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Worst piece of copy I've read in years!!

by Raydal
24 replies
Just came from this website that I was pitched in an email and really can't believe how off the copy is. Five minutes into the VSL I have no idea what this "incredible piece of code" does, and I'm no amateur when it comes to online marketing. Whichever copywriter did that copy should be jailed. Talk about CONFUSION.

ReClick App - Early Bird LIVE!!!

-Ray Edwards
#copy #piece #read #worst #years
  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Great thread title though.

    It's like gossip.
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  • Profile picture of the author splitTest
    "Get Ready to Receive Shocking Diarrhoea of Leads & Sales in Days"

    Great line. And the misspelling of "diarrhea" only adds to my confidence in the product.

    Hey -- if you gotta receive diarrhea, better hope it's at least the shocking kind.
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    • Profile picture of the author dhsmartadv
      Originally Posted by splitTest View Post

      "Get Ready to Receive Shocking Diarrhoea of Leads & Sales in Days"

      Great line. And the misspelling of "diarrhea" only adds to my confidence in the product.

      Hey -- if you gotta receive diarrhea, better hope it's at least the shocking kind.
      There are a few typos, but that one is the best
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    • Profile picture of the author modgerody
      You got to admit the actual VSL "video" (not the dialogue) is actually pretty well created.

      Probably could have done without the "Beast on Crack" line though lmao
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  • Profile picture of the author irawr
    Banned
    That's weird, I closed the page and then came back 5 minutes later and the timer still said 1 Hour and 37 Minutes. This tool appears to create shadowbox popups, I usually just edit some existing code when I need one and it takes a few minutes, but apparently I need to outsource an entire team of people for that? That really helps my confidence, I didn't know that I'm a team of people? Wow.

    They got the price point right at least, I was thinking 50 bucks, they want 57.

    Originally Posted by splitTest View Post

    "Get Ready to Receive Shocking Diarrhoea of Leads & Sales in Days"

    Great line. And the misspelling of "diarrhea" only adds to my confidence in the product.

    Hey -- if you gotta receive diarrhea, better hope it's at least the shocking kind.
    I know when I am considering buying a piece of software I want the mental image of not only diarrhea, but shocking diarrhea. Also, after thinking about it carefully, doesn't that mean my sales and leads will be sh1t using this software? I'll be shocked my sales and leads are so sh1t? Where's my credit card?
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    • Profile picture of the author splitTest
      Originally Posted by irawr View Post

      I'll be shocked my sales and leads are so sh1t? Where's my credit card?
      You'll be so excited about your sales you'll need a diaper..
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  • Profile picture of the author mustafavanancio
    It's a behavioral segmentation marketing system which aims to re-capture, re-engage and re-market. Sister of the famous Mints App which sold over 7500 units.

    I'm sure it could be improved but it's not doing too badly right now.

    It's converting at 8.58% with 2000+ sold on the front end and 15.61% and 3500+ sold on the back-end at $50 a piece. 2.76% refund rate. That's a minimum income of $275,000 according to JVZoo stats.
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    • Profile picture of the author splitTest
      "Cloud Hosted for You to Start Enjoying the pperience Immediately at Only $57 Today (Regular Price) "

      "pperience"...Yeah, that's copy converting at over 8%...

      Sure... With a vsl that has just 1,680 views as of this posting, according to Youtube...

      Damn thing must have great copy elsewhere... Would love to see it... Links?
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      • Profile picture of the author mustafavanancio
        Originally Posted by splitTest View Post

        "Cloud Hosted for You to Start Enjoying the pperience Immediately at Only $57 Today (Regular Price) "

        "pperience"...Yeah, that's copy converting at over 8%...

        Sure... With a vsl that has just 1,680 views as of this posting, according to Youtube...

        Damn thing must have great copy elsewhere... Would love to see it... Links?
        The front end sales are showing up as 2000+. The back end sales which are 3500+ could have come from the same front end customers. Not everyone watches the video. Some people prefer to read the sales copy. That would explain the number of views.

        Either those figures are accurate or JVZoo is experiencing a major glitch with their stats.
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  • Profile picture of the author SEOpeasant
    With all due respect, I've seen your copy and this sales page is better than ones I've seen you do.

    It is actually performing decently for being the "worst piece of copy" you've read in years. You may want to look closer.
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    • Profile picture of the author mustafavanancio
      Originally Posted by SEOpeasant View Post

      With all due respect, I've seen your copy and this sales page is better than ones I've seen you do.

      It is actually performing decently for being the "worst piece of copy" you've read in years. You may want to look closer.
      With all due respect, you can't judge someone's copy just by looks alone.

