Care to look at my website?

by 16 comments
Hey everyone. I'm starting a business where parents can text education questions to our team, and we'll design a lesson plan for them to teach to their child. The thought process is that instead of paying $40+ for an hour of tutoring, they get personalized lesson plans to do it themselves for only $29.99+.

On Wednesday I have an ad going out on a podcast to 20 thousand married women. The talking points for the ad are
  • Great Parents Teach (Join these parents)
  • Do You Know What To Do When Your Child Is Struggling? (Fear)
  • Text the problem and you have the lesson plan that night (imagine yourself using it)

I just want to reinforce the website to make the message clear and consistent throughout. If you could look at my website, I would really appreciate it.

TeachByMe | Helping parents teach.

Everything on the site has been made by me, and I've been learning as I go, so I really appreciate the feedback. I've done a lot of reading (The Science Of Advertising, CA$HVERTISING) and am trying to implement different practices.

Right now I think the main thing I need is a picture of a mom and child doing school work together, and a list of the benefits. A lot of what I tried doesn't look good though.

Regardless, tell me what sucks, and what copy I should change throughout. I'll update it as you recommend, and update you all on the results of the advertisement.
#copywriting #care #website
  • Profile picture of the author markhimeb
    Did a quick audit for you. Here are my suggestions:
    1. Improve your loading time. Site loads slowly and you'll lose ppl because of this
    2. Increase bottom padding in your Header.
    3. Yes, you need a better background image. I'm sure you'll find one --your theme is easy.
    4. Consider changing your favicon. Put a transparent one, as that white bkg doesn't look good.
    5. Your youtube video loads forever. I'm not sure why this happens.
    6. Add a Blog. This should be your gateway to showcase your work, your caring for children and how you can help parents teach their kids. It will also help you improve your SEO.
  • Profile picture of the author Alango
    [DELETED]
  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    I think your site looks good. And as a parent, I love what you're doing.

    Although, as a direct response copywriter I only have one minor suggestion...

    The Headline "Great Parents Teach" was the first thing I read, and it didn't really offer me an immediate benefit.

    I do see where you're going with it (trying to offer me an opportunity to join a group of other "great parents")
    And it would make a wonderful sub-headline. But, being the first words I read they left me a little "unemotional" and uncertain of "what's the benefit you're offering me?"

    Perhaps a more emotionally charged, benefit driven headline, along the lines of...

    Parents, help your children succeed in school - and in life!
    Join the new generation of parents who take education into their own hands.
    Great Parents Teach
    <button> Start your free trial </button>

    Of course, that's just off the top of my head, and it's not the best headline. But do you see where the first line offers an immediate benefit?
    That's what we need to strive for if we want to grab the attention of busy people these days.
    Because we only have about 2 seconds to get your visitors interested in reading more, or they might click away.

    Hope this helps, because I really do think you're doing a great thing, and I do want you to succeed.

    All the best,
    SARubin
  • Profile picture of the author Tanner Vander Velden
    Originally Posted by SARubin View Post

    I think your site looks good. And as a parent, I love what you're doing.

    Although, as a direct response copywriter I only have one minor suggestion...

    The Headline "Great Parents Teach" was the first thing I read, and it didn't really offer me an immediate benefit.

    I do see where you're going with it (trying to offer me an opportunity to join a group of other "great parents")
    And it would make a wonderful sub-headline. But, being the first words I read they left me a little "unemotional" and uncertain of "what's the benefit you're offering me?"

    Perhaps a more emotionally charged, benefit driven headline, along the lines of...

    Parents, help your children succeed in school - and in life!
    Join the new generation of parents who take education into their own hands.
    Great Parents Teach
    <button> Start your free trial </button>

    Of course, that's just off the top of my head, and it's not the best headline. But do you see where the first line offers an immediate benefit?
    That's what we need to strive for if we want to grab the attention of busy people these days.
    Because we only have about 2 seconds to get your visitors interested in reading more, or they might click away.

    Hope this helps, because I really do think you're doing a great thing, and I do want you to succeed.

    All the best,
    SARubin
    Very good point, and I really like this wording. I appreciate that you appreciate what I'm trying to do too. Teaching and helping children really is my passion. Thank you Sarubin!
    Originally Posted by markhimeb View Post

    So, SARubin gave you the changes you must do to your wording. Great contributions, SARubin.
    Some great advice all around. After work tonight I'll be making the updates, and I'll add another post so you guys can check it out.
  • Profile picture of the author Tanner Vander Velden
    Alright, I made some big updates.

    Favicon updated, header padding updated. Got a new background image and implemented it. I'm really proud of this part.

    Changed the wording as well. Now it's


    Teach your children like a world class Educator.

    Help them succeed in school - and in life.

    Join the new generation of parents who are taking education into their own hands.
    <button> Start your free trial </button>



    I also removed the "free lesson" part, because I already offer two weeks free. It was mainly there to collect emails.

