42 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
42 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Copywriting with a story

by rodpap
31 replies
Hi guys

So I've been studying a bit on copywriting lately, and it seems every required element could fit into a story.

Something like:

"Meet John,

John had a problem/necessity X and was unsure of how to solve it. Soon enough, he was able to fix it with Y. John was smart, so before buying Y he thought about bla bla and realized there was nothing to worry about.[you know the rest].

Bla bla good job Johnny

[story ends]

And if you're not Johnny, Y might also be for you because of bla ble blo [enter CTA and done]."

The reason I am asking is that I am a bit skeptical about it.I mean, a story would sure be able to capture some attention, but would it make someone get their wallets out?

I intend to write some copy to sell a book that offers a solution and I am wondering wether or not to make a short story.


So... yeah, that's it!

Thanks in advance guys
#copywriting #story
  • Profile picture of the author RealCasher
    Yeah I heard many good things about telling a story (best is personal story) can increase conversion rates.

    The hypothesis about this is taht emotionally charged stories would increase the perceived value of your content /product/service... you name it and therefore increase the conversion.

    I personally agree with this hypothesis, because storytelling is very important on the offline life, so why not online?
    Signature
    Get Weekly Payouts Stream -Using- My Autopilot Money Machine


    Discover & Jump into the 2015's Hottest Income Opportunity -- (Viral Stuff.)
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9917085].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    I think you're talking in terms of this kind of story:

    See Jane. Jane runs across the street. Jane runs very fast. Run, Jane! Run!



    In reality, the stories that really work are the ones that get you involved in them...

    ...wondering about them...
    ...identifying with them...
    ...rooting for them.

    If this golfing system works for a one-legged golfer, what kind of excuse do I have not to improve my game?
    Signature

    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9917117].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author The Fridge
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      I think you're talking in terms of this kind of story:

      See Jane. Jane runs across the street. Jane runs very fast. Run, Jane! Run!



      In reality, the stories that really work are the ones that get you involved in them...

      ...wondering about them...
      ...identifying with them...
      ...rooting for them.

      If this golfing system works for a one-legged golfer, what kind of excuse do I have not to improve my game?


      I have to thank you for this comment, angiecolee.

      This one aspect of marketing, has been a constraint on my business for weeks. I mean, copywriting, with a story.

      I'm just starting out, on my online journey. At this point, I'm at the frustrated and overwhelmed stage, of my business building. So rightly or wrongly, I'm the one-legged golfer, struggling to add value to my marketplace, without the "golfing system" that has worked for me.

      Looking at your example above. The example of the one-legged golfer. I guess I was having trouble with finding that "thing". I mean, I might be that one-legged golfer, but I still can't golf. How does that translate into me helping to improving my seemingly, two-legged golfing reader? The one without the would-be excuse of being one-legged.

      So, If I understand you correctly, I don't necessarily have to be the one-legged golfer, in the story.

      "...wondering about them...
      ...identifying with them...
      ...rooting for them."

      It is your use of the word "them" above, that I'm asking about.

      "If this golfing system works for a one-legged golfer" presumable a third person or is that a personal prospective? "a one-legged golfer, like me"?

      In the IM niche, It seems that, the copywriting is from a very personal/experiential prospective, presumable?

      Can I be the story teller, in the third person, and still get the reader to identify with "them" and not necessarily, be that person?

      Or have I completely miss understood the comment?

      Thanks for your help, in advance.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9942298].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
        Originally Posted by The Fridge View Post

        This one aspect of marketing, has been a constraint on my business for weeks. I mean, copywriting, with a story.
        Don't let a marketing tool hold you back. If you're not sure how to write copy with a story, then write it without. You can always come back to it later.

        But if it's something you've decided you definitely want to stick with then you need to do something about it:

        Read Power StoriesPower Stories and Business Storytelling for DummiesBusiness Storytelling for Dummies .

        Post specific questions here.

        Pay for an hour of a pro's time so you can get feedback and guidance on what you need to do.
        Signature

        Andrew Gould

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9944979].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author The Fridge
          Originally Posted by Andrew Gould View Post

          Don't let a marketing tool hold you back. If you're not sure how to write copy with a story, then write it without. You can always come back to it later.

