Critique my squeeze page

by Munyez
31 replies
I am using an eBook as a freebie to build my email list

Niche: Social Anxiety

Click here
#critique #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Originally Posted by Munyez View Post

    I am using an eBook as a freebie to build my email list

    Niche: Social Anxiety

    Click here
    not a big fan of the red background.

    your headline: "4 THINGS YOU CAN START DOING TODAY TO BECOME CONFIDENT and self-reliant" and then your points headline: "Learn 4 Pillars of Great Self-Esteem and Confidence" self reliant and self confidence are 2 different things.. what are you offering?

    your capture pop is asking for "name" and "e-mail" and there is only a place for the "email" again in the pop up.. not liking the blue.

    there are more than a FEW studies that suggest that WHITE backgrounds out perform all others. that being said.. ironically "lead pages" squeeze pages in general do NOT have white backgrounds... BUT they are all images, and not solid colors. so take that for what it is!
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    Success is an ACT not an idea
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    • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
      Banned
      I agree about the background color.

      It's messy and complicated. At the bottom it says something about "the email you eneter above" but you don't enter it above. You have to click on something first (don't like that). And when you do, it refers to entering your name and email address, but there's only one field.

      .
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      • Profile picture of the author Munyez
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        I agree about the background color.

        It's messy and complicated. At the bottom it says something about "the email you eneter above" but you don't enter it above. You have to click on something first (don't like that). And when you do, it refers to entering your name and email address, but there's only one field.

        .
        Hey!

        thanks for noticing, didn't realize that before (changed my Aweber optin form settings)
        I am not running this squeeze page atm, so all good
        appreciate the feedback!

        Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

        not a big fan of the red background.

        your headline: "4 THINGS YOU CAN START DOING TODAY TO BECOME CONFIDENT and self-reliant" and then your points headline: "Learn 4 Pillars of Great Self-Esteem and Confidence" self reliant and self confidence are 2 different things.. what are you offering?

        your capture pop is asking for "name" and "e-mail" and there is only a place for the "email" again in the pop up.. not liking the blue.

        there are more than a FEW studies that suggest that WHITE backgrounds out perform all others. that being said.. ironically "lead pages" squeeze pages in general do NOT have white backgrounds... BUT they are all images, and not solid colors. so take that for what it is!
        I was thinking exactly the same about the background, just needed some other opinions.
        I am probably going to make it white or something more bring

        Originally Posted by travlinguy View Post

        Confident and self reliant is good. Now go beyond that. What types of benefits does confidence and self reliance get you? More dates. More money. Popularity. Acceptance.

        I'd say you need to work this stuff, the product of confidence and self reliance, into your copy.
        Great notice, will definitely include the benefits!
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Confident and self reliant is good. Now go beyond that. What types of benefits does confidence and self reliance get you? More dates. More money. Popularity. Acceptance.

    I'd say you need to work this stuff, the product of confidence and self reliance, into your copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author Munyez
    ok, how about now?
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    • Profile picture of the author jeffreyhuan
      Originally Posted by Munyez View Post

      ok, how about now?
      It looks great for me now. Good work.
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    • Profile picture of the author RidwanM
      Originally Posted by Munyez View Post

      ok, how about now?
      I would suggest changing the bit you put at the bottom.

      The whole point of the two step opt-in ie. making people click a button, triggering a modal which then asks for their email is to not look like you're out there hunting for emails and instead make it look like its free, a call to action, a download button etc.

      Your bit at the bottom removes the benefit of having that button because you're telling people they're going to have to enter their email.

      Change it and make it something compelling, something that adds value to your squeeze page. Saying that you're going to email it to them on the optin page adds zero value
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      • Profile picture of the author Munyez
        Originally Posted by RidwanM View Post

        I would suggest changing the bit you put at the bottom.

        The whole point of the two step opt-in ie. making people click a button, triggering a modal which then asks for their email is to not look like you're out there hunting for emails and instead make it look like its free, a call to action, a download button etc.

        Your bit at the bottom removes the benefit of having that button because you're telling people they're going to have to enter their email.

        Change it and make it something compelling, something that adds value to your squeeze page. Saying that you're going to email it to them on the optin page adds zero value
        Solid advice

        Changed it to:
        You are One Step Away from Becoming the Person You Have Always Wanted to Be
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  • Profile picture of the author Munyez
    Before:


    After:
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  • Profile picture of the author onSubie
    The bottom of the squeeze says: The FREE Report will be sent to the email address you submit above!

    But there is no place to submit an address because you have a 2-setp opt-in.

    I suggest switching this text and the text on the Opt-in pop-up.

    So:
    You are One Step Away from Becoming the Person You Have Always Wanted to Be

    On the main squeeze to encourage clicking on the "one step" (the "Send me the book" button)

    Then (change "above" to "below"):
    The FREE Report will be sent to the email address you submit below!


