My First Sales Letter - Does it Pass? | Warrior Forum - The #1 Digital Marketing Forum & Marketplace

9 years ago

I would ask how would you get your message
in front of people when they have smashed their cars?

It's a very time sensitive opportunity
and most likely not looking for the
answer you've got for them.

Thoughts?

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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bryson

9 years ago

Hi Dr E. You are right with your assumptions. My plan is article marketing, seo, videos, social media. May take a bit to get the ball rolling.

My thoughts are if I can get my message out there in enough places I will get some traction.

Thanks
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angiecolee

9 years ago

Originally Posted by bryson

Hi Dr E. You are right with your assumptions. My plan is article marketing, seo, videos, social media. May take a bit to get the ball rolling.

My thoughts are if I can get my message out there in enough places I will get some traction.

Think about it. Really put yourself in your potential customers' shoes.

1) If I have not crashed my car recently, I don't care about your offer. So how are you planning to reach people that CARE about your offer? Throwing it out on the internet isn't much of a strategy.

2) I wrecked my car a few years ago. Minor fender bender, but a total loss on my car. I wasn't on the internet looking for articles. I was talking to friends and researching my car's value so I could put together a logical argument. Turns out they offered something more than fair and I didn't have to use that info.

And I'm only a small segment of the people that wreck their cars.

But again, think about it. I was just in an accident. I'm having to field phone calls from my insurance, THEIR insurance, possibly going to the doctor, filing reports, chasing down police reports, coordinating a rental vehicle, hounding the insurance adjusters, dealing with towing agencies....

When am I thinking to myself in all this hullabaloo, "I need to make sure I'm getting the total value of my car. I better turn to the internet."

You need to put your solution in front of their faces when they're actually facing the problem. Otherwise, you're just hoping that scattering seeds to the wind will bear some kind of edible fruit.

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by angiecolee

I was talking to friends and researching my car's value so I could put together a logical argument. .

I completely understand what you are saying about scattering seeds and I know I may be putting the cart before the horse.

Going back to what you said, you were researching your car value. Can I assume you were using the internet?

Getting in front of their faces when they care about the offer is critical since the window of opportunity is short. I am constantly thinking of ways to do this... any ideas come to mind?

My main focus is seo for related keywords and all the scattered seeds will support that program. I realize this is not a get rich quick niche. My goal is to get a steady growing return over the long run.

What are your thoughts on the sales letter?

Thanks
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angiecolee

9 years ago

Originally Posted by bryson

I completely understand what you are saying about scattering seeds and I know I may be putting the cart before the horse.

Going back to what you said, you were researching your car value. Can I assume you were using the internet?

Getting in front of their faces when they care about the offer is critical since the window of opportunity is short. I am constantly thinking of ways to do this... any ideas come to mind?

My main focus is seo for related keywords and all the scattered seeds will support that program. I realize this is not a get rich quick niche. My goal is to get a steady growing return over the long run.

What are your thoughts on the sales letter?

I was using KBB.org, specifically. Not just blindly searching for my car's value.

A trusted, authority site.

Not a random internet marketer.

That's the difference.

My point was what is your STRATEGY? Without one, fixing the sales letter is an exercise in futility, unless you're trying to build a writing sample portfolio.

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by angiecolee

I was using KBB.org, specifically. Not just blindly searching for my car's value.

A trusted, authority site.

Not a random internet marketer.

That's the difference.

My point was what is your STRATEGY? Without one, fixing the sales letter is an exercise in futility, unless you're trying to build a writing sample portfolio.

True KBB is an authority site unfortunately their "find your car value" feature is not reliable and should not be relied on. In fact, if you presented most insurance companies with the KBB value they would not accept it as proof of market value.

You and Dr. E have forced me to really think about the strategy and I want to thank you both for pressing me on this subject.

So this is where I am: I will be playing off KBB and Canadian Black Book. I have secured the domain totaledcarbookvalue.com. I will be working the seo to rank along side these two sites. For people who google Kelly Blue Book or Canadian Black Book will find my site ranking along side of these two authority sites.

I will populate the blog with helpful content/advice to build authority.

Thanks
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angiecolee

9 years ago

Originally Posted by bryson

True KBB is an authority site unfortunately their "find your car value" feature is not reliable and should not be relied on. In fact, if you presented most insurance companies with the KBB value they would not accept it as proof of market value.

You and Dr. E have forced me to really think about the strategy and I want to thank you both for pressing me on this subject.

So this is where I am: I will be playing off KBB and Canadian Black Book. I have secured the domain totaledcarbookvalue.com. I will be working the seo to rank along side these two sites. For people who google Kelly Blue Book or Canadian Black Book will find my site ranking along side of these two authority sites.

I will populate the blog with helpful content/advice to build authority.

True, but KBB along with an ASE Certified Master Technician boyfriend definitely help.

Again - how are you getting in front of people when they need what you're selling? It's going to take a lot of time and money to get ranked on Google.

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bryson 9 years ago

Originally Posted by angiecolee

Again - how are you getting in front of people when they need what you're selling? It's going to take a lot of time and money to get ranked on Google.

I have been doing seo as a side business for a number of years so it will cost me mostly time.

In terms of cash, it will involve building a blog network to push the site up in ranking. I would estimate no more than $500 to secure high pr domains to build it.