          But if it's something you've decided you definitely want to stick with then you need to do something about it:

          Read Power Stories and Business Storytelling for Dummies.

          Post specific questions here.

          Pay for an hour of a pro's time so you can get feedback and guidance on what you need to do.
          Thanks for the advice Andrew Gould!

          If I look back at any of the marketing that I've resonated with, it is the use of the story within the marketing, which elicits that response with in me. I'd like to develop that skill/talent someday.

          I think that is why I was drawn to this thread, in the first place.

          I wounder if my interest in storytelling, has anything to do with the fascination I have with singer song writers like, Bruce Springsteen, Harry Chapin and James Taylor, among many others?

          But back to marketing, I will continue to look back at the many other post that you and the others that Angiecolee mentioned above, have made.

          Thanks again.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9948028].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Memetics
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      I think you're talking in terms of this kind of story:

      See Jane. Jane runs across the street. Jane runs very fast. Run, Jane! Run!



      In reality, the stories that really work are the ones that get you involved in them...

      ...wondering about them...
      ...identifying with them...
      ...rooting for them.

      If this golfing system works for a one-legged golfer, what kind of excuse do I have not to improve my game?

      Indeed, stories have been used for thousands of years as a method to bypass the brain's critical factor (BS detector) and deliver a persuasive message.

      Due to the mind's capacity to empathise with the thoughts and actions of others, a means of predicting how they will act in different circumstances is of huge social benefit during future interactions with them.

      To do this accurately we not only need an analytic logical approach but also the triggering of any specific emotions which may be occurring in another persons mind to trigger in our own mind.

      Basically we run a "simulation" and evaluate the outcome, then use that outcome as a mental frame to construct our own response or actions.

      The thing is though...when we're empathising an emotion in another, then that emotion isn't being mediated or inhibited by our own pre frontal cortex (critical factor) as we need the raw data to gain a more accurate picture of the other person's thought processes.

      The "ascribed" emotion then accesses our conscious mind just like the "real thing" and exhibits leverage on our beliefs and decision making processes; Just like good copy does.

      Here's a really good link on the science behind it all.

      Transportation theory (psychology) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

      And if you're interested in the really heavy stuff.

      Post-structuralism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
      Signature

      First we believe.....then we consider.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9947285].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Originally Posted by rodpap View Post

    The reason I am asking is that I am a bit skeptical about it.I mean, a story would sure be able to capture some attention, but would it make someone get their wallets out?
    A well written sales letter has numerous persuasion elements... each with a different purpose. They all work together to compel your readers to take a desired action.

    Tell a story that includes many of those persuasion elements. You'll find that your readers will be less skeptical, because they were included in a story.

    Alex
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9917347].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author CopyMonster
      There's a trainer. Wanted to sell his training services.

      Enough to make a decent living for himself, for his family.

      Problem? He didn't know how.

      He knew his training stuff inside-out. He even became a world champion.

      And yet he struggled selling it.

      Persisting he learned how to market. To sell his stuff.

      Mainly, he started writing stories.

      Got himself a nice high 7-figure a year business.

      True story.

      His name?

      See our next post...
      Signature
      Scary good...
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9917838].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author blazingP
        How can I join your list?

        Originally Posted by CopyMonster View Post

        There's a trainer. Wanted to sell his training services.

        Enough to make a decent living for himself, for his family.

        Problem? He didn't know how.

        He knew his training stuff inside-out. He even became a world champion.

        And yet he struggled selling it.

        Persisting he learned how to market. To sell his stuff.

        Mainly, he started writing stories.

        Got himself a nice high 7-figure a year business.

        True story.

        His name?

        See our next post...
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10060348].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author DarlanneCruz
    Telling a story that might be happening or will happen in the future to your customer is a very effective technique in writing content/copy.

    For example: One of your buyer personas is a SaaS CEO which is also a father of 2 young children. Children who are often complaining that their father don't have time for them anymore and came to the conclusion that their father doesn't love them.

    This breaks the CEO's heart and is now looking for a way to make time for his children at the same time still be able to work hard on his business.

    Now you enter with your product, an online time management tool. Starting with the painpoint I have mentioned above, you slowly and subtly introduce your product and how your product can help the CEO finish his work earlier and have the time to eat dinner and play with his children.

