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Help -Dramatically Improve Sales Letter

by dariusdarius
9 replies
Hi guys,

I've tested my sales copy with around 5k quality visitors and it doesn't convert good at all.

Here it is

How would you improve it?

I appreciate serious opinions and I am open.

Darius
#dramatically #improve #letter #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Complex
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
      Originally Posted by Complex View Post

      Go search and see how many old letters you can find just like that collecting dust online. I haven't worked any self-help spaces since about '08 or '09 ... but back then, your letter and offer would be VERY generic. And that means, it's gotten worse. Cuz if there were 1,000 like yours back then, there are probably 10,000 now.

      Make it pop. Make it unique. Make it worth reading.

      Right now, it's none of the 3. Then, start testing other things. But I'd scrap it and start all over. Just cuz it's basically similar to what you get from a $ 7 PLR package for self-help stuff. (The letter and offer are almost identical to what I've seen sold in cheap PLR in that space.)
      Hi,

      Thanks for critique,I appreciate it

      Any starting points?
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  • Profile picture of the author nmwf
    Do you remember seeing a sales letter somewhere online that almost made you pull out your credit card?

    Go back to that website and study it. Then apply (NOT copy) what you learned to your own sales letter.

    What you have right now is a first draft. And that's okay. Go make it better.
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    Write comprehensible articles on *any* topic in seconds with First Draft...
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  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    Folks, Darius really needs help. He isn't just a freebie-seeker. He's experienced and he's serious.

    He hit me up privately and candidly, I'm not a fit. But maybe you are. I encourage you to reach out to him privately and see if you can help him.

    But do it, only if you know how to approach this opportunity from fresh perspective that you have high confidence will convert against affiliate traffic. More of the same won't fly.

    - Rick Duris
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    • Profile picture of the author bigbass
      Banned
      I would love to help. I sent you a PM and I am confident as I have won many WSO of the day awards with my high converting sales letters as well as I have 8 years of experience. I am not a newbie copywriter that follows a template. Hope to hear back from you.
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      • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
        Originally Posted by bigbass View Post

        I would love to help. I sent you a PM and I am confident as I have won many WSO of the day awards with my high converting sales letters as well as I have 8 years of experience. I am not a newbie copywriter that follows a template. Hope to hear back from you.
        What WSOTD's have you won?

        Curious.

        -Cam
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        • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
          Originally Posted by Cam Connor View Post

          What WSOTD's have you won?

          Curious.

          -Cam
          Hi Cam,

          I've sent you an email and I would like to talk more about it.

          Darius
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      • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
        Originally Posted by bigbass View Post

        I would love to help. I sent you a PM and I am confident as I have won many WSO of the day awards with my high converting sales letters as well as I have 8 years of experience. I am not a newbie copywriter that follows a template. Hope to hear back from you.
        Hi,

        Thanks for the PM and check your email, I've sent you a reply.

        Darius
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    • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
      Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

      Folks, Darius really needs help. He isn't just a freebie-seeker. He's experienced and he's serious.

      He hit me up privately and candidly, I'm not a fit. But maybe you are. I encourage you to reach out to him privately and see if you can help him.

      But do it, only if you know how to approach this opportunity from fresh perspective that you have high confidence will convert against affiliate traffic. More of the same won't fly.

      - Rick Duris
      Hi Rick,

      Thank you very much for taking the time to talk to me privately on skype and here on this thread.I really appreciate your honesty and professionalism.

      Like you said, I'm not here to make anyone lose time, I just need help putting this course back on track because as of now, the conversions are really low, I think the lowest of all the products I've ever sold online.

      The course itself is high quality so I really want to get back on track, because affiliates trusted me and honestly, I disappointed them.
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  • Profile picture of the author dariusdarius
    Hi guys,

    I am still open to ideas and critique.Unleash the beast!
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