Renaming and rewriting old report, some help please?

[ragnartm]

"7 Easy Steps To Squeeze Page Mastery" - Since it covers rather basic stuff I was thinking more along the lines of; "Newbie's Guide To List Building", "7 Easy Steps To An Opt-In List", "Building That First Opt-In List EXPLAINED" and "The Easy List Building Technique"

Or as advised:
"7 Secrets To Building An Opt-In List"
"7 Secrets To List Building"
"7 Secrets To Building Your Own List"
"7 Secrets To A List Of Your Own"

[Loren Woirhaye]

tell people (in your copy) that the one missing link
between where they are (broke and surfing traffic
exchanges) and where they want to be (swimming
in cash) is having your magic squeeze page formula.

Of course you cannot really come right out and say
this, but it's the image you want them to sort of get.
You want to create a picture of an end to the
frustration of getting no results from traffic exchanges
and the beginning of happy times with a burgeoning
list of people eagerly looking forward to your next
brilliant email promotion.

Really.

It's that extreme. Not easy copy to write, but that's
what you need to arrest attention with this appeal
on crap-traffic sites like TrafficSwarm.

[Bruce Wedding]

You want harsh?

You're offering to do something that you obviously haven't mastered yourself. If you're selling squeeze page mastery (BTW: Does your audience even know what a squeeze page is?) then your own squeeze page better rock my face off. It shouldn't look like something you threw together in 5 minutes.

Lastly, what are you selling? Nobody wants to master squeeze pages. They want to have a monster list. Think about that.

[ragnartm]

Originally Posted by Bruce Wedding

You want harsh?

You're offering to do something that you obviously haven't mastered yourself. If you're selling squeeze page mastery (BTW: Does your audience even know what a squeeze page is?) then your own squeeze page better rock my face off. It shouldn't look like something you threw together in 5 minutes.

Lastly, what are you selling? Nobody wants to master squeeze pages. They want to have a monster list. Think about that.

Yeah I'm hiring a designer, lol. No reason to struggle with design when I barely know anything about it. But I want to get the copy straight before that, to get some idea of the potential. Believe it or not the content of the report itself is pretty sensible.

[Bart Loos]

Originally Posted by ragnartm

There it is, not much to say really, other than that this is one of my squeeze pages made for "Traffic Exchanges" so it very well has to be short. This sort of design has provided worse results than simply |cover|headline|sign up form| (in one row 3 columns) Probably there's just something wrong with my copy. Another headline alternative I've used is "Discover How You Can Create Squeeze Pages That Generate Subscribers Like "Magic"!".

It's completely failing so I guess my copy is just bad. People have actually said good things about my actual report so I guess I just fail at executing what I have inside this thick head of mine.

Hey,

Ok at first look, I scanned over the page, with no really one thing that I had to look at first. - the pics are distracting, you want people to first read your headline, not going all over the place. So get rid of the pics. and put the login box where the pics are.

Next your headline doesn't pull me in at all. .'squeeze page mastery is 7 steps away'... there's a big disconnect here.. the whole page incl copy looks amateurish.. and really does NOT rob me of my breath...

'a headline that robs someone from their breath'.. is that really an outcome your potential clients are looking for?

so who are you addressing, and what is their outcome?

'.. 7 steps away'.. oh that long, well I just want it to be one step (click) away ...

'a massive sea of surfers'.. well is your potential client seeing their clients just as a bunch of surfers? .. not really .. they know who they are specifically addressing.

So a headline that pulls in might be something more like, 'You're About To Learn the 'Secrets' That only the guru's know and that will quadruple your opt in's instantly'

next your bullets.. put the first sentences in bold, and separate the bullets by another blank line.

Hope this helps

Have fun

Bart

[MontelloMarketing]

Originally Posted by ragnartm

Yeah I'm hiring a designer, lol. No reason to struggle with design when I barely know anything about it. But I want to get the copy straight before that, to get some idea of the potential. Believe it or not the content of the report itself is pretty sensible.

I don't think you understood Bruce entirely... He's not speaking of design when he talks about you selling something you haven't mastered. Think about that. You're selling a product about mastering squeeze pages when your own squeeze page is less than a masterpiece.

Not the layout... not the design... but your actual concept of how you're using the page.

I mean... come on. The squeeze page master really shouldn't be here looking for critiques on his squeeze page. He should be giving critiques.

Also you overlooked bruce saying that your audience might not even know what a squeeze page is. Don't ignore that.

Understand this...

We can already tell you're not doing anything advanced in your product. If so, you'd have a better squeeze page.

So... you're giving away very basic 1st level stuff.

The people who will sign up for the basic 1st level stuff are not savvy people.

There's a good chance many of them have no idea what a squeeze page is.

So don't give them the squeeze page. Give them a way to capture names and make money... And that's a squeeze page.

[ragnartm]

Thanks guys, I'm currently buying a new ecover, renaming my report (since it is rather basic) and rewriting it. Maybe something like "7 Easy Steps To Get Started Building A List Of Your Own"? or simply "7 Easy Steps To Building An Opt-In List"

[Treborrevo]

Forget the 7 steps... Steps are work.

7 Secrets... That's more what folks want.

Please read and re-read Vin and Bruce's post. They are being polite. Look for what they are really telling you.

[ragnartm]

Originally Posted by Treborrevo

Forget the 7 steps... Steps are work.

7 Secrets... That's more what folks want.

Please read and re-read Vin and Bruce's post. They are being polite. Look for what they are really telling you.

I kind of get what you're saying. It sounds a lot more "alluring", steps does sounds like effort Thanks for knocking some sense into my thick skull. Like, "No More Failure, No More Hype! 7 Secrets To Building An Opt-In List!" eh. that sounded kind of convincing actually. But what's the point of giving people who're not going to do anything you advice them to do advice? I want people who are prepared for work and investment.

[Treborrevo]

I wouldn't get hung up on pre-screening only people who are going to take action.

Gary Bencivenga sells his copy course for $5000. I guarantee you there are people who have purchased and never implemented even the most basic idea in that course.

I've got a rule: Don't Futz with the stuff that can Futz with your results until you have results to Futz with.

You need to worry about getting results first. After that you can start futzing with the copy to increase the quality of the leads.

Also, add "Simple" in your title... "7 Simple secrets...."

Make sense?

[ragnartm]

Originally Posted by Treborrevo

I wouldn't get hung up on pre-screening only people who are going to take action.

Gary Bencivenga sells his copy course for $5000. I guarantee you there are people who have purchased and never implemented even the most basic idea in that course.

I've got a rule: Don't Futz with the stuff that can Futz with your results until you have results to Futz with.

You need to worry about getting results first. After that you can start futzing with the copy to increase the quality of the leads.

Also, add "Simple" in your title... "7 Simple secrets...."

Make sense?

Yeah it does. Lol, only thing I can do is write fiction okay, what a joke I am atm, I have tons of knowledge but I fail at implementing it. "7 Simple Secrets To Building A List" or "7 Simple Secrets To Building An Opt-In List"?

[David Wilding]

"Building a list" not "an opt-in list". If you are going to start adding qualifiers try "Building a Responsive list" instead.