Sales page critique

[dorothydot]

Avani,

You sound like you have what it takes to succeed! Good for you - I wish you the best of luck.

I for one would be willing to help you however I can. If you believe in hard work and learn-learn-learning, you will succeed.

Just remember this: If you don't quit, you can't fail - Peter Bowerman

Dot

[MichelFortin]

Originally Posted by Daniel Scott

EDIT: Mike Humphreys sent me a PM and mentioned several amazing copywriters who are ESL... Including Michel Fortin (holy crap!!!)...

LOL! Sorry, I know I'm off-topic, but this comment made me grin... and blush... at the same time.

Indeed, I'm French-Canadian (un vrai-de-vrai Québecois). Jack Humphrey's wife is Cajun, so when I speak to her in French, she smiles and says, "You sound just like my grandfather!" LOL!

Bottom line, barakos9, here are a couple of things to keep in mind...

I have found, in my testing, that most bounce rates are actually NOT caused by the copy (not the message, anyway), but two other, different things:

1. Targeting your audience, who they are, and how it finds your website.
2. And congruency between your appeal and the audience's mindset.

For #1, a lot of people will say, "But I use PPC and target highly relevant keywords." Not so. I imagine that your keywords may be related to the wedding planning industry, but not necessarily to brides- or grooms-to-be.

The problem, I gather, is that you're probably betting on words revolving around "weddings" (too generic) and "wedding planning" (solution-driven, not problem-driven).

I'm no PPC expert, but my thinking is, people don't look for solutions by typing them into search engines. They are likely looking for solutions by typing in the problem, or symptom, instead.

What about "wedding tips," "wedding rehearsals," "reception checklist," "wedding anxiety," "wedding blunders," etc. These are just guesses, and you'll need to research these yourself. (I'll come back to why in a moment.)

I didn't take a look at your copy, so my opinion here may be a tad off.

But just from what I've read on this thread, I also figure that people are looking for free information or help. Maybe content focused on helping the soon-to-be couple with actual, practical tips, followed by a transition to a product that continues or complements these tips.

In other words, try testing campaigns with highly specific keywords, especially keywords surrounding problems or symptoms (not solutions). And give them the information they're looking for, leading to the sale.

Sure, search volume for terms related to the problem people experienced may not be as large as those with keywords that included the solution, and traffic levels may still not be extravagant.

But the chances are high they will bring in more quality traffic because seekers will have an affinity with the more targeted search results, as well as bring in more targeted traffic to boot.

(This is also part of #2, "congruency.")

This reminded me of something brilliant my friend and top copywriter David Garfinkel once said. He said to write copy (or in this case, to find targeted keywords), you need to know three critical things:

1. Who is my client,
2. What is their problem, and
3. How are they talking about it?

Knowing the first one is crucial. A lot of people do market research only to gauge demand, without ever knowing who their client really is, much less how they perceive, talk about, and seek out solutions for, their problem.

The third question in particular is the kicker!

People looking for your services or infoproduct may be typing something completely different in the search engines, and if you ignore this you're going to miss out on a ton of higher quality traffic.

Next is congruency. And it's a biggie.

Congruency is by far one of the biggest problems in copy. Very often, we write copy around what we "think" our audience wants or will be interested in, when that's far from being the case in many instances.

Congruency means, the message matches the mindset of the market. It continues the flow, so to speak, of what's going on in their minds. In copy, this is called the "appeal."

Your copy needs to have the right story targeted to the right audience, and they must gel together in a smooth and logical transition. When people who are in a certain frame of mind hit your website, that site must fit and flow from within that mindframe.

If not, your bounce rate will show it. In spades.

I hope this helps, and good luck to you.

[Collette]

Originally Posted by MichelFortin

...most bounce rates are actually NOT caused by the copy (not the message, anyway), but two other, different things:

1. How your audience is targeted and find your website.
2. And congruency between the appeal and the audience.

...you need to know three critical things:

1. Who is my client,
2. What is their problem, and
3. How are they talking about it?

Knowing the first one is crucial. A lot of people do market research only to gauge demand, without ever knowing who their client really is, much less how they perceive, talk about, and seek out solutions for, their problem.

The third question in particular is the kicker!

...Congruency is by far one of the biggest problems in copy. Very often, we write copy around what we "think" our audience wants or will be interested in, when that's far from being the case, in many instances.

Congruency means, the message matches the mindset of the market. It continues the flow, so to speak, of what's going on in their minds. In copy, this is called the "appeal."

...

And it's amazing how many "critique wanted" posters fight this simple truth. Instead, they insist they ARE giving people what they want.

Even though the numbers tell them otherwise.

Pure gold in Michel's post, people.

Print it. Clip it. Read it three times before breakfast.

And then, fergawdssake, actually do something with the advice.