They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I...

Scott Murdaugh · 05-31-2009, 12:22 PM

Is it just me, or is that headline the most swiped headline on the planet?

I've seen it used in at least like 15 sales letters lately, and usually pretty badly.

Yeah, it worked to sell piano lessons, and was great at the time... But I can think of very few products where this would still be effective.

I know I'm a jaded copywriter and I spend the majority of my life reading/writing ads, but I've got a hunch that this one has run it's course.

A lot of old/common stuff is still good, like the "IF.... THEN" headline, that can be effective in certain situations.

Anyone else have an over used headline that makes you cringe when you see it?

Peace,

-Scott

icering87 · 05-31-2009, 12:48 PM

I'm immune to it, If I see it it has a negative effect on me, because I'm like you...I'm in the copywriting world. It might have some effect in the bowling market or something small and out the way, but for anything internet marketing I question it's effectiveness and it's just stupid to use it for a copywriting product.

Hesster · 05-31-2009, 01:58 PM

I think that even a newb copywriter in training like myself has seen the piano lesson headline so many times and butchered in so many ways it just rolls right off. But keep in mind that except for copywriting products, for the most part copywriters aren't the target market. Who knows? Maybe it still works on people who don't study ads every day.

Maybe it converts better than anything else the person has tried. But yeah, for a copywriting product, nothing screams 'I have nothing original to offer' like a recycled headline.

Cherilyn Woodhouse · 05-31-2009, 02:50 PM

Haha - guilty of that myself... I ran out of ideas and threw that up on a page for the time being. Oops! LOL

My worst is the "who else wants..." because it is usually followed by a monster of a headline.

"Who Else Wants to Read This Incredibly Long, Crappy Headline Over and Over Again On Half of the Sales Letters Found Online, While Other Copywriters Are Actually Putting an Effort into Their Sales Pages, Which Was Written By a Copywriting Novice or an Internet Marketer Without a Budget for a Copywriter -- All Without Having to Actually Use Your Brain!"

*barf*

- Cherilyn

Scott Murdaugh · 05-31-2009, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Onslaught

for me it's usually-

"They Laughed at me After They Read My Headline"

Haha, nice.

Star Riley · 05-31-2009, 05:05 PM

I have been out of copy writing so long I am rusty as a nail left in water for a month outside on a hot summer day.

The secret to my amazing recovery from copy writing limbo revealed..

No really copy is as copy does I was told by a copy writing master speaking to your audience is what its about no?

Headfirst · 05-31-2009, 08:47 PM

if its not that then it's "Who else wants..."

Dean Dhuli · 06-01-2009, 04:06 AM

Who else wants another
"who else wants" headline?

[

CreativelyScrappy100 · 06-01-2009, 08:42 AM

So funny! Even today that headline is still be using on satellite radio ads... and repeatedly!

Harry Behrens · 06-01-2009, 08:54 AM

Hahaha

hilarious thread. But I think the issue is to copywriting circles the same as the infamous 'Papyrus' font is to typography circles... it is overused, repeated and clicheed, but the fact is that "normal" people don't care, and as long as it gets results, it will continue to be used... "They laughed at me" isn't going to have an effect on me, but depending on the topic I can still see it having a big effect on say, my sister or mother.

askmichaelknowles · 06-01-2009, 08:46 PM

Hi Harry,

And just what would those topics be and what are you sister and mothers email?

lol
Michael

Tyrus Antas · 06-02-2009, 02:55 AM

They laughed at me when they saw my giant hemorrhoid, until I showed them how my Hemorrhoid
Survivors Group was pulling in more than $18500 each month while "working" only 2 hours a day!

Dean Dhuli · 06-02-2009, 06:38 AM

They laughed at me when I wrote a
"they laughed at me" headline

But when my conversions went through the roof,
it was I who had the last laugh!!!

'

CreativelyScrappy100 · 06-02-2009, 12:55 PM

Bottom line: unless we assume that all of these these ads are not being properly tracked... the headline still works... goodness knows I've seen more shocking things in ad results!

vistad · 06-03-2009, 04:35 AM

Guys I am relatively knew here. Why don't some retired folks log in the most common headline phrases used in the past 2 years across a dozen publications.

garyf · 06-06-2009, 02:17 AM

Well, that headline worked for 13 readers here.

John Durham · 06-08-2009, 04:39 PM

My favorite headline is "I will pay you $1,500. 'IF'...".

Agreed. Some of these old headlines are way over marketed, but I guess the proof is in the sale. If you make sales from them, why fix something that isn't broken?

05-31-2009, 12:22 PM	#1
Scott Murdaugh ResultsCopywriting.com War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: San Diego, Ca Posts: 916 Thanks: 296 Thanked 600 Times in 218 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Is it just me, or is that headline the most swiped headline on the planet? I've seen it used in at least like 15 sales letters lately, and usually pretty badly. Yeah, it worked to sell piano lessons, and was great at the time... But I can think of very few products where this would still be effective. I know I'm a jaded copywriter and I spend the majority of my life reading/writing ads, but I've got a hunch that this one has run it's course. A lot of old/common stuff is still good, like the "IF.... THEN" headline, that can be effective in certain situations. Anyone else have an over used headline that makes you cringe when you see it? Peace, -Scott
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05-31-2009, 12:48 PM	#2
icering87 Active Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 35 Thanks: 2 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... I'm immune to it, If I see it it has a negative effect on me, because I'm like you...I'm in the copywriting world. It might have some effect in the bowling market or something small and out the way, but for anything internet marketing I question it's effectiveness and it's just stupid to use it for a copywriting product.