    On the opt-in pop-up to remind them to enter a real address.
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  • Profile picture of the author art72
    I'm a bit overwhelmed by the #4 appearing so many times. I would drop the whole "4 things you can start doing today for higher" ( in the red header...sounds too much like work, and people are lazy) so, keep it short & concise like;

    Regain Your Self-Esteem & Confidence TODAY!.. 100% FREE (for a limited time only)

    Also, the book cover could 'pop' more... The title & logo seem decent, but it looks dry. Maybe spend a bit more time on the cover design.

    Button... Keep it simple; "Instant Access" or "Claim Your Free Download Now!"

    100% Secure... From what? (Maybe sumfin like; Your Privacy is Our Priority)

    Overall, the second version above is 1000x better... Keep up the good work!
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    Atop a tree with Buddha ain't a bad place to take rest!
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    • Profile picture of the author savidge4
      Originally Posted by art72 View Post

      I'm a bit overwhelmed by the #4 appearing so many times. I would drop the whole "4 things you can start doing today for higher" ( in the red header...sounds too much like work, and people are lazy) so, keep it short & concise like;

      I am going to agree here, but maybe the addition of "Simple" into the main headline might do the trick. "4 Simple things you can do today..." streamlines the text, ( add simple pull start ) and it makes it more actionable I believe.


      Love Love Love to see people that get suggestions and put them to use WTG!
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      Success is an ACT not an idea
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    • Profile picture of the author Munyez
      Originally Posted by art72 View Post

      I'm a bit overwhelmed by the #4 appearing so many times. I would drop the whole "4 things you can start doing today for higher" ( in the red header...sounds too much like work, and people are lazy) so, keep it short & concise like;

      Regain Your Self-Esteem & Confidence TODAY!.. 100% FREE (for a limited time only)
      !
      Ok, did some changes and added 100%
      Thoughts?

      Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

      I am going to agree here, but maybe the addition of "Simple" into the main headline might do the trick. "4 Simple things you can do today..." streamlines the text, ( add simple pull start ) and it makes it more actionable I believe.


      Love Love Love to see people that get suggestions and put them to use WTG!
      Yes, "Simple" does sound better indeed. If you happen to get back to this post, check the new version out

      Originally Posted by onSubie View Post

      The bottom of the squeeze says: The FREE Report will be sent to the email address you submit above!

      But there is no place to submit an address because you have a 2-setp opt-in.

      I suggest switching this text and the text on the Opt-in pop-up.

      .
      Check it out, I think it looks better now (thanks for the notice!)


      I also changed the cover and it seems to look pretty frickin badass now

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      • Profile picture of the author savidge4
        Originally Posted by Munyez View Post

        Ok, did some changes and added 100%
        Thoughts?

        Looks good... so the obvious question... is it converting?
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        Success is an ACT not an idea
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  • Profile picture of the author Munyez
    Would love to hear any other feedback
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  • Profile picture of the author Munyez
    Created this one for FB ads targeting females



    LINK: http://beatsocialanxiety.net/self-esteem-f
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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Frei
    1. I'd recommend split-testing with and without the book image.
    2. If you do want to use the ebook, then why not make the cover more "goal-oriented"? A person having fun with a friend in a public place. What you have now looks depressing. Which does connect with what the people may feel, but it doesn't attract.
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    • Profile picture of the author Munyez
      Originally Posted by Alex Frei View Post

      1. I'd recommend split-testing with and without the book image.
      2. If you do want to use the ebook, then why not make the cover more "goal-oriented"? A person having fun with a friend in a public place. What you have now looks depressing. Which does connect with what the people may feel, but it doesn't attract.
      I thought depressing would make a more personal connection
      + annoying happy faces people see everywhere (ads, banners, articles etc).
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      • Profile picture of the author Alex Frei
        Originally Posted by Munyez View Post

        I thought depressing would make a more personal connection
        + annoying happy faces people see everywhere (ads, banners, articles etc).
        I'd say split-test it.

        My reasoning was that if the book cover looks depressing, then it makes contents look depressing too.
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        • Profile picture of the author Munyez
          Originally Posted by Alex Frei View Post

          I'd say split-test it.

          My reasoning was that if the book cover looks depressing, then it makes contents look depressing too.
          fair enough, will do the test
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          • Profile picture of the author Mikesweeney
            I personally think the bullet points and headline need some work. I would add some more curiosity and credibility elements. When I look at the bullets the first word that pops up in my head is "blah". No offense.

            Studying John Carlton's bullets will give you plenty of ideas of adding more "pop" to your fascinations. I just think the bullet points you have at the moment are a little too vague at this time. I think adding some specificity will help.