    That is creating content or copy through storytelling.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9924532].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
    Originally Posted by rodpap View Post

    The reason I am asking is that I am a bit skeptical about it.I mean, a story would sure be able to capture some attention, but would it make someone get their wallets out?
    Wallets out... now there's a story.

    There are so many talented copywriters on this forum and contributing to this thread that you should glean some juicy tips.

    I'm not a copywriter although some of my words have created big dollars at various times in my life...

    like

    No Aussies at Boomerang World Cup...

    ... even though Qantas is Sponsoring the Swiss team and Fosters Lager is sponsoring team USA...

    ...the Aussie Team can't find a sponsor.

    One day later $25K in bank - team goes to St Louis and World records are broken. We end up in Sports Illustrated and flying to New York to close the Today Show with Matt Lauer and Katy Couric in Rockerfeller Plaza.

    My son who was 9, at the time, also set a world record at the time, thinks that is what happens just naturally when you go to the States with your Dad.

    Make sure the story matches or triggers the response you desire.

    Just looking at Copymonster's post you've got an education right there, let alone Angie's comments, Alex and many others who may weigh in on this conversation...use their knowledge because it is hard earned.

    Studying the prospect and entering their internal conversation is the key and you need to determine what type of story will get the best response.

    The experienced copywriters whether through deep understanding or just plain hard grunt work and testing know how to reach in and wrap their words around your cerebral cortex so you can't just flick them off.

    That is a skill and sometimes it is better paying them for their skills than trying to develop your own even though you KNOW the theory.

    Thanks to the guys who do copy for money day in and day out...you rock !
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9924822].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author humantheme
    As Dan Kennedy would like to say - Some copywriters sell with stories, other sell without them

    Both Approaches work just fine...

    The questions your have to ask yourself is that - Is the story you're about to tell your audience, is that the most persuasive element in your hands?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9924830].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Originally Posted by rodpap View Post

    The reason I am asking is that I am a bit skeptical about it.I mean, a story would sure be able to capture some attention, but would it make someone get their wallets out?
    Stories are not just used to sell but to persuade in general. I guess the plot of the stories
    you referred to are very common to business opportunity type sales letters because
    they are very effective when used that way.

    But also you'll find that fund-raising letters use stories effectively as well because
    they are more effective that cold, hard statistics. So if you are raising funds for
    MAAD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) it's better to tell a story about a child
    kiilled by a drunk driver than to state that "in 2012, 10,322 people were killed in
    alcohol-impaired driving crashes, accounting for nearly one-third (31%) of all
    traffic-related deaths in the United States."

    People relate better to a story about one than a string of numbers.

    -Ray Edwards
    Signature
    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9925000].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author rodpap
    Thank you everyone for answering my question.

    I do understand now that it is all about what is bbeing sold, and what the situation is. Thank you vvery much
    Signature

    Improve your memory!

    http://www.mywaystoimprovememory.com/

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9925918].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author WritingKings
    Thanks for the insights here. I am starting to get really good at copywriting I appreciate all the tips shared!
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9929584].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    The Fridge -

    I think there was a bit of misunderstanding, but I can help clear it up.

    With the one-legged golfer story, I was referencing a John Carlton sales letter.

    By "them", I'm being a bit universal - them could be you, them could be a third person hero of your story. And there is no one right way to tell a story - people can be drawn into a story about people you know just as much as they'd be drawn in by a story about you.

    This next part will come across as a bit blunt: you're getting lost in details that don't necessarily matter. Is it a strong story? Does the audience resonate with it? Does it help clarify your product/service and position it as irresistable/the solution to major pain the reader is experiencing?

    There's a reason there's more than one point of view - no one is more important than any of the others. Tell a good story, and only wonder who's starring in that story to the point that they are interesting and relatable to your readers.
    Signature

    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9942994].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author The Fridge
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      The Fridge -

      I think there was a bit of misunderstanding, but I can help clear it up.

      With the one-legged golfer story, I was referencing a John Carlton sales letter.

      By "them", I'm being a bit universal - them could be you, them could be a third person hero of your story. And there is no one right way to tell a story - people can be drawn into a story about people you know just as much as they'd be drawn in by a story about you.

