application for writing thesis on a company. Criticize and help plz!

by mosd
3 replies
How can this application be changed with copywriting to make it more appealing for the mangers to want to participate?

Any help is appreciated!

Who am I?
I am X, a student of Stockholm University within the bachelor program Business & IT and also a fellow Klarnaut of yours working part time at CS Payments. At the moment I'm writing my bachelor thesis and with this mail I would like to examine the possibility of conducting the case study research with Klarna and Service Center as my chosen case of study.

What is the study about?
Basically what I want to study is the different dimensions of knowledge sharing and how it is affected by organizational culture. For those not familiar with the concept of knowledge sharing it's simply put the process where individuals (in the scope of my study, it also relates to groups, departments and organizations) share relevant information, ideas and expertise among each other. Research regarding knowledge sharing shows significant advantages with effective knowledge sharing such as, for example, gained competitive advantage and cost reductions. This makes understanding and managing knowledge sharing important for organizations. An example of when good knowledge sharing would be beneficial for you as a team manager is when introducing new employees to the daily work tasks. Here good knowledge sharing compared to bad knowledge sharing would result in a shorter required period of training but with at least as much being learned and thereby having the new employees up and running quicker.

How will the study be conducted?
The exact design of the study is not completely determined, but at the time being I am planning for conducting both a survey and 5 to 10 one hour long semi-structured qualitative interviews.

What do I seek from you as a manager?
Simply put, I would like to ask for your approval to investigate your team's culture/climate and how it affects the knowledge sharing between your employees. If you would like your team to participate in this study it would result in me borrowing one or two of your senior employees for an hour long interview as well as asking them to answer a (approximately) 10-15 minute long internet survey.

What will I guarantee you?
First and foremost, I want to make it clear that this study will be completely anonymous and neither Klarna as a company or the participants will be mentioned by name or even described in such detail that it could jeopardize the participants anonymity. The thesis' only aim is to study how organizational culture affects knowledge sharing and therefore won't judge how the studied teams conduct their business or conclude a right or wrong way to manage a team.

When will this study be conducted?
During december so basically as soon as possible. The absolute latest for being part of the study is the first week of january.

Finally:
I hope I covered and answered all of the concerns you might have with participating in my study, if you have any questions or feedback please feel free to contact me at X and I will gladly answer!

Regardless of whether you and your team are interested in participating in my studie, please submit your answer by pressing the green button below, even the submission of a no answer would help me out in establishing the interest.



Hope to hear from you soon!
#application #company #criticize #plz #thesis #writing
  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    You've probably gotten zero answers because it's unclear what you want here.

    What is this? Where is it going? What are you trying to achieve with it? Who's going to be reading it?

    Vague questions and then a giant block of text without context does not make for a good critique.
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    • Profile picture of the author mosd
      Originally Posted by angiecolee View Post

      You've probably gotten zero answers because it's unclear what you want here.

      What is this? Where is it going? What are you trying to achieve with it? Who's going to be reading it?

      Vague questions and then a giant block of text without context does not make for a good critique.
      actually 3/4 answered yes to the application.

      It was for a friend. He wanted to interview the managers at a company.
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  • Profile picture of the author angiecolee
    OK, even your answer doesn't tell me much.

    What were YOU hoping to get out of this exactly?
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    Aspiring copywriters: if you need 1:1 advice from an experienced copy chief, head over to my Phone a Friend page.

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