            - Mike
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            • Profile picture of the author David Rosa
              Originally Posted by Mikesweeney View Post

              I personally think the bullet points and headline need some work. I would add some more curiosity and credibility elements. When I look at the bullets the first word that pops up in my head is "blah". No offense.

              Studying John Carlton's bullets will give you plenty of ideas of adding more "pop" to your fascinations. I just think the bullet points you have at the moment are a little too vague at this time. I think adding some specificity will help.

              - Mike
              Totally agree with mike - I feel like you may not be totally in sync with what the market wants.

              I am a segment of your market, but it just doesn't draw me in.

              First point - you say "regain" assuming they had it, lost it, and now want it back. I'd go with "4 steps to Unshakable Self -Esteem and Groundbreaking Confidence"

              maybe not groundbreaking (seems a bit cornish)

              then the bullets seem bland when a hint of luke warm water.

              Hit those hot buttons which really plague them. What do they feel inside them physiologically? What battles are going through their heads? Why are they having trouble being who they are?

              What have they tried and failed at?

              what is the first question that goes through their mind when looking to get a better grasp of their self image/self esteem to have a better life?

              don't be afraid to dig deeper. The more specific, the better it all will be.

              I'd love to give you all the answers, being a self help nut - but who will learn that way.

              And you created the book, I know you've got the answers. Now it's time to make it shine!
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              • Profile picture of the author Munyez
                Originally Posted by David Rosa View Post

                Totally agree with mike - I feel like you may not be totally in sync with what the market wants.

                I am a segment of your market, but it just doesn't draw me in.

                First point - you say "regain" assuming they had it, lost it, and now want it back. I'd go with "4 steps to Unshakable Self -Esteem and Groundbreaking Confidence"

                maybe not groundbreaking (seems a bit cornish)

                then the bullets seem bland when a hint of luke warm water.

                Hit those hot buttons which really plague them. What do they feel inside them physiologically? What battles are going through their heads? Why are they having trouble being who they are?

                What have they tried and failed at?

                what is the first question that goes through their mind when looking to get a better grasp of their self image/self esteem to have a better life?

                don't be afraid to dig deeper. The more specific, the better it all will be.

                I'd love to give you all the answers, being a self help nut - but who will learn that way.

                And you created the book, I know you've got the answers. Now it's time to make it shine!
                cheers brotha, will do!
                Yes, I had suspicions regarding the copy (bullet points specifically) but looks like
                I will go over the entire copy once again and post the changed here.
                Appreciate the help

                Originally Posted by savidge4 View Post

                Looks good... so the obvious question... is it converting?
                3 registrations out of 5 clicks (60% conversion)
                I guess it is not that bad, huh?
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                • Profile picture of the author Munyez
                  This is what it looks like right now:

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                • Profile picture of the author Munyez
                  I know this is far from perfect but I feel like I am on the right track.
                  What do you guys think?
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                • Profile picture of the author savidge4
                  Originally Posted by Munyez View Post

                  3 registrations out of 5 clicks (60% conversion)
                  I guess it is not that bad, huh?

                  if that is where you are at... seriously don't change a thing
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  • Profile picture of the author David Rosa
    Yeah, nothing is ever set in stone - always split test. Keep sending traffic to both pages if you still have the other.

    3/5 is great so far - but not enough to determinate anything.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mikesweeney
    I would wait till you have had at least a few hundred people to your squeeze page before you make any conclusions. Always split test. You may want to consider testing two different offers as well. For example, turning your ebook into a video. Testing an ebook vs a Video etc. A lot of this depends on the traffic source as well.
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    • Did I miss something?
      Did you take your page down?
      I got a 404 error.
      Was curious as to the outcome of all the great suggestions here.
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      I have been around a long time on the Internet. You can usually find me @ Twitter and Instagram. I can be contacted on Telegram @ https://t.me/hivekeep

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  • Profile picture of the author WebOutGateway
    Im just curious of too many white spaces? is that planned? And since you are using almost white-all background, maybe you can use darker colors for buttons, texts, links just to make it balance. just make it harmoniously combined. All of these are in homepage anyway!

    Thanks.
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    • Profile picture of the author Cool Hand Luke
      Don't use the word "building".

      Your prospects don't want to BUILD anything.

      Why? Because It sounds hard, like it's work... And besides, they lack confidence already. Do you think they even feel capable of "building" a new, confident personality anyways?

      Your market doesn't want to build confidence, they want to HAVE it. They want to discover it. Get rid of the "building" in the headline.

      Also, being blunt: your squeeze page looks like sh**. Unprofessional and amateur-ish.

      Take that in the spirit it's intended and do yourself a favor by checking out some of the higher-converting squeeze page designs that professionals use (scope out lead pages).

      There IS a market for what you're offering but you'll only get a piece of it if you make some big changes.
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