I checked the competition for those two authority sites and it should not be too challenging since they are not a niche within themselves.
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ewenmack

9 years ago

Originally Posted by bryson

Hi Dr E. You are right with your assumptions. My plan is article marketing, seo, videos, social media. May take a bit to get the ball rolling.

My thoughts are if I can get my message out there in enough places I will get some traction.

In which case the economics are going to work
against you for a one time low priced offer you
now have.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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bryson 9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

In which case the economics are going to work
against you for a one time low priced offer you
now have.

What you said has been on my mind.

The price is definitely too low to run any kind of ppc or other advertising. I have been considering adding on video modules to increase the perceived value.

The highest price point with the video add on I think would be $47?

I have also been considering adding a backend where I would "do it for you" at a price of $127.

Finally, I have also been considering working an affiliate platform like Clickbank or JVZoo,

All that being said, this is my first product so I am learning as I go.
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TjarkHartmann

9 years ago

Looking past the great points Ewen and Angie made...

A big hole in the actual copy is the headline sets up a "retired widow" story yet there's nothing about her mentioned in the body.

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by TjarkHartmann

Looking past the great points Ewen and Angie made...

A big hole in the actual copy is the headline sets up a "retired widow" story yet there's nothing about her mentioned in the body.

You are absolutely right, I will tie the headline to the body copy. Thank you.

Thanks

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splitTest

9 years ago

My $.02:

"Finally, The Exact System a Retired Widow Used..."

The "Finally" sounds contrived in that headline -- "ad speak". After all, no one is waiting for the "exact system a retired widow used to crush blah blah blah..." They might be waiting for many things eg. a simple way to prove the real cash value, etc., but not that.

...So the "Finally" is kinda out of place...

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by splitTest

My $.02:

"Finally, The Exact System a Retired Widow Used..."

The "Finally" sounds contrived in that headline -- "ad speak". After all, no one is waiting for the "exact system a retired widow used to crush blah blah blah..." They might be waiting for many things eg. a simple way to prove the real cash value, etc., but not that.

...So the "Finally" is kinda out of place...

Good point. The headline is actually true but will look at reworking it.

Thanks

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Andy The Copywriter

9 years ago

If this really is your first sales letter, it's probably the best 'first effort' I've ever seen. There are a few flaws with it, but it's quite good for someone's first attempt at a letter.

I agree with others in this thread however that there are issues with positioning.

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Andy The Copywriter

If this really is your first sales letter, it's probably the best 'first effort' I've ever seen. There are a few flaws with it, but it's quite good for someone's first attempt at a letter.

I agree with others in this thread however that there are issues with positioning.

Thank you. I owe my first attempt at a sales letter to buying Richard G. Lewis PsychoProfits WSO

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Complex

9 years ago

[DELETED]

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ewenmack

9 years ago

Nobody has shown us people buy this type
of information.

I was waiting to see if anybody could...
to give the benefit of my doubt...no such luck.

Therefore it violates the first law of business,
sell into a market where money changes hands.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by ewenmack

Nobody has shown us people buy this type
of information.

I was waiting to see if anybody could...
to give the benefit of my doubt...no such luck.

Therefore it violates the first law of business,
sell into a market where money changes hands.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

Here is a competitor claimbuster.com, The product is listed on Clickbank and sells for $17 on the website. Clickbank does show the product has sold.

There are plenty of "public adjusters". They represent policy holders and do cash value appraisals on vehicles.. The fees range from $150 to $300 for this service depending on the level of service they provide.

A market value appraisal is not difficult as long as you know the accepted steps to take.

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bryson

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Complex

I'm going to echo about strategy.

Letter's not bad. Headline grabbed me. Interesting. But unless I just crashed my car, who cares?

How do you get in front of them?

PPC would be costly.

And slim.

Without backend that's smooth, I don't know. Maybe someone will have some ideas. Not me.

Maybe the strategy would be to run with it to affs. Let them worry about the "where to find traffic" part.

Just focus on getting insurance affs. 100% commission and backend is yours.

Without them ...

(Just spit-balling)

Since my background is 15 years in appraisal, I am considering implementing a backend which would be offering to create a desk cash value appraisal myself. The fee would be around $120. I can create a short form car appraisal in about one hour.

Thanks

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Nikhil V Nair

9 years ago

Hi,

As others said, it seems to be difficult to reach
your target audience.

In my quick keyword research, I see people
searching for words with your main word
"total loss".

eg:

total loss car appraisal
total loss car value

If you can reach people who search for
these words, its possible to make sales.

Your situation is a good time to remember
the words of the legendary copywriter
Gary Halbert.

He said always look for a "Starving Crowd".

Always ask two questions before starting a project

1) Is there a Starving Crowd waiting to buy?
2) Can I reach them online?

Thanks

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[RyanMilligan]

Banned 8 years ago

As far as copy goes, test it. You don't know unless you try.

Getting the right eyes to that site to see the offer is a little complicated. SEO, you'll be going up against big insurance companies. They have money to burn. Lots of it.

Best bet is to try and source a list of people to email/sms that you know have had car crashes recently or have had several in the past (likely they could do it again) but technically that is spamming but you can buy those lists in certain places perfectly legally.

Thanks

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