      It's the market that decides how good it is by voting with their wallets.

      Ray has achieved some good conversion rates for his clients. It would not be wise to judge him without knowing what conversion rates and sales he has achieved.
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    • Profile picture of the author Raydal
      Originally Posted by SEOpeasant View Post

      With all due respect, I've seen your copy and this sales page is better than ones I've seen you do.

      It is actually performing decently for being the "worst piece of copy" you've read in years. You may want to look closer.
      If I were the only copywriter who thought so I would have given your comment
      some credence. But I posted this in the most popular FB Copywriter group and
      the vast majority of copywriters agreed with my assessment.

      And only cowards hide behind an anonymous account and make comments like
      yours. At least you know how to identify my copy.

      -Ray Edwards
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  • Profile picture of the author 1Bryan
    I've seen plenty worse on Click Bank. Is it great copy? No. Is it selling? I don't know. If it is, then it's doing it's job. I don't take too much stock in online copywriters groups.

    Because let's be real - most are "bloggers" at heart.

    They couldn't sell a damn thing in person.

    If you are in sales?

    Sales matters. Nothing else. As far as judging a pitch/piece.

    "Looks" or "how it reads" doesn't really matter. The writing is a means to an end - the sale.

    And that kinda product/presentation does work pretty well.

    Especially because most of the audience is coming pre-sold by whatever affiliate their on the list of.

    So ...

    Much ado about nothing in my opinion.

    You don't know the sales numbers and are going off your opinion and maybe the opinion of a few "copywriters" who probably blog more than they write sales copy.

    Meh.

    (Notice my typos? Guess what - they don't matter much if the point gets across. Which is the point, but everyone points out typos in judging copy on here anymore. Bloggers, lol. Not sales folk.)
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    • Profile picture of the author splitTest
      Originally Posted by 1Bryan View Post

      I've seen plenty worse on Click Bank. Is it great copy? No. Is it selling? I don't know. If it is, then it's doing it's job. I don't take too much stock in online copywriters groups.

      Because let's be real - most are "bloggers" at heart.

      They couldn't sell a damn thing in person.

      If you are in sales?

      Sales matters. Nothing else. As far as judging a pitch/piece.

      "Looks" or "how it reads" doesn't really matter. The writing is a means to an end - the sale.

      And that kinda product/presentation does work pretty well.

      Especially because most of the audience is coming pre-sold by whatever affiliate their on the list of.

      So ...

      Much ado about nothing in my opinion.

      You don't know the sales numbers and are going off your opinion and maybe the opinion of a few "copywriters" who probably blog more than they write sales copy.

      Meh.

      (Notice my typos? Guess what - they don't matter much if the point gets across. Which is the point, but everyone points out typos in judging copy on here anymore. Bloggers, lol. Not sales folk.)
      "Hey -- check out this great piece of copy!"

      "Is it selling? I don't know. If it is, then it's doing it's job. Sales matters. Nothing else."

      "Hey -- check out this terrible copy!"

      "Is it selling? I don't know. If it is, then it's doing it's job. Sales matters. Nothing else."

      ... So why have a copywriting discussion board?

      That piece Ray pointed out is not great copy. Takes reading it halfway through to get any inkling of what the product is or what it does. The only claim it makes is "I'm going to get you sales and make you money" over and over and over...

      No appeal to credibility whatsoever, right down to the references to diarrhea and typos right in the headlines. Weak, convoluted opener. No respect for the time or skepticism of the reader...

      (Though I'll backtrack a bit on my original comments & give them a pass on the spelling of "diarrhoea"... Turns out "diarrhoea" is a valid alternative spelling to the usual "diarrhea"...)

      "But before that, we stuggled"

      "Imagine paying for traffic or sending email blast to offers only loose 70% - 95% of that entire work. "

      They made so much cash using a product that's so thorough (they claim), yet they can't afford a spell-check, and make common dumb mistakes like using "loose" instead of "lose"...?

      Ok -- maybe copywriters can't be blamed for typos. ...But the structure of the copy & sales arguments leave a lot to be desired too... Perhaps it's more accurate to say that the piece is bad advertising overall, including bad copywriting...

      For example, if Merrill Lynch or Cisco Systems put out an ad with diarrhea references, chock full of typos, everyone would agree on that...

      Only in the alternate reality of WF does stuff like that not matter... In fact, it helps!

      ...Now, do I believe the "zoo" sales numbers? 8% conversion rate? I really can't say, because I'm not a member of the zoo & not all that familiar with it.

