Please Critique my landing page!

GettinRough · 07-03-2009, 07:43 PM

heres its temporary place

tinyurl.com/mdc77y

I think its alittle unbelievable, but ive seen worse succeed.

I didnt mean to be rude by saying Critique my landing page!

Sorry

dvduval · 07-03-2009, 08:01 PM

I like it. Overall, I have no issues with the look. Make sure you have a link to continue at the bottom of the page too though.

Alexa Smith · 07-03-2009, 08:20 PM

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I really think you'll get a lot more people willing to help if you say "Please critique my landing page" (and if you don't give the url as a "tinyurl"). Just a suggestion.

RentItNow · 07-03-2009, 08:26 PM

Two small design issues:

1) The pictures need a zero border around them. (use border="0" in your img src tags)
2) Your are changing to times new roman on the bottom text. Stay consistent with Arial or Tahoma if possible. You should use CSS to adjust things easier. (Dreamweaver is great for this). You are missing font face tags on that text.

On a copy issue, I would gear the top paragraph more about the customer, not you. Too much I I I.

BrianMcLeod · 07-03-2009, 10:54 PM

"Critique my landing page!"

No.

MarkAndrews IMCopywriting · 07-03-2009, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GettinRough

heres its temporary place

tinyurl.com/mdc77y

I think its alittle unbelievable, but ive seen worse succeed.

Would you mind if I draw your attention to this thread which is a 'Sticky' at the top of the forum?

Say PLEASE

You've got more than a few excellent copywriters here, some of the top guys in their industry - it doesn't bode too well demanding that they critique your cloaked site / URL, essentially commanding them to attention like a dog on a lead or some other domesticated animal.

If you want consultation and advice which is being given free of charge, please do remember your P's and your Q's.

Thank you.

MarkAndrews IMCopywriting · 07-04-2009, 12:42 AM

Thanks for the correction in your title, unfortunately your site Index of / is not showing up - just the index page is displaying.

07-03-2009, 07:43 PM	#1
GettinRough Warrior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 18 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Please Critique my landing page! heres its temporary place tinyurl.com/mdc77y I think its alittle unbelievable, but ive seen worse succeed. I didnt mean to be rude by saying Critique my landing page! Sorry

07-03-2009, 08:01 PM	#2
dvduval phpLD master Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , . Posts: 1,343 Thanks: 20 Thanked 87 Times in 86 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page! I like it. Overall, I have no issues with the look. Make sure you have a link to continue at the bottom of the page too though.
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07-03-2009, 08:20 PM	#3
Alexa Smith Wordsmith War Room Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 1,845 Thanks: 660 Thanked 508 Times in 367 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page! Please don't take this the wrong way, but I really think you'll get a lot more people willing to help if you say "Please critique my landing page" (and if you don't give the url as a "tinyurl"). Just a suggestion.
	Alexa Smith ... ... writes many things that snap, crackle and pop, but not too many signature-files.

07-03-2009, 08:26 PM	#4
RentItNow HyperActive Warrior Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 177 Thanks: 21 Thanked 38 Times in 35 Posts	Re: Critique my landing page! Two small design issues: 1) The pictures need a zero border around them. (use border="0" in your img src tags) 2) Your are changing to times new roman on the bottom text. Stay consistent with Arial or Tahoma if possible. You should use CSS to adjust things easier. (Dreamweaver is great for this). You are missing font face tags on that text. On a copy issue, I would gear the top paragraph more about the customer, not you. Too much I I I.
	John J. Adams *FREE VIDEO reveals ‘house for rent’ secrets that rented 150+ places FAST!* -->>**

07-03-2009, 10:54 PM	#5
BrianMcLeod Fingers of Fury War Room Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Miami, Florida, USA. Posts: 1,140 Blog Entries: 5 Thanks: 419 Thanked 348 Times in 198 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Critique my landing page! "Critique my landing page!" No.
	Brian McLeod "Copywriting Training For NON-Copywriters?" Yes, yes... YES! Increase Conversions By Watching Your Web Visitors On Your Site Direct Response Copywriting \| Follow @LoudMac on Twitter \| Sell.More.Better

07-04-2009, 12:42 AM	#7
MarkAndrews IMCopywriting http://IMCopywriting.com War Room Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: UK Posts: 1,108 Blog Entries: 1 Thanks: 587 Thanked 284 Times in 219 Posts Social Networking Contact Info	Re: Please Critique my landing page! Thanks for the correction in your title, unfortunately your site Index of / is not showing up - just the index page is displaying.
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