What is letter is better or about mistakes

What is letter is better?

Letter 1
Dear (customername Sir / Madame)
Thank you for using Our Product.
With your permission, I would like to add your name and link your website to the list "Goodly examples using Our Product". It`s help convince our future clients that they can benefit from working with DetailedReview extension.
You will receive certain benefits (more than just +1 in karma) too. What are the other benefits?
Obviously (clearly), you get more interest to your site, it is traffic. And the ranking your site increase too. But you will get more.
Now the confidence it is important for customers. Often, they are looking for more information about the online store. Link to your store on our site it is a real proof of your customer care. Because you improve your online store for customers, helping them. This will be an additional argument for your customers and they share their opinion about you with friends and followers. It really works in modern world.
Can I am will hope to get (will be have) your permission? It will be a good continuation of our cooperation (или partnership).
(как вариант Hope I am will to get (will be have) your permission, and it will be a good continuation of our cooperation (или partnership).)

Working with clients like you makes my business a great joy. Thank you for your time.
Best regards

CEO


Letter 2
Hello %name%,

You are currently using the Our Product extension for %store url% store and hopefully it adds a value to your business. We are about to release new major version of the extension and plan to commit a lot of effort both in the development and popularization of the product. As part of the the product development strategy we are offering the key clients to be mentioned on the homepage of the extension in the "Applied Solutions" section. Actually no action is needed from your side except simple "OK" in reply to this email - we will handle the rest and validate the result with you.
Why you should bother at all?
You will receive additional citation for the search engines and some amount of additional traffic. That will not likely make any drastic difference but it's free so why not?
You will be among the first customers who will receive a newly released version of the extension.
Having not only demo but also real use cases to be shown will increase customer's confidence in our product and will give an example of "success story" which ultimately lead to the additional customization requests which in order means new great features to be added to the extension (you know that the extension upgrade packages for the major xxxxxx release are free, right?).
Growing What is letter is better direction (with your help here) will lead to the allocation of the additional resources from our side and thus we will invest even more in the our customer care and support program.
Please spend a couple of minutes to drop us a line. Even if you are not willing to grant permission it will be useful to hear the feedback.

Best regards
CEO

I think it`s letter has some mistakes. What you think about?