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Old 07-02-2009, 12:08 AM   #1
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Default first page critique

I posted my site before and received some good feedback. Any new feedback would be apprechiated. (only read up to the P.S' section)

Also i heard some firefox having alignment isseus when viewing my site can anyone confirm this since im using I.E also anyone know how to solve this

SiteName
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Old 07-02-2009, 12:50 AM   #2
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Default Re: first page critique

It seems to work really well for me.

It looks really good as well.

I didn't read through it, but just glanced at whatever got my attention (in a good or bad way), and I personally would change something here:

(quote)

IMPORTANT:

This May Change Your Dating Life Forever...

(End Quote)

You might want to consider changing the colors up on one of these. Keep one red and other black or vice versa, just to make it stand out even more.

Looks great otherwise John, good job!

Konrad

PS: - just now noticed... the proper name in the <title> tag is also missing
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Old 07-05-2009, 09:56 PM   #3
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Default Re: first page critique

1st: Attention: All Males!

Not very attention grabbing... too small, maybe diffrent color? Also... Is your audience "All Males", or "All Aspiring Pimps & Playaz", or maybe "All Guys Who Are Dying to Be Better At Attracting the Hotties You thought We're 'Off Limits'"

2nd: "Discover How You Can Approach Any Woman And Know Exactly How To Create An Uncontrollable Physical Attraction In Her Despite Your Age, Looks And Income"

Too General - Not Addressing Emotional Need of Men...

"Now You Can Confidently Approach Any Woman And Create an Instant 'Animal' Attraction In Her Despite How Fat, Ugly, Broke, and Stupid You Are!"

Just an example, of course, but you get the point...

3rd: Can you help me help you by taking a moment to honestly answer the questions below...

No he doesn't care about "helping you" - rather phrase it - Dear Friend, Take a moment and help yourself out by answering these questions"

Hope this helps as a start...

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Old 07-05-2009, 11:29 PM   #4
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Default Re: first page critique

Hi Vanquish

I just looked at your website in Firefox. There are some blank lines in between your graphics on your salepage.

You can use this nifty tool to check your html page in the various browsers :
Check Browser Compatibility, Cross Platform Browser Test - Browsershots

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Old 07-07-2009, 10:26 PM   #5
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Default Re: first page critique

Quote:
Originally Posted by jvwinwin View Post
Hi Vanquish

I just looked at your website in Firefox. There are some blank lines in between your graphics on your salepage.

You can use this nifty tool to check your html page in the various browsers :
Check Browser Compatibility, Cross Platform Browser Test - Browsershots


Thanks for pointing that out, how do i fix this?

When i went to the site i typed in my url and all it said is robots.txt can not be found
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Old 07-07-2009, 11:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: first page critique

Hi Vanquish,

Just had a quick look through your site and noticed a few typos and grammatical errors. Just small things like 'their' instead of 'there' and 'could of' instead of 'could have'. Also there were a couple of sentances where, if read aloud, it just didn't make sense.

When I've finished a piece of writing I always read it slowly and aloud to see if it sounds good - it's easier to spot anything that doesn't sound right. Another way is to ask someone else to proofread it for you.

I hope you don't mind me pointing this out. Just trying to help.

Regards

Karen

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Old 07-08-2009, 01:27 AM   #7
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Default Re: first page critique

Attention who? Sorry you lost me right there... I ain't a male but what a generalized statement... who wants to be one of "males"?

Me
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:36 AM   #8
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Default Re: first page critique

Hi,

I'm not sure on the market for this type of product, but I would have thought a play on the emotion side (sole mate type thing, rather than the hottie (is that even a word) type approach).

I get white lines at the top, between the header and the main page and the footer and the main page. Suspect cellspacing on the table perhaps.

I'm not sure saying "hot women" really works. Maybe for your niche... not sure.

Saying "settling for women of low quality", they're not like cheap shirts of something. Aren't all people equal in quality.

I would change the style into something that deals with the emotional issues of men being confident in approaching a woman (hot or otherwise) and how you can help them over come their fears, anxieties, hang-ups, problems etc etc.

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Old 07-08-2009, 05:37 PM   #9
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Default Re: first page critique

Quote:
Originally Posted by lharding View Post
Hi,

I'm not sure on the market for this type of product, but I would have thought a play on the emotion side (sole mate type thing, rather than the hottie (is that even a word) type approach).

I get white lines at the top, between the header and the main page and the footer and the main page. Suspect cellspacing on the table perhaps.

I'm not sure saying "hot women" really works. Maybe for your niche... not sure.

Saying "settling for women of low quality", they're not like cheap shirts of something. Aren't all people equal in quality.

I would change the style into something that deals with the emotional issues of men being confident in approaching a woman (hot or otherwise) and how you can help them over come their fears, anxieties, hang-ups, problems etc etc.


Thanks for your input!

Does anyone know how to solve the cell spacing issue? It shows up fine in IE but weird in Firefox and I don't want my site to look unprofessional, can anyone look at my html code and find a way to fix it?

This is open to everyone, im no html expert but if you can solve it i will gladly paypal you a few bucks.
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Old 07-08-2009, 05:57 PM   #10
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Default Re: first page critique

Hey Vanquish... you CAN'T use a picture of Kate Beckinsale on your website. I seriously doubt you PAID to use that photo. It won't be long before you hear from her attorneys with a C&D.

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Old 07-09-2009, 06:07 AM   #11
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Default Re: first page critique

Hi,

Just had a quick glance at your HTML, it's not cellspacing/padding. I think it's because you've put your images inside a <p>, I suspect there is a margin default for this tag, which is creating the white space at the top and bottom of your header/footer images.

Cheers, Lee.

Lee Harding
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:15 AM   #12
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Default Re: first page critique

Numerous errors in the copy - including using the plural of "women" instead of "woman." It's tedious and silly to read, it's not believable, and any guy dumb enough to buy that book based on those promises and that ad is beyond the hope of ever meeting a great woman. I mean, seriously.

I don't care if you want to rip off obese losers with horrible personal habits and who treat women like meat who live in their mothers' basements, but don't expect any good man with integrity, self-respect and intelligence to read past the headline.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

~ T.S. Eliot
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