SalesPage: How Can I Write a "Story" Without Lying?

[The Oilman]

If you listen to any guru, you'll find that most of them recommend stating a STORY that begins with a character (you, the writer) who encounters a problem that they overcome with a solution (your product).


I want to do this, very bad -- but I dont want to lie

How can it be done?

And -- if it can't be done -- are there any copywriting tricks that are just as potent?

[Jeremy Kelsall]

Yeah, 2 words...

"imagine this"

[Quentin]

Simple just tell your story and don't lie.

Quentin

[danemorgan]

Depends on what you mean by story and what you mean by lie.

If you've never been in the military and start your sales letter off with a story about your tour in Iraq, you're lying.

On the other hand, if you know enough about Iraq and what goes on there, even through second hand information, you can tell a story about a fictional occurance based on real possibilities, you're telling a story.

Just don't claim it's YOUR story. Like was already said, this can be done easily enough by starting with something like "just imagine..." or even, "let me share a story..."

[Adaptive]

If it's true that someone else had a problem and found a solution, you can tell that person's story. For example: The Gary Halbert Letter has an ad that was written by Gary Halbert, but his name is not mentioned in the ad; it's all about the inventor, the problem solved by the inventor, and the company with the rights to the invention.

Regards,
Allen

[Trader54]

You write it like that great Wall Street Journal promo letter. If you haven't seen or heard of it I'm sure you could google it.

[The Oilman]

Thanks guys

[Adaptive]

Here's the WSJ ad: DennyHatch.com • "The Billion Dollar Letter"
and its apparent inspiration: A Forerunner to the Wall Street Journal’s “Two Young Men” Ad Tomasulo

Regards,
Allen

[Dennis Gaskill]

I've used "Imagine this..." like Jeremy mentioned to good effect before.

[Floyd Fisher]

Here's a classic salesletter, where the story is a lie.

Wife caught cheating Internet Marketing and Strategies

Read through it, and see how it's handled, so you get an idea about how to do this right.

[Mark Riddle]

Bam the whole room shook, and I barely knew whether I should run or I should hide.

My pulse was racing faster and faster, It was all becoming somewhat of a blur.

My mind ran through a thousand different things all at once, yet all in slow motion, all at the same time.

By the early morning hours on September 13th Most of the island was under water or blown away.

These are the thoughts of those who witnessed Hurricane Ike hit Galveston Island, the most intense storm of the season.




Describe the perspective of the story as its told.





Mark Riddle

[rapidscc]

Nice one Net :-)

I thought that "Imagine this" is ok enough, but after reading your example of first person experience, I realized it's better.

[artwebster]

Has nobody here heard of the third person perspective?

Isn't that, and a real situation, all you need?

[Easy Cash]

If you write the truth - it will convert much better for you.

If you have been in the shoes of your potential customer and have found the solution - then you are the best type of salesperson as you know exactly what they are going through.

People know when they are reading lies - it is the true stories that are the successful convertors.

[David Raybould]

Hey Oilman,

When writing copy you don't
need to break your neck trying
to fit a bestseller-style story
in there.

Just take pointers from your
own situation, and expand on the
parts which will resonate with
the reader.

You can also cover a lot of the
story telling ground by getting
the prospect to imagine their
life once they buy your product.
If you can paint a pretty picture
and get them to put themselves
in it, you're golden.

Good luck

-David Raybould

[edman]

Mr x said...

According too...

I've read, heard seen...

Imagine this...

What would happen if....?

Originally Posted by The Oilman

If you listen to any guru, you'll find that most of them recommend stating a STORY that begins with a character (you, the writer) who encounters a problem that they overcome with a solution (your product).


I want to do this, very bad -- but I dont want to lie

How can it be done?

And -- if it can't be done -- are there any copywriting tricks that are just as potent?

[bgmacaw]

Is Mr. Whipple lying about the Charmin Bathroom Tissue?

YouTube - Charmin TV Commercial

Did Chuck Norris go after these guys?

