here's my new squeeze page,i need your advice :)

9 years ago

1) The pic at the top-left... That's a pretty jarring disconnect from where they are now to where they (might?) want to be. A simple before-and-after would work better. Also, get rid of the website name at the top-right of the pic. Makes you look like you stole it from 'em. (Light-gray photo credits below the image would be okay if the image has Commercial Reuse rights.)

2) No dash is needed for "Hard Gainer".

3) ALL CAPS isn't needed. Neither is the "that" in that sentence. And it could use a little bit more emotion. "You're still skinny" could shift to "You're still disappearing behind bamboo" or something.

4) Throw in some teaser bullet points.

5) Don't have them click twice on the call to action. The forms for Name and Email should already be open. (Yes, I get the psychology of "get them clicking" or a "yes sequence". But don't do it here.)

6) Was your report really featured on ESPN, Ask Men etc? Don't put anything on the page that questions your credibility.

7) Toss the social media buttons at the bottom. You want them on your email list, not following you on Twitter.

8) The page sure looks empty... A better design should help increase opt-ins.

9) Whoa, almost didn't catch this one--why is "Train Hard Live Simple" stated TWICE on the tab?

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MikeFareez

9 years ago

Originally Posted by chillheart

1) The pic at the top-left... That's a pretty jarring disconnect from where they are now to where they (might?) want to be. A simple before-and-after would work better. Also, get rid of the website name at the top-right of the pic. Makes you look like you stole it from 'em. (Light-gray photo credits below the image would be okay if the image has Commercial Reuse rights.)

2) No dash is needed for "Hard Gainer".

3) ALL CAPS isn't needed. Neither is the "that" in that sentence. And it could use a little bit more emotion. "You're still skinny" could shift to "You're still disappearing behind bamboo" or something.

4) Throw in some teaser bullet points.

5) Don't have them click twice on the call to action. The forms for Name and Email should already be open. (Yes, I get the psychology of "get them clicking" or a "yes sequence". But don't do it here.)

6) Was your report really featured on ESPN, Ask Men etc? Don't put anything on the page that questions your credibility.

7) Toss the social media buttons at the bottom. You want them on your email list, not following you on Twitter.

8) The page sure looks empty... A better design should help increase opt-ins.

9) Whoa, almost didn't catch this one--why is "Train Hard Live Simple" stated TWICE on the tab?

__________________________________________________ _______________________

thank you so much for your advice CHILLHEART: so here's my reply:

for your point in 1,3.8=this dude is my inspiration actually:

(but he's sending his traffic from leadpage to sales page)

http://mi40xbuildmuscle.com/mi40x-a

__________________________________________________ ____________________

i like your advice in number 6 and 7=

i still remember back then when somebody said

that i'm better put a social media button just to "increase credibility" (blah)...

but what you said is right too,instead of trying to make them believe,

they also can questions my credibility....

i'm gonna fix that asap... thank's again sir

faz

Thanks

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DWaters

9 years ago

What is the attraction or benefit of the free repoet? I think you need some more incentive to get people to opt-in.

I do not like the picture. I find it unappealliing.

Those are my initial impressions.

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MoChandler

9 years ago

Third vote for sucky picture at the top. Most hard gainers don't want to look like Steroid Kings -- if they did, they'd just get steroids.

If you've already used the program, why not put your own picture up there? Or at least get a picture that looks more in line with what a slender physique+muscular gain looks like.

The all caps single bullet point is very generic. Why not start with a "How a 5'7 Asian guy blah, blah, blah." In other words, incorporate your own story into the landing page.

People who buy fitness products want to see results from real people -- at least I do, and I buy a lot of supplements and ebooks. I prefer stories from real trainers, real clients, versus generic copy. Weaving your own story in to the copy gives other hard gainers hope and gives the affiliate product more legitimacy.

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GlenH 9 years ago

Why don't you set up a 'survey squeeze page'.

Let your visitors answer a few questions about what their biggest roadblock is to packing on solid muscle.

Then you send then customized reply based on the answers they've given.

Straight away you've got visitor engagement, and you've started building a personal connection with your visitor /prospect right from the beginning, because they think you're giving answers to the specific problem they have.

This is super powerful, compared to offering up some generic free report.
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- savidge4 9 years ago
  
  I far more believe your post than I do your sales page.
  
