Email Selling SEO to Small Food Business - Please help

8 replies
subject ideas:

Subject: 1200 hungry people looking for bagels
subject: 1200 hungry people couldnt find your business
subject: how would 1200 customers affect your business?
subject: we couldn't find your bagel shop.
subject: take some of bagelbum's customers
subject: hi

Good morning,

According to google keyword statistics, each month there are 1200 people searching for the keyword "fresh bagels in smallville".

(insert picture)

At the moment, bagelbum.com is on the top of the front page for this keyword, meaning that a large percentage of these visitors are visiting this site and going to them for business.

Unfortunately, your website is on the third page, which according to google will receive less than 5% of visitors searching for that term. Over 70% will stay on the first page.

If you would like over 1200 people searching for bagels in your city on google to find your business, contact me.

I have the solution for you.





this is my first email like this, so any help is appreciated and will be implemented.
please be critical dont hold back tell me everything!
#business #email #food #selling #seo #small
  • Profile picture of the author ChadHaynes
    I don't mind "You're missing out on 1,140 potential customers a month" or something like that as a subject line.

    But it could certainly be better.

    Subject lines take time and this is a free critique though, so I leave that up to you. There are abundant resources on the web about crafting killer subject lines.

    As for the body copy...

    Scrap the good morning and get straight to the meat.

    Lead with the problem as they understand it:

    You're missing out on HUNDREDS of customers.

    Explain further:

    Each month, 1,200 people are using Google to find FRESH BAGELS in Smallville...

    ...but less than 5% of those people will find YOU.


    Agitate:

    Right now, hungry people are fantasizing about delicious, buttery bagels just like the ones you bake every day.

    1,200 people a month are ACHING to find a store that can satisfy their lust for quality, fresh-baked bagels.

    They're ready to pay. They're looking for YOU. They're on a quest to find their one-stop bagel shop so they can keep their bellies (and your cash register) full.

    But only 60 of those people are going to find you. The rest? They're off to another bagel store.

    It's not fair! No matter how hard you work, or how delicious your bagels are... ONE THING is pointing 1,140 people a month straight to your competitors.
    -- Do better than this. Find out what their pain points are, and hit those pain points where they hurt most.

    End with a strong, specific CTA:

    Luckily, it doesn't have to be this way. You can RECLAIM those 1,140 people a month RIGHT NOW!

    Just click below:

    I'm tired of slaving away in front of a hot oven just to lose 1,140 customers a month to inferior bagel stores!
    - Hyperlink this to a landing page, or whatever.

    Use a P.S. to make the whole pitch again briefly.

    P.S. I can make sure 1,140 extra people a month find YOU, and not YOUR COMPETITION, just by fixing this ONE THING.

    Go through, edit to include language that appeals to the senses, use action verbs, etc.

    Tighten.

    IF you end up using this and making a bunch of money, send me a cut yeah?

    Cheers,

    - Chad
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Sorry guys, you are making the same common mistake
      on the first message sent out when selling a intangible service.

      The mistake is saying too much
      which has the effect of turning off people.

      This is fixed by asking a very innocent, non threatening
      question...

      Like...

      Can you take a group of 6 people next Monday evening?

      There's a lot going behind a question like that.

      If you want more,
      let me know and I can let you in on it.

      Best,
      Doctor E. Vile
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      • Profile picture of the author ChadHaynes
        Reminds me of the example from the "Get Cheese. Avoid Cats." episode of I Love Marketing.

        Can't remember what the overall strategy was.

        EDIT: This one http://ilovemarketing.com/wp-content...rketing-24.pdf
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      • Profile picture of the author salesfart
        Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

        Sorry guys, you are making the same common mistake
        on the first message sent out when selling a intangible service.

        The mistake is saying too much
        which has the effect of turning off people.

        This is fixed by asking a very innocent, non threatening
        question...

        Like...

        Can you take a group of 6 people next Monday evening?

        There's a lot going behind a question like that.

        If you want more,
        let me know and I can let you in on it.


        Best,
        Doctor E. Vile
        I see how this works. I can't tell if that was part of the email or you're talking to me but it dam sure makes me very curious and yes I want more.


        Also, chadhaynes thanks for the response really helped me understand that concept great example!
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      • Profile picture of the author Complex
        [DELETED]
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        • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
          Originally Posted by Complex View Post


          But they'd also be hard-pressed to pay for SEO.
          Salesfart, Complex is right.

          Takes lot's and lot's of extra bagels sold
          to pay for a seo service, therefore it's hard
          to justify the investment.

          On the other hand, if you were doing it for a luxury yacht broker,
          one extra sale will justify your service for months.

          Why do you want to go after food places?

          Best,
          Doctor E. Vile
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          • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
            This is a response to Chad's private message, so all can benefit.

            The BIG idea on making first contact with a business
            is to break the whole process down into small steps.

            For example if you are going to a bigger sized business where you
            don't know know who the real decision maker is, then that's
            your first step.

            It's the step Brian Kruizberger took to digital apps
            to companies like Bank Of America, GE, MacDonalds, P+G,
            Burger King, Home Depot, Western Union and others.

            When you are going into small businesses and where you identify
            who the decision maker is, then you still start off with one small step.

            What's included in the step is dependent on if it's a product or service
            they are already using, or not using and their level of awareness about it.

            So, if they are using the product, in my case point of sale machine paper,
            then the aproach is the same in person or email...

            Hi [nsame], who should I be talking with there about getting you a better deal on eftpos paper?

            That's useful for the person who isn't the decision maker because she has the right information
            to help her in her role.

            There's a benefit wrapped up in a question.

            That's the step we take in my company which supplies paper for the
            point of sales machines. It's how we got Puma and 6 of NZ's biggest brands as clients.

            If the company isn't using a product or service, then there needs to be a much more thought out approach.

            One way is to gauge interest.

            This can be done by making yourself associated with someone
            your prospect knows.

            This would play out like...

            {Name], our mutual friend [name] suggested we should talk about how
            what I've done in [whatever results you've had] may apply to you to.

            Let's set up a 5 minute talk to quickly see if this would or not apply to you.

            How's your calendar looking?

            Best,
            [ Name]
            [business name]
            [phone]


            On the call you aren't pitching the whole deal either like in the original post.

            You are just gauging interest to see if you'll put the full/part of presentation
            in front of a qualified person.

            You've probably heard it takes 8 follow ups to make a sale,
            well this is part of it which matches a buyers buying process.

            Forcing your sales process onto a different buying process
            kills any chance of making a sale.

            This is understanding your environment you are going in,
            so you can match the right steps to take.

            Different environments require different steps to work.

            Best,
            Doctor E. Vile
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  • Profile picture of the author jessegilbert
    Banned
    I like 1200 hungry people looking for bagels
    or maybe 1200 hungry people with money to spend looking for bagels in smallville

    Ewen may have a better stealth strategy here as businesses probably get a lot of emails from online marketers offering to help them with computer generated messages.

    not sure.
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  • Profile picture of the author ChadHaynes
    Masterful. Thank you Ewen.
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