Copy Makeover for Musician Selling Music Lessons

[procopywriter]

Hello, everyone:

I'd like to demonstrate an example of what I call "Spiritual Copy" by showing you copy makeover I did today for a good friend of mine. I've known this friend for 15 years or so. He's a very talented and passionate musician. Like most musicians he's tight on cash right now, and he's looking for extra students to supplement his income.

Here's what he wrote himself to put on his website: (I initialed his name for anonymity.)

--
My name is N.H., and I am offering my services to you or your children. Summer is a great time to either learn something new or to continue to hone your skills on your instrument. I have over 20 years of experience with playing and teaching the violin and viola.

Lessons are held in your home or at my studio in Columbia, MO. My normal rate is 40 dollars per hour, and 30 dollars per half hour. For more information call, email, or fill out the contact form on this page.

Learning an instrument is fun and rewarding!

--
As most people on this forum can tell, this isn't going to sell a thing.

So as a favor to a friend, I spent about an hour writing new copy for his website to help him get students.

Here's what I came up with...

--

Violin / Viola Lessons from a Master Teacher

Express your inner intuition and natural talent as you learn to play and master one of the most expressive instruments ever invented...

Dear Neighbor:

Learning to play an instrument is an exciting and rewarding journey. It’s also very challenging... which makes it one of the best outlets for personal growth and exploration—IF you have the right teacher.

The right teacher can help you find and hone your talent as you grow in your musical expression...

While a bad teacher will suck the life and ambition right out of your soul.

That’s why it’s critically important to choose a teacher who not only has the experience, talent, and credentials... but still has that passion and adventurous spirit which is at the heart and soul of every true artist.

My name is N.H. And I have a very deep passion for playing and teaching two of the most beautifully expressive instruments ever invented: the violin and viola.

I have 20 years experience and a Master of Music degree in Performance (from DePaul University in Chicago). I’ve played in prestigious orchestras like the Civic Orchestra of Chicago, where I sat under the direction of Daniel Barrenboim and Pierre Boulez. And I’m currently the assistant conductor, and principle second violinist of the Columbia Civic Orchestra.

But what’s more important is my heart-felt desire to teach the instrument I love to those willing to learn. I can teach in my studio or at your home. My rates are just $40/hour or $30/half-hour.

If you’d like to learn or improve your skills—or would like me to teach your child—simply fill out the form below to schedule an introductory lesson. I’ll be in contact with you within a day or so to set up a time.

I look forward to meeting you and sharing the love and joy of music!

Yours truly,

N.H.
Violinist / Violist / Conductor

P.S. Your first lesson is completely risk-free. If you decide I’m not the right instructor after all, just let me know and you won’t owe me anything. Is that fair? I’m looking for the right students who are ready and willing to learn... if that’s you, then let’s get started!

--

Simple. Direct. From the heart. Not an ounce of hype, and yet it connects on a deep emotional level.

That is the essence of "Spiritual Copy." And it can add power and persuasive impact to any kind of promotion.

I'm sure this can be tweaked and perfected quite a bit more. But fortunately, there are so few marketing this way it doesn't need to be world-class. It just needs to touch the heart.

Yours in Spirit,
Joshua Aaron Stanley

[CopperCopy]

This is some strong writing.

I won't go into suggestions, because that's not what I believe you are looking for.

I guess I'm not the only one with a self-named theory either! lol

I write based on the theory of reader response, which I have coined copy conductivity. All writing that is purposeful is looking to illicit a response from the reader. Knowing 1) what the reader is looking for and 2) what you want that reader's response to be is the crucial first step in drafting the best writing you can for a particular project.

You must know your reader and you must know what you want the reader's response to be. The tricky thing is discovering how to connect the dots. That's where the copywriter comes in. The higher the copy conductivity, the more likely you are to conduct a response from the reader.

Great stuff, procopywriter! Thank you for sharing your "Spiritual Copy."

How much are these lessons anyway? lol

[ARSuarez]

Aaron,

I've read your e-book. Fantastic stuff!

And yes, even though we are not along the same theology, this stuff is timeless. Very disarming. Very to the point. I've noticed a lot of ads lately with overly exaggerated promotions and impossible benefits. Worse, these "low" marketing style is creating more cynical people, who take that view with all marketing and/or copy.

This is really quite a breath of fresh air.

Thanks,

Angel

[procopywriter]

Thanks to all of you for your kind feedback. It's very humbling!

Originally Posted by CopperCopy

This is some strong writing.

I won't go into suggestions, because that's not what I believe you are looking for.

If you have suggestions, by all means, share them! I'm not so arrogant to think I know everything or have all the answers. I'm just one individual with one individual viewpoint. I try to always have the attitude that we each learn from each other. There is something to learn from everyone you meet.

Originally Posted by CopperCopy

I guess I'm not the only one with a self-named theory either! lol

I took a look at your site, Jered. Copper Copy is a clever concept! The branding element is what many copywriters are missing, or don't fully understand. In fact, many denigrate the whole concept of branding. But for long term success, it's very important. Even Dan Kennedy has his "No B.S." brand and it works very well for him.

For me, Spiritual Copy is more than a branding platform. It's a philosophy, mindset, technique, (and a brand) all rolled up into one. Since it's only 4 weeks old, I'm still working with a designer to create a look and feel for it. That's why my site looks so "plain Jane"!

Originally Posted by CopperCopy

How much are these lessons anyway? lol

My main site below has the details of an upcoming program I'm offering. I just put up a "quick & dirty" sales letter last week. I'm also giving a free copywriting training call on June 10. For anyone who'd like to sign up for it, go to FREE Copywriting Training Call.

I hope the above wasn't too overt for this forum! If so, just let me know and it won't happen again.

Aaron