      This next part will come across as a bit blunt: you're getting lost in details that don't necessarily matter. Is it a strong story? Does the audience resonate with it? Does it help clarify your product/service and position it as irresistable/the solution to major pain the reader is experiencing?

      There's a reason there's more than one point of view - no one is more important than any of the others. Tell a good story, and only wonder who's starring in that story to the point that they are interesting and relatable to your readers.
      First of all, I truly appreciate your time and effort, in your answer, above. As I said, I'm just starting out. I worked in Corporate America and I've experiences blunt. Your answer was in no way taken as blunt. As a matter of fact, it's exactly what I need to hear. I'm just thankful for the help. So, thank you for the great feedback and help. Again I really appreciate it.

      Second, I guess I need to go find this "John Carlton sales letter" because I've never heard of it before. It sounds like a classic.

      I'm going to really study your answer above and really try to understand it fully.

      I hope you don't mind, if I continue to seek your counsel?

      Thanks again,
      Mark
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9943276].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
        Originally Posted by The Fridge View Post

        First of all, I truly appreciate your time and effort, in your answer, above. As I said, I'm just starting out. I worked in Corporate America and I've experiences blunt. Your answer was in no way taken as blunt. As a matter of fact, it's exactly what I need to hear. I'm just thankful for the help. So, thank you for the great feedback and help. Again I really appreciate it.

        Second, I guess I need to go find this "John Carlton sales letter" because I've never heard of it before. It sounds like a classic.

        I'm going to really study your answer above and really try to understand it fully.

        I hope you don't mind, if I continue to seek your counsel?

        Thanks again,
        Mark
        Post interesting questions and when I have time, I'll do my best to provide interesting answers. Study a lot of the other regular folks on here too - Raydal, RickDuris, Steve the Copywriter, Alex Cohen, ShawnLeBrun, Joe Golfer, Mark Pescetti, Andrew Gould, Brian McLeod, Marcia Yudkin, etc. (sorry if I missed anyone).

        There's an untapped goldmine lurking in these forums for people who know how to dig.
        Signature

        Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9944496].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
          Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

          Post interesting questions and when I have time, I'll do my best to provide interesting answers. Study a lot of the other regular folks on here too - Raydal, RickDuris, Steve the Copywriter, Alex Cohen, ShawnLeBrun, Joe Golfer, Mark Pescetti, Andrew Gould, Brian McLeod, Marcia Yudkin, etc. (sorry if I missed anyone).

          There's an untapped goldmine lurking in these forums for people who know how to dig.
          Apology accepted.

          Best,
          Doctor E. Vile
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9945768].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author The Fridge
          Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

          Post interesting questions and when I have time, I'll do my best to provide interesting answers. Study a lot of the other regular folks on here too - Raydal, RickDuris, Steve the Copywriter, Alex Cohen, ShawnLeBrun, Joe Golfer, Mark Pescetti, Andrew Gould, Brian McLeod, Marcia Yudkin, etc. (sorry if I missed anyone).

          There's an untapped goldmine lurking in these forums for people who know how to dig.
          I really appreciate your offer, Thank you.

          I will also check out the "folks" you mentioned about.

          I'm grateful for the advice.
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9947994].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author BlancWar
    Storytelling is just one of the kits in a Copywriter's toolbox.

    Remember AIDA?

    Well writing a story is a damn easy way to get the reader interested in what your writing. There's just something so magical about a well written story.

    The reader just wants to reach the resolution.

    But doesn't mean you need it.

    You can interest them with cool facts instead of a story if you wish.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9945468].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      Originally Posted by BlancWar View Post

      Well writing a story is a damn easy way to get the reader interested in what your writing. There's just something so magical about a well written story.

      The reader just wants to reach the resolution.

      But doesn't mean you need it.

      You can interest them with cool facts instead of a story if you wish.
      Sure, a story should be interesting, but it's more about using a story as a "wrapper" for the persuasion elements included in it.

      Alex
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9945753].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    I managed to forget the very reason I posted

    This is a great example of simple, but very well-written, story copy:

    You feel a jolt on the line and it whips up and out of the water as your reel screams. A hundred feet back, an immense blue monster explodes from the sea, thrashing from side to side, walking on its tail toward you before plunging from sight.