  You state you are not just selling the system.. its the system you used to almost double your mass. I want to see YOUR before and after photo. I would like to see some text like - Downloading the free report below is your first step towards your before and after. If I can do it, so can you!
  
  forget all of the "Hard Gainer" and "Bad Ass" be YOU. take the ideals and concepts that YOUR url indicates... "Train Hard Live Simple"
  
  This page should have images message and a button... no indication of check your in box.. no your privacy... Image, Message, Button.
  
  Once clicking the button. some text like "Your Information is 100% secure. Make a change in your life and enter your name and e-mail below"
  
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sethczerepak

9 years ago

1) Put your "As featured on" at the top, above your "Are You a Hard Gainer?"
2) Make your CTA button yellow or orange to make it stand out.
3) Take down that picture of the hairless silverback gorilla lifting the boxcar sized dumbell and replace it with a real before and after of an ordinary Hard gainer who got all beefed up using your program.

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Ilenia Internet Marketer

9 years ago

Hello Mike,
very interesting topic, congratulations !!!

You should change something:

- Remove the "Big Jim" because a natural level it is difficult to get that result;
- Include testimonials with photos of before and after someone has already used the program;
- Under the call to action to add the space to enter the email, paddlers do not like having to click twice !!

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angiecolee

9 years ago

Mike - this is like the 4th or 5th (hell, I've lost track) time you've done this.

Stop making business decisions by committee (especially when you don't know who's advising you, what their own intentions are, or even if they have any qualifications or expertise in your field) and hire a coach or a professional.

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MikeFareez

9 years ago

Originally Posted by angiecolee

Mike - this is like the 4th or 5th (hell, I've lost track) time you've done this.

Stop making business decisions by committee (especially when you don't know who's advising you, what their own intentions are, or even if they have any qualifications or expertise in your field) and hire a coach or a professional.

______________________________________________

Yes i admit,almost 5 times...
thanks for the advice but i don't have that much money
To hire a professional coach...

Thanks again

Thanks
1 reply

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angiecolee

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeFareez

______________________________________________

Yes i admit,almost 5 times...
thanks for the advice but i don't have that much money
To hire a professional coach...

Thanks again

Then I really hope you're thoroughly investigating the people advising you and the things they're advising you to do. If you keep making every single change people recommend to you, you're never going to have money to make it better.

Handy hint: model on success, but don't blatantly copy it without understanding WHY it worked for them.

1) copies are always just "off" and come off as inauthentic. Your user may not know WHY it seems off to them, but they'll KNOW it's off.

2) you need to sound like you in order to carve out your own niche. How do you sound like you? By not trying to sound like everyone else.

EDITED TO ADD:
Listen to Sean.

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MikeFareez

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Ilenia Internet Marketer

Hello Mike,
very interesting topic, congratulations !!!

You should change something:

- Remove the "Big Jim" because a natural level it is difficult to get that result;
- Include testimonials with photos of before and after someone has already used the program;
- Under the call to action to add the space to enter the email, paddlers do not like having to click twice !!

Originally Posted by angiecolee

Then I really hope you're thoroughly investigating the people advising you and the things they're advising you to do. If you keep making every single change people recommend to you, you're never going to have money to make it better.

Handy hint: model on success, but don't blatantly copy it without understanding WHY it worked for them.

1) copies are always just "off" and come off as inauthentic. Your user may not know WHY it seems off to them, but they'll KNOW it's off.

2) you need to sound like you in order to carve out your own niche. How do you sound like you? By not trying to sound like everyone else.

EDITED TO ADD:
Listen to Sean.

__________________________________________________ _

Thanks a lot angie

I never seen this kind of advice in my experience with WF..

You teach me how to think ,how to learn the correct
way before start doing this and this...

thanks again

I'm already listen to sean,big thanks to him because
taking his commitment making a review video for me..

__________________________________________________ ___

But hey,do you has any email marketing course that
you can recommend ?

Or are you also a marketing coach ?

Thanks
1 reply

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angiecolee

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeFareez

__________________________________________________ _

Thanks a lot angie

I never seen this kind of advice in my experience with WF..

You teach me how to think ,how to learn the correct
way before start doing this and this...

thanks again

I'm already listen to sean,big thanks to him because
taking his commitment making a review video for me..

