Sales page not converting

Mark,

Briefly.. there's about a thousand and one Twitter guides.

If you want this to succeed, you've got to give the reader a reason to give a damn about YOUR twitter guide versus all of the others, all promising the same thing.

The design is a little too cutesy for positioning it as an "automated" money making machine. If the product really is all about hands-off Twitter automation this design will kill conversions.

For one... the hard edges of the pitch are incongruent with the "softness" of the images.

It would make a lot more sense if it was angled around the lighter, happier aspects of making money using twitter.

"Who knew making money online could be this much FUN?"

"How To Build A Gigantic Network Of Followers, Drive Waves Of Free Traffic To Your Website, And Effortlessly Cash In On The Most Fun You've Ever Had Online..."

I'm sure you get the point.

Good luck with it.

Brian

It's already been mentioned that this is a saturated niche.

Unless you can position your product in a different way than the thousands of other guides out there, you don't stand a chance.

There are really any specific benefits or promises on the letter 'Imagine being able to broadcast to your audience in seconds..."

Anyone who knows anything about twitter knows that's exactly what it's capable of... I see no mention of how or why this strategy is different.

Having accounts banned is a legitimate concern, so make it clear that this won't lead to a banned account (if that's true.)

Your guarantee needs to be higher up on the page, before you ask for the order.

Your testimonials need to be higher on the page as well... And since this is an online marketing type of product you shouldn't have problems asking people to post a url with their testimonial... This acts as an instant credibility booster to the testimonials.

Overall it's got a lot of work, but kudos for taking action.

-Scot

Hi

I am no expert, but here are my two cents- I don't like the background color, it matches the header and the testimonial box, but I think a silver grey or a very light blue would be better- if I spend more than 20 seconds on the page I feel it is depressing.

I feel the last testimonial which is quite strong should be directly under your heandline before you start the letter.

I think your bonuses could have a bit of a description written under them- there is a large chunk of white space that makes me feel something should be written there- it is somewhat unclear what the bonuses will do for the customer.

I think before the first order button you should have a bit about your guarantee, and how if they are not completely satisfied with the amount of followers / visitors/ sales they achieve after putting your guide into action they are entitled to keep both the product and the bonuses and get their money back etc, etc.

Some of it is interesting and makes me want to own it, but other parts are a little dull- I am sure with a bit of tweaking your sales will go up.