Help improve my postcard copy

How is the card being distributed?

gjabiz

I like it. But maybe move the 'Trade In Your Kitchen Like A Car' to the top and put it in big red bold letters, 36pt Red Tahoma.

Then put the subhead with the 'Get up to 3000 etc...'

Answering gjabiz.

Why reinvent the wheel?

https://www.google.com/search?newwin....0.rMQKbpn6rRM

- Rick Duris

PS: For some reason, I found this relevant as well:

http://www.warriorforum.com/offline-...l#post10312061

Alan, I understand your situation and I'm going to challenge you.

What product or service could you offer that would cost under $250 to homeowners? An offer that would get people to call you and allow you to have a conversation with them directly or indirectly about their kitchen?

Give it some thought.

Because here's the problem: Getting people to pick up the phone for a purchase opportunity that would cost thousands is a tremendous hurdle.

There's no trust. There's no relationship. Not to mention kitchen remodelers have a reputation for being unscrupulous.

What you need is a foot-in-the-door offer.

For instance, one of the things I did for a kitchen remodeler was write a letter to the home owner offering a special deal on the re-polishing of the homeowner's kitchen granite counter top.

It was a great example of their work ethic, professionalism, trustworthiness, etc.

That example may or may not be appropriate for you.

Just a thought.

- Rick Duris

1. Is this a cold or warm sale? That headline is a little too ambiguous for a cold sale. What's my "old kitchen"? What's a "Meister"?

2. There are a few pieces on this postcard that look like they're written in German--replace it with English.

3. There's a FREE offer being advertised here--but it's not highlighted prominently enough. The FREE offer should be mentioned in the main headline or a sub-headline.

4. The second side is better. But when you look at this postcard it seems there are at least 3 separate offers:

- $3000 credit.

- FREE design.

- Enter to win a $5000 kitchen.

There's too much going on here for one postcard IMO, it needs to be simplified.

I'm with Jesse -- I think the "Trade In Your Kitchen Like a Car" makes a pretty intriguing headline.

You have to catch your target's eye if you want them to read your offer, and (without knowing much about the kitchen upgrade market), I think that headline is eye-catching. The "Get up to £3000 for your old kitchen when trading up to a Meister" works well as a subhead beneath the main header...

I think Andy makes a good point also, about too much going on there... Most copywriting experts recommend sticking to a single offer... You have enough material for two postcards. But I don't comment on marketing strategy...

Anyhoo -- other less consequential stuff I'd change includes:

- Stuff like "No purchase necessary but all clients during the promotion will be automatically entered and will receive a refund of £5000 if successful" could be written more smoothly..

- Don't capitalize the "H" in "But Hurry as entries will close soon"... Random capitalization and typos always look unprofessional to me. Home renovations can be a nightmare of unprofessionalism, so why not come across as professional as possible from the very start?

- "Meister are a local family company"... Shouldn't it be "Meister is a local family-owned company"?

- "To see what a superb Meister Kitchen would look like in your home book your FREE design NOW"... Perhaps it's because I'm not in the remodeling business, but I'm not sure what a "free design" is... "Free design consultation"? "Free design session"? Do you come to the home? Maybe your target market will thoroughly get it, but I think this free bonus could be spelled out a bit. A better descrip might even add to its perceived value.

- In the first green box, the space between the two paragraphs is gigantic. The designer should close that up a bit. Also looks like that pic with the lady is really low-res. Just sayin'.

- I won't be a stickler about the punctuation, but I think the absence of punctuation at the end of a couple of your sentences is a little awkward. And missing commas can make a sentence read "run on"... See my note about professionalism above... Yeah, yeah -- none of the typos/punctuation stuff counts, says WF... that's why all fortune 500 advertising is chock full of typos & such.

Anyway, regarding this part:


Not to put you (or Ewen) on the spot, but -- can't resist my curiosity -- did the card work? Based on the thread here, I see that you started the project back in May... Was it a worthwhile venture?

Sorry to be nosy, but I'm always interested in how the story ends.

And as long as we're on the subject: Don't forget that the point of copywriting is not creativity -- it's sales. If a repurposed concept has a great chance of success, would you ask your copywriter for something more original instead? Gotta go with what works -- and if it continues to work, go with it again!

Anyway, not instigating -- just curious to know if that card worked, since you brought it up.

I really like the postcard, especially the second page. I'm not that convinced about the colors (green and yellow) , but other than that, it's good in my opinion.

Thanks Platt, I didn't like the colours either so they've been changed

How does this read and how's the punctuation.




when you trade up to a Meister Kitchen!


You can now trade in your old kitchen just like you trade in your old car when you're buying a new one!

That's because we now buy every used kitchen on behalf of a pre-owned kitchen company for recycling, earning
you valuable cash whilst lowering your carbon footprint

Good for your pocket ----- Great for the planet!

Meister is a local family-owned company that specialises in affordable luxury kitchens
Book your FREE design visit now...
And see what a difference a Meister Kitchen would make to your home! Phone: 0800 0775050

Email: info@meisterkitchens.co.uk

Web: www.meisterkitchens.co.uk


Don't worry about the layout , the printer will sort that out
I was going to offer a free luxury worktop upgrade to the first 10 purchasers/ responders . How would you word that ? and whereabouts in the text should I place it