05-31-2009, 01:58 PM	#3
Hesster Copywarrior War Room Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 84 Thanks: 8 Thanked 20 Times in 15 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... I think that even a newb copywriter in training like myself has seen the piano lesson headline so many times and butchered in so many ways it just rolls right off. But keep in mind that except for copywriting products, for the most part copywriters aren't the target market. Who knows? Maybe it still works on people who don't study ads every day. Maybe it converts better than anything else the person has tried. But yeah, for a copywriting product, nothing screams 'I have nothing original to offer' like a recycled headline.

05-31-2009, 02:50 PM	#4
Cherilyn Woodhouse Formerly Cherilyn Lester War Room Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Chilliwack, BC, Canada Posts: 2,215 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 78 Thanked 257 Times in 67 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Haha - guilty of that myself... I ran out of ideas and threw that up on a page for the time being. Oops! LOL My worst is the "who else wants..." because it is usually followed by a monster of a headline. "Who Else Wants to Read This Incredibly Long, Crappy Headline Over and Over Again On Half of the Sales Letters Found Online, While Other Copywriters Are Actually Putting an Effort into Their Sales Pages, Which Was Written By a Copywriting Novice or an Internet Marketer Without a Budget for a Copywriter -- All Without Having to Actually Use Your Brain!" barf - Cherilyn
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05-31-2009, 05:05 PM	#6
Star Riley Americas Next Child Model War Room Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: South Florida "The Sunshine State..." Posts: 319 Thanks: 12 Thanked 53 Times in 42 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... I have been out of copy writing so long I am rusty as a nail left in water for a month outside on a hot summer day. The secret to my amazing recovery from copy writing limbo revealed.. No really copy is as copy does I was told by a copy writing master speaking to your audience is what its about no?
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05-31-2009, 08:47 PM	#7
Headfirst Marketing Monkey Wrench War Room Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 566 Thanks: 21 Thanked 96 Times in 87 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... if its not that then it's "Who else wants..."

06-01-2009, 04:06 AM	#8
Dean Dhuli SaidLikeItIs.com War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 426 Thanks: 20 Thanked 42 Times in 33 Posts Contact Info	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Who else wants another "who else wants" headline? [
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06-01-2009, 08:42 AM	#9
CreativelyScrappy100 Internet Marketer\|OPM Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 11 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Social Networking	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... So funny! Even today that headline is still be using on satellite radio ads... and repeatedly!

06-01-2009, 08:54 AM	#10
Harry Behrens HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Caracas, Venezuela Posts: 306 Thanks: 118 Thanked 167 Times in 69 Posts Contact Info	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Hahaha hilarious thread. But I think the issue is to copywriting circles the same as the infamous 'Papyrus' font is to typography circles... it is overused, repeated and clicheed, but the fact is that "normal" people don't care, and as long as it gets results, it will continue to be used... "They laughed at me" isn't going to have an effect on me, but depending on the topic I can still see it having a big effect on say, my sister or mother.
	- Harry Behrens

06-01-2009, 08:46 PM	#11
askmichaelknowles PLR Expert Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: , , USA. Posts: 108 Thanks: 15 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Hi Harry, And just what would those topics be and what are you sister and mothers email? lol Michael
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06-02-2009, 02:55 AM	#12
Tyrus Antas Advanced Warrior Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 931 Thanks: 34 Thanked 101 Times in 90 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... They laughed at me when they saw my giant hemorrhoid, until I showed them how my Hemorrhoid Survivors Group was pulling in more than $18500 each month while "working" only 2 hours a day!
	yes -no

06-02-2009, 06:38 AM	#13
Dean Dhuli SaidLikeItIs.com War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 426 Thanks: 20 Thanked 42 Times in 33 Posts Contact Info	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... They laughed at me when I wrote a "they laughed at me" headline But when my conversions went through the roof, it was I who had the last laugh!!! '
	Don't Buy Another WSO Thinking It to Be Something Else! Get the full picture here!

06-02-2009, 12:55 PM	#14
CreativelyScrappy100 Internet Marketer\|OPM Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 11 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Social Networking	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Bottom line: unless we assume that all of these these ads are not being properly tracked... the headline still works... goodness knows I've seen more shocking things in ad results!

06-03-2009, 04:35 AM	#15
vistad Active Warrior Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: India Posts: 59 Thanks: 10 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Guys I am relatively knew here. Why don't some retired folks log in the most common headline phrases used in the past 2 years across a dozen publications.
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06-06-2009, 02:17 AM	#16
garyf Warrior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: France Posts: 12 Thanks: 6 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... Well, that headline worked for 13 readers here.

06-08-2009, 04:39 PM	#17
John Durham Senior Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: , , USA. Posts: 3,898 Thanks: 3,354 Thanked 3,853 Times in 1,496 Posts	Re: They Laughed When I Told Them I Could Write A Headline, But When I... My favorite headline is "I will pay you $1,500. 'IF'...". Agreed. Some of these old headlines are way over marketed, but I guess the proof is in the sale. If you make sales from them, why fix something that isn't broken?
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