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How do you write benefits in simple, plain English?

by stanigator
12 replies
I know this is elementary copywriting stuff, but given the technological details required to realize the benefit, I'm getting trapped inside my own head when it comes to writing benefits - well, in grade school English.

What do you do in the revision process to dumb down your wording? Read your copy out loud? or getting someone else who doesn't know your product to read your sales copy out loud?

Or do you do something before you write (e.g. interview the typical clientele) to ensure you don't get stuck with complex vocabulary in the first place?

Thank you in advance for your feedback!
#benefits #english #plain #simple #write
  • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
    There shouldn't be any jargon in your benefits at all! If you're finding jargon in your benefit statements then you are still thinking about features, not benefits.

    To get at the benefits, you need to ask about each feature, "And what's good about that?" If you've done it correctly, that answer is in ordinary language.

    For example, a new car has a tri-valve automatic throttler (I just made that up for the sake of the example.) Your description of that feature might include jargon. However, what's the benefit? It enables the car to start quickly and flawlessly no matter what kind of extreme weather you're in.

    Got it?

    Marcia Yudkin
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    • Profile picture of the author obaynes
      I find looking at the related article(s) on the Simple English Wikipedia sometimes helps if I'm not sure whether a particular passage is too complex for a non-technically-inclined or potentially ESL audience.

      Wikipedia
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  • Profile picture of the author KevinWellsMarketing
    When you think about each feature of the product, add "which means that..." and then state the benefit.

    To get into the right voice for the product: read the existing or previous advertising for the product if there is any. Also take a look at how competitior products speak to their audience. Read user forums for the product and see how they talk to each other.

    You don't actually have to avoid all jargon. Provided it's relevant to the niche and meaningful to them, a little jargon can be useful because it shows the copy understands the audience.

    But don't try to be clever with the copy. Also keep to shorter syllables, be ruthless in cutting out unnecessary words.
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    • Profile picture of the author stanigator
      Originally Posted by KevinWellsMarketing View Post

      When you think about each feature of the product, add "which means that..." and then state the benefit.

      To get into the right voice for the product: read the existing or previous advertising for the product if there is any. Also take a look at how competitior products speak to their audience. Read user forums for the product and see how they talk to each other.

      You don't actually have to avoid all jargon. Provided it's relevant to the niche and meaningful to them, a little jargon can be useful because it shows the copy understands the audience.

      But don't try to be clever with the copy. Also keep to shorter syllables, be ruthless in cutting out unnecessary words.
      Looking at existing sales copy from competitors is what I ended up doing, and simplifying the wording even more for the intended audience.
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  • Profile picture of the author quadagon
    You might want to google the flesch scale and Fog index that should help.

    I always run my copy through these to give me an indication that i'm on the right level.
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  • Profile picture of the author smoor2012
    You can summarize anything in plain english.

    When you know what something ultimately does, look at the big picture, and explain it that way. Just like you're talking in a casual conversation.

    That's not really "dumbing it down", that's called good communication skills.

    When you can explain it verbally to somebody who knows nothing about it, and they get the big picture, then you can explain it on paper the same way.

    Maybe that helps, maybe not...I have had to do this before on the job is why I replied to this. I was advised at the time to handle my explanation this way...only certain people will understand the technical side anyway

    I had to do this verbally and in an instruction manual
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  • Profile picture of the author gregw
    Here's a small set of headlines from 106 Headlines That Made Money.

    Reverse Engineer these and pick out the 'Benefits'

    1. How to beat tension without pills
    2. How to collect from Social Security at any age
    3. How to do your Christmas shopping in 5 minutes
    4. How to feel fit at any age
    5. How to get rid of an inferiority complex
    6. How to get your cooking bragged about
    7. How to have a cool, quiet bedroom --even on hot nights
    8. How to make money writing short paragraphs
    9. How to stop worrying
    10. How to stretch your inflated money
    11. How to win friends and influence people
    12. How $20 spent may save you $2,000
    13. How you can get a loan of $500
    gregw
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    One way is to read the testimonials of those who used the product and
    use their wording in your benefit statement. For example, if you read
    the product description for an Amazon.com product and read what
    customers are saying about the product the wording is quite different.

    -Ray Edwards
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    • Profile picture of the author stanigator
      Originally Posted by Raydal View Post

      One way is to read the testimonials of those who used the product and
      use their wording in your benefit statement. For example, if you read
      the product description for an Amazon.com product and read what
      customers are saying about the product the wording is quite different.

      -Ray Edwards
      That's a very good point!
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  • Profile picture of the author Ariah
    It depends OP...having worked in an ad shop, I know copy writing for the client is about pleasing the client to spend the money...copy writing for your own investment through advertising channels, that means KILLING ALL possibility of failure by testing your copy before spending much money.

    You can't know what works until you test and assess, you can only throw out good guesses and hope some are viable.

    (Yes clients like Ford generally like to make their own choices, funny I know)
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  • Profile picture of the author WD Mino
    Hey gang can I play.
    Here's what I was told when I asked this question to David Garfinkle.
    Think of an air conditioner. The many settings it has are the features.
    The benefit is the cool air blowing on you like a gentle breeze on a hot summer's day.
    Allowing you to work or rest comfortably while others are sweltering away

    You get the idea.
    Best,
    -WD
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    "As a man thinks in his heart so is he-Proverbs 23:7"

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  • Profile picture of the author Mara Tyler
    Reading things aloud helps me.

    I also think it's important to just do a first draft and then "dumb" it down on second review. I tend to use bigger words at first (it's the writer in me), but the common reader wants simplicity.

    Keep it simple.

    I also think it's important, more so than dumbing something down, just to make sure the copy is in your voice. If you tend to speak a certain way, make your copy reflect this. Yes, there are formulas, but good copy doesn't have to fit into a box.

    Express yo'self!
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