Which Headline works best...in your opinion?

laurencewins · 02-14-2013, 01:24 PM

I appreciate and value the opinions of many of the good people in here and so I am asking for your opinions on a new headline for my website.

I have provided 6 options.
My 2 main areas of business are writing and proofreading.

If you have a different idea, I am more than happy to hear it, either in here or via PM.

You can choose more than 1 idea if you wish and I would be grateful for any feedback.

Thank you all in advance.

Ephrils · 02-14-2013, 01:57 PM

I chose:

Never write another word again and still make money!
Reduce refund rates by over 90% just by having me fix your spelling & grammar!

Because these tell me what I can benefit from if I keep reading.

That's a really emotional response, but "What's in it for me?" is often the first question people ask and I'm no different.

laurencewins · 02-14-2013, 01:59 PM

Thanks for the feedback.

When I get enough I will announce which one I will use.

BudaBrit · 02-14-2013, 11:42 PM

I may be neither your target audience nor an experienced copywriter

but the last one is the only one that actually interests me.

I've taken aboard the 4 U's when it comes to headlines.

urgent, unique, ultra-specific and useful.

Grade your headline 1-4 on each of these and aim to get a 3 or 4 in 3 of the 4.

So "Reduce refund rates by over 90% just by having me fix your spelling & grammar!"

always beats: "Do you want to reduce your refund rate?"

laurencewins · 02-15-2013, 12:57 AM

Thanks very much for your feedback.

BudaBrit · 02-15-2013, 04:17 AM

That was from The Copywriter's Handbook by Robert W. Bly, by the way

fated82 · 02-15-2013, 05:21 AM

"Never write another word again and still make money!"

This is by far the best of all the headlines propose. It provides a reason for people to read the copy. Your headline should combine curiosity and benefits. This is by far the only one that had both.

You may want to modify the winning headline to get the most compelling one you could. Though most choose the above headline, it still has room for improvement

laurencewins · 02-15-2013, 05:27 AM

Other suggestions then: "Don't write another word and still make money!"
OR "Never write again but still make money!"

Tim Bazley · 02-15-2013, 06:30 AM

Personally I'd combine 4 and 5 to make...

"Who Else Wants To Stop Writing And Still Make Money"

laurencewins · 02-15-2013, 07:41 AM

Thanks for that idea Tim.

laurencewins · 02-16-2013, 07:56 AM

Who else would carer to share their opinion??

sonas · 02-16-2013, 08:18 AM

Perhaps something along the lines of 'We write, You Profit!' ?

laurencewins · 02-16-2013, 08:33 AM

I am one person but it is interesting...short and to the point. Thank you.

View Poll Results: Which new Headline should I use for my website?
Do you HATE Writing? Let me TRANSFORM your business!	4	28.57%
Do you want to reduce your refund rate?	0	0%
Do you want to increase sales?	0	0%
Never write another word again and still make money!	9	64.29%
Who else wants to stop writing content but still earn money?	0	0%
Reduce refund rates by over 90% just by having me fix your spelling & grammar!	4	28.57%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 14. You may not vote on this poll

02-14-2013, 01:24 PM	#1
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Which Headline works best...in your opinion? I appreciate and value the opinions of many of the good people in here and so I am asking for your opinions on a new headline for my website. I have provided 6 options. My 2 main areas of business are writing and proofreading. If you have a different idea, I am more than happy to hear it, either in here or via PM. You can choose more than 1 idea if you wish and I would be grateful for any feedback. Thank you all in advance.
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.

02-14-2013, 01:57 PM	#2
Ephrils Boogie Love War Room Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: , , . Posts: 592 Blog Entries: 3 Thanks: 99 Thanked 43 Times in 35 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? I chose: Never write another word again and still make money! Reduce refund rates by over 90% just by having me fix your spelling & grammar! Because these tell me what I can benefit from if I keep reading. That's a really emotional response, but "What's in it for me?" is often the first question people ask and I'm no different.
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02-14-2013, 01:59 PM	#3
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Thanks for the feedback. When I get enough I will announce which one I will use.
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.

02-14-2013, 11:42 PM	#4
BudaBrit Content Creator Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Budapest Posts: 307 Thanks: 114 Thanked 69 Times in 48 Posts	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? I may be neither your target audience nor an experienced copywriter but the last one is the only one that actually interests me. I've taken aboard the 4 U's when it comes to headlines. urgent, unique, ultra-specific and useful. Grade your headline 1-4 on each of these and aim to get a 3 or 4 in 3 of the 4. So "Reduce refund rates by over 90% just by having me fix your spelling & grammar!" always beats: "Do you want to reduce your refund rate?"
	Stom Solutions - Hand Written Content That Builds Your Audience's Trust

02-15-2013, 12:57 AM	#5
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Thanks very much for your feedback.
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.

02-15-2013, 04:17 AM	#6
BudaBrit Content Creator Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Budapest Posts: 307 Thanks: 114 Thanked 69 Times in 48 Posts	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? That was from The Copywriter's Handbook by Robert W. Bly, by the way
	Stom Solutions - Hand Written Content That Builds Your Audience's Trust

02-15-2013, 05:21 AM	#7
fated82 Business Manager War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,080 Thanks: 53 Thanked 110 Times in 78 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? "Never write another word again and still make money!" This is by far the best of all the headlines propose. It provides a reason for people to read the copy. Your headline should combine curiosity and benefits. This is by far the only one that had both. You may want to modify the winning headline to get the most compelling one you could. Though most choose the above headline, it still has room for improvement
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02-15-2013, 05:27 AM	#8
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Other suggestions then: "Don't write another word and still make money!" OR "Never write again but still make money!"
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.

02-15-2013, 06:30 AM	#9
Tim Bazley Active Warrior Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Sussex UK Posts: 51 Thanks: 26 Thanked 9 Times in 9 Posts	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Personally I'd combine 4 and 5 to make... "Who Else Wants To Stop Writing And Still Make Money"
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02-15-2013, 07:41 AM	#10
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Thanks for that idea Tim.
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.

02-16-2013, 07:56 AM	#11
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Who else would carer to share their opinion??
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.

02-16-2013, 08:18 AM	#12
sonas Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 72 Thanks: 3 Thanked 15 Times in 13 Posts	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? Perhaps something along the lines of 'We write, You Profit!' ?

02-16-2013, 08:33 AM	#13
laurencewins Writer & Proofreader War Room Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,638 Thanks: 432 Thanked 488 Times in 386 Posts Social Networking	Re: Which Headline works best...in your opinion? I am one person but it is interesting...short and to the point. Thank you.
	Laurence The only Writer and Proofreader you'll ever need. Ask for a copy of my FREE report on how to reduce your refund rates by as much as 90%.