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Use of Rhyme

by marbar1989
10 replies
Hi everyone.

I'm new to the forum, but very excited to be a member of this community. It looks like it has a lot to offer and will really help me out in my journey into copywriting.

I'm working on a postcard for a Home Appliance Repair company. I was thinking of implementing rhyming as a way to draw the reader in and increase memorability of the ad...

... but on the other hand, reading makes it seem (to me, at least) tacky and try-hard.

I'm wondering, in your experience, what do you think about using some rhyme in copy?

Thanks!
#rhyme
  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    Originally Posted by marbar1989 View Post

    Hi everyone.

    I'm new to the forum, but very excited to be a member of this community. It looks like it has a lot to offer and will really help me out in my journey into copywriting.

    I'm working on a postcard for a Home Appliance Repair company. I was thinking of implementing rhyming as a way to draw the reader in and increase memorability of the ad...

    ... but on the other hand, reading makes it seem (to me, at least) tacky and try-hard.

    I'm wondering, in your experience, what do you think about using some rhyme in copy?

    Thanks!
    Usually turns out cheesy.
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  • Profile picture of the author justinmahar
    I agree with Copy Nazi.

    I would favor something that reaches into the soul of your customer, demonstrates that you truly understand their frustrations regarding home repair, and offers relief.

    I would also suggest using humor over rhymes. Humor connects, rhymes amuse at best.

    Only use humor if the underlying message still communicates that the company can help the customer get a benefit and avoid pain.
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    • Profile picture of the author hbennick
      I think rhyming is a bad idea.
      My VW runs on urea.

      Couldn't resist....
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      Starting an Amazon business? Expanding your eBay line? Absolutely lost? Know your stuff, but need a little help? Please private message me, I can help. I've helped several people achieve their goals. There's no charge if I can't help you.
      Also, please check out my Advanced FaceBook Amazon FBA Mastermind Group.
      https://www.facebook.com/groups/1386831354951122/
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  • Profile picture of the author marbar1989
    Thanks a bunch, everyone.

    That's what my gut was saying;I should start trusting it more when writing copy.

    I'll post what I came up with soon to see what everyone thinks.
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  • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
    Agree with the above... rhyming is pointless and won't enhance your copy. I'd recommend throwing away the paradigm that copy has to be somehow "clever" in order to convert well. HUGE newbie false assumption in regards to Copywriting.

    Best,
    -Cam
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  • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
    "Cream as rich as an Irish brogue
    coffee as strong as a friendly hand,
    sugar as sweet as the tongue of a rogue,
    and whiskey as smooth as the wit of the land."
    -Joe Sheridan
    Signature
    Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

    The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
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    • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
      Originally Posted by pewpewpewmonkeys View Post

      "Cream as rich as an Irish brogue
      coffee as strong as a friendly hand,
      sugar as sweet as the tongue of a rogue,
      and whiskey as smooth as the wit of the land."
      -Joe Sheridan
      Yup, you see our point now Marbar?
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      • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
        Originally Posted by Cam Connor View Post

        Yup, you see our point now Marbar?
        Alas, poor Joe Sheridan. He'll never be successful at selling Irish Coffee. Ever.


        But, no, seriously, rimming is probably a bad idea. So is rhyming.
        Signature
        Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

        The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
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  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
    Banned
    Originally Posted by marbar1989 View Post

    I'm wondering, in your experience, what do you think about using some rhyme in copy?
    It instinctively and immediately appeals to me ...

    ... and that's just about as close to being "conclusive proof" as you can get - without testing - that, overall, it must be a dreadful idea, because with sales copy, things that instinctively and immediately appeal to me almost never convert well.

    .
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Originally Posted by marbar1989 View Post

    Hi everyone.

    I'm new to the forum, but very excited to be a member of this community. It looks like it has a lot to offer and will really help me out in my journey into copywriting.

    I'm working on a postcard for a Home Appliance Repair company. I was thinking of implementing rhyming as a way to draw the reader in and increase memorability of the ad...

    ... but on the other hand, reading makes it seem (to me, at least) tacky and try-hard.

    I'm wondering, in your experience, what do you think about using some rhyme in copy?

    Thanks!
    As a rule, don't use it.

    But as with most rules, there are exceptions.

    Billy Mays used rhyme in some of his infomercials..
    "Hi, Billy Mays here for the Grater Plater! It's no ordinary plate. Watch this.

    Grate cheese with ease - Parmesan, Romano, even Asiago. There's no wrong way to use it. Back and forth, side to side, round and round, all the cheese stays in the plate. Pass it around the dinner table and grate as you go.

    Use it for pasta, pizza or salads. For zest, it's the best. Whether is a lemon, lime or orange, you get perfect results each and every time. You can't mince garlic with one of these and if you use a press, it's a mess!"
    Alex
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