENEFIT front and center.

Also, tighten the white table with your body copy to 600px.

Tighten up your header image too, it takes up a lot of real estate, is distracting and doesn't do any selling for you.

Colm

[ravijayagopal]

Scott,

See Colm's post. This is the EXACT dilemma I was talking about.

Some people want to be sold on WHY they need a membership site.

Some people hate it when I tell them why, and would rather just get into the HOW.

I even tried a "Click here if you are not sure WHY you need a membership site" that expanded the copy, but I removed it at some point, as I thought it was confusing to people (again, an assumption made because the conversions didn't get better). And because a few people said that the copy dragged on too long.

But if I make it shorter, I will probably end up not addressing either the WHY or the HOW.

So, how do you deal with this "both sides of the coin" dilemma?

That's the million dollar question, I guess ;-)

- Ravi Jayagopal

[Scott Murdaugh]

Ravi,

Some people will need to be sold on "why" membership sites work. That's a given. At the same time, most people in the market already know why they work... Residual income...

That's why I suggested a couple of paragraphs on "selling the concept" and then focus the page on selling your solution... Because I think your solution is a great one.

I would deal with the "both sides of the coin" dilemma by first explaining the benefits of a membership site in general... But in my honest opinion we need to be focusing on why you provide a better solution than anyone else with your software.

It's no secret that membership sites do well. If you target people who don't realize this, it's going to be a tough sell on why they should dish out $xxx on your software...

If you focus on people who already know where the money is, they have the money to spend, and they can see the value... These are the customers you want, those with money in hand.

There are people looking at your sales page right now, who already own successful membership sites, who make plenty of money, but don't see the value in your solution...

A good copywriter can provide that value.

Another thing... The "honor system" doesn't work online. People don't care about you or your product, people care about themselves, it's been true for 5,000 years and it's not changing anytime soon.

I'll leave it at that... If you feel like getting in touch with me I'm happy to share some ideas.

-Scott

[colmodwyer]

Ravi you never, ever want to assume.

Say I DO know that a membership site means residual income because I have a few membership sites myself - and I'm making $2,000/month or whatever - I'll still want to know if your product can offer me more... And I shouldn't have to read half way down the page to find that out...

"The 9 Minute Membership Site!"
How To Blah - Residual Income - Blah - $3,000/month -
etc - In 9 Minutes 34 Seconds - And So Forth...

That's all there is to it.

You certainly won't turn off those who already know what a membership site is. You will make them salivate more.

Colm

[mr.steve]

Ravi

Some good comments and advice here.

The product looks very good, and the way to go is
probably pitch it at those who already know
the benefits of running a membership site.
Then sell them on exactly how your product
can help them. At the moment the sales letter
doesn't have any real focus.

Take on board some of the advice here and rewrite
the letter to make a much stronger pitch. You'll
probably do very well...

Cheers and good luck

Steve

[ravijayagopal]

Ok, I have rewritten a lot of the copy.

Pls take another look and let me know what you think.

Appreciate your time: Membership Software For WordPress Blogs And Web Sites

- Ravi