Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship...

DavidG · 01-16-2013, 07:28 PM

Sometimes telling the truth is the best story you have.

Student Sends Great Cover Letter For Internship At Bank, And It's Now Going Viral On Wall Street - Business Insider

I think some of you will find this interesting... even though he tells it like it is, I do see a few "copy techniques" which sold him well...

For example - the Merrill Lynch proof.

Alex Cohen · 01-16-2013, 08:38 PM

In Joe Sugarman's book "Triggers" he writes that honesty can be an effective
persuasion strategy.

What better way to demonstrate honesty than to make a damaging admission?

Alex

ERPLeadsWriter · 01-16-2013, 09:00 PM

Overall it is a wonderful piece and a nice relief from the trend of presenting letters inflated with credentials. (It doesn't help when a lot of How-To guides always show them fat ones as samples.)

Only one part worries me though:

Quote:

I have no qualms fetching coffee, shining shoes, or picking up laundry, and will work for next to nothing.

This actually made me laugh too but do you guys think this portion might offend a little more than the rest of the letter?

Marc Rodill · 01-17-2013, 12:31 AM

The cool part is he has no "unbelievable" special skills. Just the believable kind. And to answer your question, ERP, I don't think it's offensive.

In fact, I think the guy is spot on. The higher up you climb the dollars per hour "ladder", the less easy it is to rationalize working for minimum wage. The value of your time doesn't allow it.

Grabbing the coffee, shining your shoes, picking up the laundry, all essentially minimum wage jobs. Typically farmed out to interns, who do it for free. The guy has his target market down.

Plus, what big hot shot CEO type doesn't love to get his shoes shined? In the book Full Engagement one of these A-type personality guys got it done everyday as break for relaxation.

Marc

Ross Bowring · 01-17-2013, 05:34 AM

Good, blunt, honest writing.

I like it because it's short and punchy.

Imagine how long and less punchy it would be in the hands of lots of copywriters. :-)

--- Ross

laurencewins · 01-17-2013, 05:54 AM

I have been an employer before and I would certainly at least interview him.

misterme · 01-17-2013, 10:32 AM

Zig when others zag.

UKCopyKing · 02-03-2013, 03:17 PM

This is great. It's believable, credible and almost instantly builds trust and rapport.

The purple cow effect.

Rezbi · 02-03-2013, 03:23 PM

When I was a kid, in my 20s, I used to go into interviews with nothing but enthusiasm.

I always told the truth, which was - I don't know that, but I how how to find out.

It usually got me the job.

I moved around a lot because I could never find the one job I wanted to stay in for the rest of my life. So I had a lot of practice with that.

If only there was a full time job teaching self defence around my way.

01-16-2013, 07:28 PM	#1
DavidG HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 394 Thanks: 157 Thanked 126 Times in 89 Posts Contact Info	Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... Sometimes telling the truth is the best story you have. Student Sends Great Cover Letter For Internship At Bank, And It's Now Going Viral On Wall Street - Business Insider I think some of you will find this interesting... even though he tells it like it is, I do see a few "copy techniques" which sold him well... For example - the Merrill Lynch proof.

01-16-2013, 08:38 PM	#2
Alex Cohen Sales Copy Coach War Room Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,363 Thanks: 102 Thanked 784 Times in 470 Posts Contact Info	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... In Joe Sugarman's book "Triggers" he writes that honesty can be an effective persuasion strategy. What better way to demonstrate honesty than to make a damaging admission? Alex

01-17-2013, 12:31 AM	#4
Marc Rodill Secret Weapon War Room Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Cape Coral Posts: 243 Thanks: 376 Thanked 53 Times in 40 Posts Contact Info	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... The cool part is he has no "unbelievable" special skills. Just the believable kind. And to answer your question, ERP, I don't think it's offensive. In fact, I think the guy is spot on. The higher up you climb the dollars per hour "ladder", the less easy it is to rationalize working for minimum wage. The value of your time doesn't allow it. Grabbing the coffee, shining your shoes, picking up the laundry, all essentially minimum wage jobs. Typically farmed out to interns, who do it for free. The guy has his target market down. Plus, what big hot shot CEO type doesn't love to get his shoes shined? In the book Full Engagement one of these A-type personality guys got it done everyday as break for relaxation. Marc
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01-17-2013, 05:34 AM	#5
Ross Bowring Cash Creating Copywriter War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Philadelphia, USA Posts: 781 Thanks: 725 Thanked 736 Times in 256 Posts Social Networking	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... Good, blunt, honest writing. I like it because it's short and punchy. Imagine how long and less punchy it would be in the hands of lots of copywriters. :-) --- Ross
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01-17-2013, 05:54 AM	#6
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,631 Thanks: 431 Thanked 487 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... I have been an employer before and I would certainly at least interview him.
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01-17-2013, 10:32 AM	#7
misterme HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: NYC Posts: 454 Thanks: 82 Thanked 287 Times in 181 Posts	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... Zig when others zag.

02-03-2013, 03:17 PM	#8
UKCopyKing Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Bedfordshire, UK Posts: 15 Thanks: 8 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... This is great. It's believable, credible and almost instantly builds trust and rapport. The purple cow effect.

02-03-2013, 03:23 PM	#9
Rezbi Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lancashire, United Kingdom. Posts: 1,986 Thanks: 383 Thanked 402 Times in 305 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Blunt letter kid sends for wall street internship... When I was a kid, in my 20s, I used to go into interviews with nothing but enthusiasm. I always told the truth, which was - I don't know that, but I how how to find out. It usually got me the job. I moved around a lot because I could never find the one job I wanted to stay in for the rest of my life. So I had a lot of practice with that. If only there was a full time job teaching self defence around my way.