    "Marlin!" shouts the mate from the fly bridge. The rod bends and you suck in your breath, bracing yourself. You set the drag and the line straightens. You crank the reel in, then abruptly let out slack. Someone yells advice and encouragement but you can't understand a word of it.

    Your mind, your body, your entire being are concentrated on just that one thing now. And that is to win the battle that has begun.

    It could go on for hours or end suddenly, in minutes, with a snapped line or slipped hook. But, for as long as this struggle lasts, you'll give it everything you've got.

    When the battle is over and you've vanquished your marlin, you ask the mate to tag and release it - to help make sure future generations of sportfishermen are not denied the sheer enjoyment of doing battle, as you have, with a might creature of the sea.

    Sheer enjoyment: that's what Marlin, the magazine of big game fishing, is all about. And if that's what you're looking for in the favorite sport of Ernest Hemingway, Zane Grey and other seekers of adventure, I hope you'll accept our special money-saving offer.
    No need to overthink it - drop the reader straight into the action showing them something they already enjoy want to enjoy, transition out with some sort of "If you like that/if you want that to be you, then you'll like this", then make your big promise and continue with your copy as normal.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9945572].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    And Ewen! Can't forget my favorite Kiwi
    Signature

    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9945921].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      And Ewen! Can't forget my favorite Kiwi
      You've just become my second favorite Californian!

      The favorite goes to my friend who has adopted
      my sir name as author of a series of dark thrillers.

      Best,
      Doctor E. Vile
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9945999].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Steve The Copywriter
    Just a quick thought on the story thing…

    Yes, if you get it right it can work wonders.

    But remember people have a very low attention span.

    Ever considered why its only 140 characters on Twitter?

    So, your story has to grab them on the hurry up.

    (editors note - it shouldn't really be "your story" - unless it is amazingly enlightening. Instead it should be positioned as "their story")

    If you ramble on…and the kicker part is in the 3rd paragraph…

    Nobody will ever know.


    Steve
    Signature
    http://www.warriorforum.com/warriors...right-now.html
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9946260].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Slade556
    I agree with angiecolee! If a person can identify with the story, then your writing skills are a success!
    I also agree with the attention span. You'd have to be careful to keep things interesting throughout the story.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9946601].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dddougal
    Stories work. 90% of TV ads can't be wrong. They tell a story because it helps to resonate with their target..Whether you admit it or not, humans are lazy, most people don't like to have to think or use their brains and imagination so a story helps a lazy brain set a scene that the target could be part of or have been part of in the past....A scene with a problem...then the problem is solved as part of the story.

    If you look at TV ads, most have a story. They don't spend millions of dollars doing this for the fun of it, they do it because it works.
    Signature
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9948792].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
      Originally Posted by dddougal View Post

      Stories work. 90% of TV ads can't be wrong. They tell a story because it helps to resonate with their target..Whether you admit it or not, humans are lazy, most people don't like to have to think or use their brains and imagination so a story helps a lazy brain set a scene that the target could be part of or have been part of in the past....A scene with a problem...then the problem is solved as part of the story.

      If you look at TV ads, most have a story. They don't spend millions of dollars doing this for the fun of it, they do it because it works.
      It's not laziness, it's decision fatigue. Anything that helps make a decision easy and can help save some of that brain power for more important things is usually more than welcome. Stories are easy for people to understand and can help people make a decision or see themselves in a position where their problem is solved.
      Signature

      Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9948885].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Here's a story...

        ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never Worn.

        Attributed to Ernest Hemingway
        ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Packs a wallop of emotion in 6 words.

        Adding or editing it only takes it's power away.

        Unfortunately what passes as long copy today, is lazy copy.

        Best,
        Doctor E. Vile
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9950337].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dmaster555
    Pretend you used your product/service and it worked for you . Now you're excited to tell your friend .

    Imagine the conversation or even say it out loud and record it. Now write it down. Forget grammar, spelling , wording, everything . Just write it down.

    Now go back and edit, organize, remove details , add, work on format, etc.

    And use the checklist found as a sticky on top of this section.

    If you need to, use a proven successful sales page to model it after for now.

    Let's see what you get.

    You need to practice and not let all the little details keep you frozen in place.

    No matter how many questions you ask, how many books you read, if it's your first time writing a sales letter, you are going to write like a beginner (unless of course you are gifted ).
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9950349].message }}

Trending Topics