__________________________________________________ ___

But hey,do you has any email marketing course that
you can recommend ?

Or are you also a marketing coach ?

I'm happy to help - it's super critical to UNDERSTAND the changes you're making, otherwise you're going to be on the never-ending hamster wheel of frustration, constantly wondering why what you're trying just doesn't work.

1) Model on success, true. But know why it worked. If someone created the wheel and you want to make yours too, don't just copy all the materials but decide that your unique element is that it should be block-shaped and 4-sided.

It's not going to work, even if everything else is the same. And that's simply because you didn't see that being ROUND was what made it work. Not having an axle. Not being made of stone or whatever other material you both used. ROUND is what made the wheel work. Round is where you need to start.

2) To answer your question, yes I do coach people from time to time.

3) Tim brings up a good point - what next? You don't have to build out everything advance, but at the minimum you need to have a plan and not be hinging everything on a landing page you never seem to be quite finished with.

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Sean DeSilva

9 years ago

Hey Mike, I checked out your page and give you a few quick pointers here:

2015-05-22 18h16_42 - YouTube

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MikeFareez 9 years ago

Originally Posted by Sean DeSilva

Hey Mike, I checked out your page and give you a few quick pointers here:

2015-05-22 18h16_42 - YouTube

______________________________________________

Hello sir,thank you so much for giving your commitment
Making a review video about my squeeze page...

That kind of commitment can be worth 100 dollar
and you're giving it free to me...

Thanks again
- Thanks
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Tim R

9 years ago

The same problems still exist as last time you asked for feedback.

Forgetting the opt-in page for a moment, it's the review page that you send them to after that's an ever bigger problem. At the bare minimum you need a native-speaking proofreader to fix up this mess.

Not for a moment does it look like you've put on almost 30kg of muscle judging by your photos. Maybe 10kg at the most. Straight away your credibility is gone.

There's just so many problems going on here that I can't see any way you're going to figure this out for yourself and come up with something that converts cold traffic.

If you can't afford to hire a copywriter, or a coach as Angie suggested, then you can't afford to pay for traffic.

Do you have a system in place on how you're going to monetize the list you want to build? Because if you're just relying on recommending this product you've got a long, hard road ahead of you.

You simply haven't got the writing ability to be effective in this competitive market if you're only sending people to this sales page. And if you've created an autoresponder sequence I imagine that's got many of the same problems.

Not trying to be negative here man, but I think you're focused on the opt-in page when that's the last thing you should be worried about. Getting people to opt-in is easy... it's what you do after that which will determine whether you actually make money or not.

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MikeFareez

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Tim R

The same problems still exist as last time you asked for feedback.

Forgetting the opt-in page for a moment, it's the review page that you send them to after that's an ever bigger problem. At the bare minimum you need a native-speaking proofreader to fix up this mess.

Not for a moment does it look like you've put on almost 30kg of muscle judging by your photos. Maybe 10kg at the most. Straight away your credibility is gone.

There's just so many problems going on here that I can't see any way you're going to figure this out for yourself and come up with something that converts cold traffic.

If you can't afford to hire a copywriter, or a coach as Angie suggested, then you can't afford to pay for traffic.

Do you have a system in place on how you're going to monetize the list you want to build? Because if you're just relying on recommending this product you've got a long, hard road ahead of you.

You simply haven't got the writing ability to be effective in this competitive market if you're only sending people to this sales page. And if you've created an autoresponder sequence I imagine that's got many of the same problems.

Not trying to be negative here man, but I think you're focused on the opt-in page when that's the last thing you should be worried about. Getting people to opt-in is easy... it's what you do after that which will determine whether you actually make money or not.

_______________________________________

1) dude,thanks for the great advice

2)problem my review website ?

Like my transformation photo ?

Come on ! Why would I lie ?
Do they even know the term of "bulking" and "cutting"
In the fitness world ?

Like i said in my review,i'm still in
Bulking.. not all my 39kg up to 65kg is totally muscle.hahaha... claiming like that was totally b.s...
And like i said also,the progress is still running

Well I think you got a point too,perhaps i need to change my
Transformation photo...

______________________________________________

Yes I admit that there's a lot of grammar error,
i'm hiring a translator actually but probably he didn't
serious doing his job...

okay so that's my confession and I admit that,
so what else do you see in my review website ?