YouTube - mountain dew chuck norris commercial

[waken]

Well, honesty is the best policy.

If you story is genuine and the solution being offered is real, I don't see what difficulty that you've if it's not by just telling from the heart.

[Adaptive]

Did Chuck Norris go after these guys?

Of course, they were the guards at the secret lair of the Charmin-squeezing lady. I can't wait for the sequel.

Regards,
Allen

[The Oilman]

For those who said "tell the truth":

I'd love to tell the truth. Unfortunately I dont have a great story for each niche I want to be in.

[The Oilman]

To everyone:

I am not talking about lying as an advertisment -- as in those youtube vidoes.. but I am talking about creating the character who tells the story. The guy who says

From the Desk of : Clyde Biggins

Dear Friend,

I was once in your shoes..

Then I struggled with this..

Then I resolved this...


I dont want to make up that person.

But I guess I will take a 3rd person or craft it in a differnet way. Looking at all your links now. Thanks

[ehicks727]

Use NLP metaphor.... "that reminds me of a story I heard once..." Tell a story with a "moral" and don't explain it. It lets their unconscious work on it and makes them suggestible to whatever else you're going to say.

[ebizman87]

Watch any TV programs and observe any positive values that you can learn and link with your products. Then write down your learning in a STORY form

Example: American Idol
What'll happen to those SINGERS right after they sing a song?
They'll be teared down and criticized by those so called experts. In the end most of the singers will be kicked out of the competition. Can you imagine how humiliated and frustrated will be the singers?Of course the experts will advice them "Keep Trying" or "Don't give up"

Learning: Never ever give up in life till you find your success ladder

How To Relate It With Your Products:
"I just watched one of the episode of The American Idol TV program and I've to say that "I'm super lucky". That's because I'm not the guy WHO GOT TEARED down unmercifully by those expert judges for performing poorly and lack of motivation. And perhaps you too might have problems motivating yourself to perform excellently in (**any actions that your prospects do***).(Explain how your products can help them stay motivated and avoid making mistakes)

My 2 c

[JonStein]

Very good thread people..
Unfortunately, the quandary you find yourself in is one many marketers approach in various ways.

It was once said, "the bigger the lie the more believable"

Take for instance the guy who claims he received $87 Million in free Google ads and he subsequently made $300 million dollars.
He will show you how just putting a small piece of code in your webpage will do the same for you (all for only $9.97).

Now to the average person this just screams BS, yet hundreds of people jumped on this bandwagon and bought his "lie". Overall, the general public has become desensitized to the nonsense and ridiculous claims made by most of these marketers.

Using half-truths and hiding what your product is will only lose you sales in the long run. (I personally know several IM 'gurus' who tell you to lie in your sales letter.)

The truth is there is no 'secret' to making money online, you can not make $1,537.02 in 6 hours online and you will not lose 10 lbs overnight. Yet people will not believe the true facts.

Too many IM have promulgated the lies to make the sale. In reality, an honest approach and telling your customers what it is you are selling, what they can expect from your product and how your product can help them will give you more quality, more credibility and long term sales.

However, if you choose to use lies, half-truths and hidden stories to make your sale, I doubt you are in this for the long term.

[edman]

Take for example the TV adverts.. they exaggerate the truth just to get the point across, and we all know they don't do exactly that but it grabs your attention.

You don't have to lie, just bring out the benefit of your product, and make it a big deal, that's what it is all about.

One may say they made $10000 while sleeping... is this possible? oh yea it is, but what you didn't know is about the long hours they put in to get the ball rolling, and when they went to sleep their system continued to make money for them...

What I'm saying is that, you don't have to lie, just make a big deal about the true benefit of your product, and slowly break that down in your letter.

Before you created your product, I imagine you created it to solve a problem, to fill in a void... Make a big deal about that inspiration so that people can stop to pay attention. Once you've got their attention, then tell them more about the product and how they can benefit from it... If the product will solve their problem , they will buy.

