New site content critique

parnison · 07-02-2009, 07:24 PM

I have developed a completely unique ebook in a unique and currently untapped market, I cant find anything like this on the web.

I have had someone calling themselves a copy writer put the sales copy together and wondered if you would be kind enough to have a read and let me know your thoughts.

website is layingfoundations dot co dot uk (Sorry about that, not allowed to post links yet)

This is my first foray into internet marketing /sales and I have lots to learn I just hope that I can get this to sell.

There are estimated to be 100,000 amatuer Rugby League coaches in the UK. Must be a fair few more worldwide.

Many Thanks

Paul

MontelloMarketing · 07-02-2009, 08:46 PM

Paul,

Your letter looks like it was thrown together in a few hours based on a simple template or it may have even been spit out of a software program.

The problem is it's written exactly like "content." You don't want content. You want sales copy.

Two different animals that live on two different continents.

Most content writers can't write sales copy. The one who wrote your page certainly falls into that category.

It's not your fault. You're new. I get it.

Anyway... what you need is a professional copywriter.

Now enter the debate about how much you should pay for a professional copywriter. It's certainly going to be more than you paid for the page you have now.

I'll step back and let others tell you more.

bluenetworx · 07-02-2009, 09:00 PM

Hi there, I think it look ok..but I must agree that this it is content and not strong sales copy.

A few things to consider in sales copy is that you need to remember that there are four main personality types that people are, and they are a mixture of all four, these are:

1.) analytical
2.) amiable
3.) direct
4.) ego

So most good sales copy will try and connect with all four types.

Analytical - want all the details
Amiable - want to see testimonies
Direct - want bullet points of everything they are getting
Ego - want to know what you product can do for them/make then look like etc...

Also when writing it is good to start with a problem, further draw out this problem, relate to people in that problem and then provide a solution to the problem (ie your product)

Hope this helps,

Don't feel discouraged your product looks great!!

07-02-2009, 07:24 PM	#1
parnison Warrior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	New site content critique I have developed a completely unique ebook in a unique and currently untapped market, I cant find anything like this on the web. I have had someone calling themselves a copy writer put the sales copy together and wondered if you would be kind enough to have a read and let me know your thoughts. website is layingfoundations dot co dot uk (Sorry about that, not allowed to post links yet) This is my first foray into internet marketing /sales and I have lots to learn I just hope that I can get this to sell. There are estimated to be 100,000 amatuer Rugby League coaches in the UK. Must be a fair few more worldwide. Many Thanks Paul

07-02-2009, 08:46 PM	#2
MontelloMarketing Godfather Of Persuasion War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles - Tampa - Raleigh Posts: 1,140 Thanks: 112 Thanked 349 Times in 177 Posts Social Networking	Re: New site content critique Paul, Your letter looks like it was thrown together in a few hours based on a simple template or it may have even been spit out of a software program. The problem is it's written exactly like "content." You don't want content. You want sales copy. Two different animals that live on two different continents. Most content writers can't write sales copy. The one who wrote your page certainly falls into that category. It's not your fault. You're new. I get it. Anyway... what you need is a professional copywriter. Now enter the debate about how much you should pay for a professional copywriter. It's certainly going to be more than you paid for the page you have now. I'll step back and let others tell you more.
	3/1/2012 The Next (FREE) Conversion Clambake Webinar! Sign up to get live answers to all your marketing questions, from a panel of conversion experts. CLICK HERE To Register For This Or Future Clambakes

07-02-2009, 09:00 PM	#3
bluenetworx HyperActive Warrior War Room Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 200 Thanks: 10 Thanked 22 Times in 21 Posts	Re: New site content critique Hi there, I think it look ok..but I must agree that this it is content and not strong sales copy. A few things to consider in sales copy is that you need to remember that there are four main personality types that people are, and they are a mixture of all four, these are: 1.) analytical 2.) amiable 3.) direct 4.) ego So most good sales copy will try and connect with all four types. Analytical - want all the details Amiable - want to see testimonies Direct - want bullet points of everything they are getting Ego - want to know what you product can do for them/make then look like etc... Also when writing it is good to start with a problem, further draw out this problem, relate to people in that problem and then provide a solution to the problem (ie your product) Hope this helps, Don't feel discouraged your product looks great!!
	Affiliate Marketing