      I will say, however, that internet marketing is such a bastion of honor and integrity that it's outrageous to suggest that the author of any product would bolster the numbers by buying their own units, or use some other "black hat" method to make the product seem more successful than it is...

      Two or three percent is good response in most direct marketing... Eight to 50% is apparently typical in internet marketing...

      And let me add: if that page is selling well at all, they must be sending a diarrhea-load of traffic to it. Driving traffic is probably the real secret to success, far more powerful than copywriting...

      ...But my main point is this: I hope that page is doing exactly as well as the "zoo" indicates it is... Because if it is doing well, performance like that is within the reach of us all...

      More power to them. Not hating. Just talking shop. Hope the writer isn't a member here...

      ...& btw, I don't claim to know it all, so if anyone thinks they know why copy like that would convert at 8%, do us all a favor & break it down... I'd love to learn that secret!... Merrill Lynch and Cisco would probably pay millions to learn it too!
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  • Profile picture of the author Quality Copywriter
    ye- big long headline a real turnoff

    plus all that guff at the beginning of the script...
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      This thread is an example of hired guns pontificating
      what's wrong and what could be done better.

      Sometimes we gotta let go of what we know and let the numbers
      be our true guide.

      Example 1: At Gary Bencivenga's retirenment seminar
      which had the who's who of A-List copywriters there,
      were asked to judge/guess which promos were the winners
      from the split tests.

      Many got them wrong.

      Example 2: This is in website design. This is straight out of a freak show,
      yet it is the number 1 car leasing website in the UK...
      check it out if your eyes dare...

      CAR LEASING CHEAP LEASE CARS SALES CAR LEASING CHEAP BUSINESS HIRE DEALS

      Best,
      Doctor E. Vile
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      • Profile picture of the author irawr
        Banned
        Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

        Example 2: This is in website design. This is straight out of a freak show,
        yet it is the number 1 car leasing website in the UK...
        check it out if your eyes dare...

        CAR LEASING CHEAP LEASE CARS SALES CAR LEASING CHEAP BUSINESS HIRE DEALS

        Best,
        Doctor E. Vile
        I think that site works because "it's so bad it's good." That site is absolutely hysterical, but I would never lease a car from it. Then again, I buy my cars new and with cash, obviously I'm not the target market. Unless it's a truck, or a company vehicle, that's different.
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        • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
          Originally Posted by irawr View Post

          I think that site works because "it's so bad it's good." That site is absolutely hysterical, but I would never lease a car from it. Then again, I buy my cars new and with cash, obviously I'm not the target market. Unless it's a truck, or a company vehicle, that's different.
          yeah...

          to quote re-chuck

          It's a "Beast on Crack"

          bit of an up-chuck kind of experience....like the VSL

          Maybe it is like the Nigerian scammers.

          They worked out to make it so obvious it's a scam because they don't want to have to work with people with any level of intelligence.

          It gives them a lower click through rate....

          ...but those that click fit their ideal target .

          With re--click they've worked out their market and numbers...well at least the people behind it are very experienced at scraping up money off their poor victims.

          It would be interesting to see inside the paypal account of the promoter to see how many people threw up and refunded.

          Are the stats any platform shows 100% legit when they are getting paid to process the payments?

          A bit like Kim Jong-un.

          100% support from everyone....guaranteed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
    Ling Valentine is one of a kind and any entrepreneur should try to cut through with their individual style.

    Ling knows the power of promotion.

    Even if anyone was to copy the style they would only serve to promote her business.

    You can ready more about ling here:
    How I use publicity stunts to promote my online car leasing business | Marketing Donut
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  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    the trashiness has such an unaccidentally artsy veneer, an' you gotta figure on how meticulously this has been crafted.

    it is IN YOUR FACE, but i see nuthin' in the shock of visuals that is 'out of place' with the overall look.

    audaciously self-salicious, it spins wickeedo on the possibilities thrust forth from the pre-net era mediapool into the emergin' multimediaspool.

    i am tryin' to be dead here, but it ain't workin'.

    the world is a propulsatory unfoldin' of creation.

    woopy doop.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff togethah.

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  • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
    Mints App and this ReClick were created by Precious NGWU. His reputation proceeds him, you can do a simple google search and form your own opinion.

    Check out one of the OTO's here: MintsApp Bundle Deal (ReClick Exclusive)!

    Apparently Nicholas Cage and House gave testimonials, but under alias names to protect their secret hobby of internet marketing.
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    Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

    The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Here is another WF thread with a common theme of "confusing".

    http://www.warriorforum.com/internet...eclick-bs.html

    -Ray Edwards
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    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author niksto82
    I avoid this kind of stuff whenever I can. Better to die ignorant than to be spammed.
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