Would appreciate a critique of my first pre-sell page f

I say write MORE. Get more specific. Really review
the product, like passionate reviewers do on Amazon.

All you've done here is pitch it, obviously in it for the
commission. That's not the same as a review.

if you actually used any of the information to build something
a video showing off what you created from the guide
would do wonders for your credibility. As it is you are
claiming enthusiast status in the field but offering little in the
way of the kind of specific criticism another person with
even a little experience would take as evidence of your
authenticity.

In a nutshell, I don't believe you because you claim to
be an enthusiast but don't prove it.

Hi,

I would reocommend the following:

1. Move the headline to the top of the page. If you want to use the banner then incorporate it in the copy later on the page.

2. The call to action is not clear. Do you want me to signup for free tips or to buy the $49.97 product??? I wouldn't try both, make the call to action singular and simple. RED buttons have been shown to work well for call to actions.

Good luck!

On Chrome you've got 2 different fonts going looks like georgia and arial maybe....

Not too sound like a jerk but I think I would tear down and restart from scratch...It might help to review 2 or 3 similar products on the page if your setting it up as a review..Then it goes from looking like a sad sales pitch for 1 product to a real review...

Put a picture of Nick up to add to the feel.

Hey, at least your doing something...keep on keeping on.

there are some great templates out their to follow...

Thanks so much everybody for your feedback.

Since this is meant to be a pre-sell page I thought that less writing was better and that the actual sales page should do the selling. But we also want to build a list because we have an interest in the niche and would like to develop a business in this area with a variety of products (both affiliate and self-developed) down the track. How can one build a list and pre-sell the product in a believable manner? Or should we just focus on promoting the product as an affiliate and scrap the list for the short term?

On the subject of review pages - I suppose it is an ethical question with me. Fake reviews. I know they work but the concept isn't one I am keen to embrace so I am more interested in honing the pre-sell page. I have read repeatedly Ewen Chia's instruction on pre-sell pages but obviously still need help! Will rework it and post it in a few days and see what you can offer then!

BTW - our CTR was pretty good actually but the sales page didn't seem to convert at all on the first go round. It was our first stab at PPC.

Thanks again.

Wow! Thanks searchnology, Bill and Wordpro....you guys have offered some really great tips that I will take to heart with this project and the next! Thanks again.