Thanks
1 reply

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Tim R

9 years ago

Originally Posted by MikeFareez

2)problem my review website ?

Like my transformation photo ?

Like with the whole site. It's virtually unreadable.

Come on ! Why would I lie ?
Do they even know the term of "bulking" and "cutting"
In the fitness world ?

Like i said in my review,i'm still in
Bulking.. not all my 39kg up to 65kg is totally muscle.hahaha... claiming like that was totally b.s...
And like i said also,the progress is still running

People lie about this stuff all the time. The market is skeptical. Your site does nothing to address that skepticism.

The fact that you claim 65 kg equals 174 lbs. is a massive red flag that you are either lying or don't know what you're talking about.

Think about it like this. Vince claims that when he went from 'Skinny Vinny' to his muscular physique he put on about 45 lbs. He probably has 6 inches of height on you and a bigger frame, and the difference in his photos is huge.

Yet you are claiming you put on around 60 lbs. on a much smaller frame but in your photos you look pretty much the same. Can you see the problem with this?

You're talking about starting with a body mass index of 13, which is the absolute bare minimum to keep you alive. If you were really that height/weight you would barely be able to function, let alone play rugby, which you appear to have no trouble with.

Make your stats at least somewhat believable.

Well I think you got a point too,perhaps i need to change my
Transformation photo...

If you have different photos then use them. You need to show as much proof as you can. What you have now doesn't cut it.

Yes I admit that there's a lot of grammar error,
i'm hiring a translator actually but probably he didn't
serious doing his job...

I can't tell if you're saying you are planning to hire a translator or you already did. If you already did then ask for your money back because you got ripped off.

okay so that's my confession and I admit that,
so what else do you see in my review website ?

You seem to be missing the point again and again. You can't make some changes to this site and just fix it. You need to look at the overall picture. None of the advice you get on here will address your biggest issues, you need to hire a professional.

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MikeFareez

9 years ago

Originally Posted by Tim R

Like with the whole site. It's virtually unreadable.

1) damn ! is that really virtually unreadable ?

actually im trying to make a review article like this:

The Complete Six Pack Shortcuts Review | Six Pack Shortcuts - Complete Review

"question" like "Why I Wrote This Six Pack Shortcuts Review"

then "explaination"... that's my favourite type of review article actually...

but is that really virtually unreadable ?

__________________________________________________ ___________________

People lie about this stuff all the time. The market is skeptical. Your site does nothing to address that skepticism.

The fact that you claim 65 kg equals 174 lbs. is a massive red flag that you are either lying or don't know what you're talking about.

Think about it like this. Vince claims that when he went from 'Skinny Vinny' to his muscular physique he put on about 45 lbs. He probably has 6 inches of height on you and a bigger frame, and the difference in his photos is huge.

Yet you are claiming you put on around 60 lbs. on a much smaller frame but in your photos you look pretty much the same. Can you see the problem with this?

You're talking about starting with a body mass index of 13, which is the absolute bare minimum to keep you alive. If you were really that height/weight you would barely be able to function, let alone play rugby, which you appear to have no trouble with.

Make your stats at least somewhat believable.

If you have different photos then use them. You need to show as much proof as you can. What you have now doesn't cut it.

I can't tell if you're saying you are planning to hire a translator or you already did. If you already did then ask for your money back because you got ripped off.

You seem to be missing the point again and again. You can't make some changes to this site and just fix it. You need to look at the overall picture. None of the advice you get on here will address your biggest issues, you need to hire a professional.

true.. i think i need to hire a professional...

you got any affordable mentor that you can recommend to me ?

what about you tim ?

__________________________________________________ ____________________

Thanks
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Enfusia 9 years ago

I've been training for decades and know the industry.

I'm going to contradict much of what's been said here.

Having a pic of Branch Warren with a large weight does impress. Branch is short but he does carry some size and he is pretty strong. He's usually in the top 10 at the shows so people know him.

I would test this. I would split test it against other images. But I think you'll find that your image will do just fine.

You can't use an older pic of Frank Zane or any of those guys because then your prospects will think it's old school info.

The only other guy you could use would be Mike O'Hearn but you better get his permission. In truth he has the physic that most guys really want.

Patrick
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here's my new squeeze page,i need your advice :)

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