    I'm going to instead add a pop up window with something like "Join our monthly drawing for free children's books. Enter your email here".

    For the "What's TeachByMe" part, I did have it taken out and replaced with

    Do You Know What To Do If Your Child Is Struggling In School?
    We offer...
    • Personalized Lesson Plans
    • Unlimited Homework Help
    • Long Term Goal Setting
    • Confidence Building and Emotional Help
    All A Text Message Away

    I removed it because I'm still trying to figure out how to implement it on the site and make it look nice. The standard way looks too much like a sales copy, and the background image behind it didn't fit well. I think I'll redo it tomorrow with icons for each point and have them listed horizontally.

    Also, since I can't implement a blog that quickly, I'm going to instead add myself to the "About Me" page. I'll have a picture of myself, and a few short paragraphs about why I love teaching kids and why I started the company.

    Would love more feedback. Does anyone have input on the video? I think it looks pretty amateur (because it is) and I'm not sure if it will help or hurt me. Also considering adding a "How it works" page.

    EDIT: Site optimization is incoming. Once I have it "finalized" (I wish) I'll work on making it load faster.
  • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
    As for speed you can always use something like Cloudflare.

    My one observation is you haven't added a crucial part to most of your copy.

    the "Which means" part.

    You've got a lot of problems and solutions but you don't have the reason or additional emotional triggers for each of your statements.

    Here are a few examples if I'm not clear in what I say

    YOU SAY --->

    Teach your children like a world class Educator.

    Help them succeed in school - and in life.

    Join the new generation of parents who are taking education into their own hands..

    I'D ADD something like --->

    Which means they won't stumble during that life changing job interview 10 years from now.

    or.

    In the SMS.

    So you won't have sleepless nights worrying about their next math test.

    People like reasons why.

    You can do this across all your features and benefits. This would strengthen the emotional side.

    best regards,

    Ozi
  • Profile picture of the author Tanner Vander Velden
    Hey everyone.

    So the podcast has brought a resounding 0 visitors.

    Feeling really bummed out. Think they might have lied in their media kit. Not sure if I should dispute it .

    The struggle for traffic continues!
  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    OP, your Home page is WAY too busy.

    There's just too many call to actions going on at the same time which is distracting.
  • Profile picture of the author Kay King
    Let me add another perspective - "too busy", yes...but also, not enough detail.

    First thing I wanted to check on was "about us"....visitors do that when you are selling 'expertise'.

    What I find is "we are teachers"...no names, no resumes, no experience of courses or grade level mentioned. But you post "Everything on the site has been made by me"...how many teachers are involved and what are their qualifications and experience? WHERE are those teachers located? You don't say in the "about me" or in the "FAQs".

    ON your "student info" questions you ask the student's name, etc - many parents will stop right there. I would. If someone has signed up you have the parent's personal info - many cautious parents are not going to give the names of their children. Seems to me "teachers" would know that.

    If there are several people involved - I'd suggest a few brainstorming sessions to highlight and detail the VALUE of your service and ways to provide detailed site content that reflects that value. Stop thinking about "selling" for the moment (this is a very new site) and focus on creating a site full of information and encouragement for parents of students who are struggling.

    Final comment: In my view, this is an example of an over designed site. The huge graphic header, slide show comments - the one question at a time info about kids - the FAQs page that requires clicking for every answer (and, again, with few details) are meant to make the site look good and be 'interactive'. That's great in moderation but doesn't work for me on this site.

    Parents who are concerned enough to get help in teaching their children are educated enough to look for who and what is behind the "lessons". I think you have a good idea but it's not well enough developed. Instead of an examples page of what parents might ask - why not feature REAL lessons plan examples that would address a certain question...

    Sorry to sound negative - you've got a good start but it's only a start. You need more and it's takes time to adjust and test and get a "service" site going.
  • Profile picture of the author Princess Balestra
    "Parents, teach your children like a world class Educator."

    Fine but what if ur frickin' stoopid?

    "Help them succeed in school and in life!"

    Right now, school IS their life.

    "Join..."

    Who cares?

    As a parent,
    you're a 24/7 teacher.


    The best deal for your kids begins with you.

    So why not get started
    on how you could be a better educator
    for the people you love most?


    [green button]
  • Profile picture of the author Tanner Vander Velden
    Just saw the comment about it being too busy. I agree.

    I think one of the issues I face is that I'm always trying to add more to the site, and always trying to incorporate different things, always trying to follow different methods, that I just cant think straight and get something good down.

    If I'm being honest, nothing has made me think "wow I'm ******* stupid for even trying this" as much as this website has. I keep hitting walls where I feel like I should just give up
    (like right now), but I'm not going to.

    I'll take everything you guys are telling me and apply it. I mean it when I say that I really appreciate this feedback.

    Do you guys have specific things I should remove from the homepage?

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