Create scenarios, test them out to create real case studies... Give others to try it things like that.

Eventually you will have your story, and a good one too.

Cheers

[The Oilman]

Thanks Edman

I don't mind EXAGGERATING at ALL to create a point.

But to create a fictional persona --- I feel bad about doing that. The whole "Dear friend" thing that is so prevalant in sales pages.

I hear its great to create a personal connection, but I have a hard time having a character that has a fictional story

I dont mind using a pen name though.. and a 3rd person story to make points.

As long as I do it 3rd person and sound authoritative, it shouild work.

Tony Robbins, for example, isn't a psychologist .. yet he helps tons of people and makes tons of money.

[Mark Riddle]

Oilman,

It can be very frustrating to be asking yourself on how to write effective copy.

So much of what we read on the net talks about writing your package from the stand point of the author, and relating their experience and knowledge.

But let me be quite clear.

One size fits all doesn't work for underwear and it doesn't work for creating promotional letters.

Listen, I've heard all the hype from the "Master Copywriters" saying to always hide behind the copy and create a character that your customers will relate to.

Well, that's trying to be one size fits all underwear, it simply isn't true.

Until you know the wants, needs and desires of your market, there is no way to know who they will listen to.

Consider this, you are creating a product that will change how small business find and retain their clients.

Does it always have to be from the perspective of another business owner?

No of course not.

The Voice and Style of your letter has to match the solution you are providing.

Finding the voice that will match your product can is simple when you know who you are writing to.

Websites have a wide range of audiences and solutions to problems.

It IS important who is talking to them.

Yes indeed, that is one of the crucial parts of creating a your project.

Finding the voice for your letter could be from the perspective of the someone who has gone through the situation, but it doesn't have to be.

Look, its a website, you are publishing a website talking about a specific product or service.

The voice of the publisher is a valid honest voice that you never have to worry about lying to just make a buck.

Isn't that really who you are?

As a publisher of great products, services and information, you can reach inside and tell the reader about what the product does, how it does it, and why people just like them have found it to be the solution to the problems that just a short while ago, they too saw no way out, until you found the solution.

Well that's a lot of words to say this;

The more honesty and transparency you show to your reader, the more they will understand that you are talking to them one - on - one.



Mark Riddle

[mr.schutz]

Just be true to what you are writing, no more, no less.

[honestbizpro]

You can always find the best story and share how you relate to it personally.

[drmani]

Originally Posted by The Oilman

I want to do this, very bad -- but I dont want to lie

How can it be done?

Preface it with:

"This whole thing is an IMAGINARY story. None of it is true.
But read it anyway - it's fun... and there's a powerful
lesson in it for you!"

Read:

Seth Godin's "All Marketers Are Liars!" for some more
interesting perspective.

All success
Dr.Mani

[Christa_Regalado]

Well if you don't have a good story to tell, I think you have to do it third person style. If there's no alternative, just make sure that your "lies" are not overly embellished by impossible end goals.

[John_S]

Speaking of Godin, Pick anything--the calculus of change has a good story -- with a "moral."

Doing nothing is not an option.

Good for getting someone to act towards the end of your letter. One of your biggest hurdles is to overcome inertia -- the prospect has a very safe option to do nothing.

Doing nothing is very hard to be blamed for. Every other decision opens up the possibility of being fired, blamed, seen as a failure, etc. Understand that.

[Ashley Wright]

Just tell the truth!! honesty is the best policy! remember there is nothing wrong with over exaggerating though!

[Ken Strong]

Originally Posted by wrighty10

Just tell the truth!! honesty is the best policy! remember there is nothing wrong with over exaggerating though!

?

.........

[bminor]

If you have reservations to tell a story in "I form" which you haven't really experienced and also don't want to create a fictional 3rd person (the "Dear friend"), how about looking for people who really used and benefitted from the product you want to sell?
Ask them for their story and for permission to use it on your sales page.
Then link yourself to them somehow and you have your true and credible story.

Klaus