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When to break from sales letter formula?

by DavidO
6 replies
Conventional sales letter formulas (AIDA, 12-step) call for you to get attention, describe the problem (to increase the "pain" and build empathy), maybe tell your story, and only then introduce your solution.

It's a great strategy and it obviously works. But it requires great writing. If you're only a mediocre writer or if you don't nail the market right (even the pros sometimes get this wrong) you're going to lose visitors before they even get to see your solution.

This is a huge problem for many of us. I think a lot of marketers don't realize this. You may have a great product and offer but most visitors probably don't ever see it.

So a different strategy is to introduce your solution straight away. Put a nice product image, main benefits/features and even price (if it's lower than your visitors would expect) above the fold.

Obviously this changes the whole balance of your sales page. If you're firing all your best shots above the fold how do you subsequently tell a story, build empathy and trust and call to action?

I've tried this second strategy many times and it's always flopped so I go back to a conventional sales letter. But the fact that many visitors leave early without seeing my solution really bothers me.

Of course the best solution is great copywriting, and I'm working on this.

But, in the meantime, any suggestions on how to deal with this?
#break #formula #letter #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh
    Hey David,

    First of all you don't want to "break the rules"...

    Understanding human psychology when they first hit the page is part of being a good copywriter.

    If you just stick a product image with a few bullet points and a buy button above the fold you're killing your chances at building trust, desire and credibility.

    When most people hit your sales letter for the first time they have no idea that your product exists or how it can benefit them... The very first sale you have to make is selling the prospect on taking the time to read your sales letter.

    That's not an easy sell to make. People value their time and unless they're into copywriting they don't go around reading sales copy for fun.

    That's why hooking them with a headline is so important... They have to be able to take one look at the headline and be curious enough to start scanning the copy. From there the copy has to be exciting and engaging enough to keep them reading, ultimately build up that trust and desire and then close the deal.

    If this is the same site that I looked at a few months ago here's what I'd do...

    I just took a look at it, not sure if you've changed it up completely or are just testing. The headline you're using isn't terrible, but I have a hard time believing that it can't be improved upon. That's one way to double your response or more. Come up with as many good headlines as possible and start testing them.

    Do the same thing with the sub-head.

    I'd also kill all of the links above the fold... You want to get them into the copy at that point, links just serve as distractions.

    I recommended this awhile back, not sure if you've tested, but if you haven't I'd test losing your demo all together... It's another potential distraction and I've got a gut feeling that it kills curiosity in your case.

    Beyond that there's always changing up the copy entirely... And maybe branching your product out so that it appeals to other markets than the ones you're currently targeting.

    Good luck.

    -Scott

    P.S. A quick tip for your headline... "Mayo Clinic" is a good way of saying "proven" and "trustworthy" without actually saying it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Hi David,

    Every copywriter takes the AIDA formula as basic Copywriting 101.
    What you don't hear discussed much is how you apply the formula
    to different markets and target audiences.

    The question is HOW do you get attention for a weight-loss products
    versus a 'make more money' product?

    TIP: It's not the same.

    What of the prevailing attitude of your target audience to your product?
    You must know because this will determine HOW you apply the formula.

    Do they know about your TYPE of product?
    Are they opposed, don't care, favorable to your product?

    The answer to these question will all determine HOW you
    apply the formula.

    Case in point: Let's say I'm writing for the weight loss market.

    What is the general attitude? People are very skeptical because
    they have tried so many things that didn't work. So I may not get
    their attention by making them a big promise but tap into that
    deep skepticism right away.

    But if I discovered this new way to get SE traffic, I could get
    a lot of attention (still) by making a big promise upfront.

    My point is that the devil is in the details of applying the AIDA
    formula where you have to fine-tune it in order to fit your
    target market.

    -Ray Edwards
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    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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    • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
      It's a great strategy and it obviously works. But it requires great writing.
      David, as both Scott and Ray have expressed, sticking with the AIDA formula as your foundation is a must.

      Writing an ad doesn't require great writing, though, it requires effective writing.

      Let's take your post as an example. You effectively communicated your thoughts. That's effective writing.

      So for anyone who writes effectively, it then just becomes a matter of learning. Learning how to grab a prospect's attention. Learning how to get their interest. Etc.

      Look at successful sales letters with an analytical eye and notice how they do those four things. It's a great way to learn.

      Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me

    By doing this you are going against the grain and are trying to make up your own ideas which goes against time-tested effective ways of getting great results...which is ultimately why your writing your letter anyway.

    Human nature is to want to know what a solution is AFTER people know what the problem is.


    So a different strategy is to introduce your solution straight away. Put a nice product image, main benefits/features and even price (if it's lower than your visitors would expect) above the fold.
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  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    I thought it was too good to be true that this was original material unless of course you are the author

    If you are not the author then by all means you should rightfully give us the authors name and link otherwise you are plagarizing
    The Formula for Writing a Sales Letter



    Originally Posted by abdoue View Post

    hi it is an intresting topic that frustrate most warriors

    and I have some techniques that I get from my extensive search in the internet thus I wan to share it with all participant
    Do you feel confused, pressured or overwhelmed at the thought of writing a sales letter for your product? You're not alone. The sight of that treacherously long page with the neverending streams of words, words, words confounds many.
    The good news is, writing a sales letter needn't be approached with the same dread one might take at having to bang out a college term paper the night before it's due. All you really need to do is break it down into manageable parts.
    Part 1: Create the "Hooker" Headline and Intro. The "hooker" part of your sales letter includes a headline, subhead, and first paragraph or two. They call it the hooker because it's meant to hook interest and capture attention. This is frequently done with a series of 3, attention-grabbing questions, but it doesn't have to. One such question might be: "Are you sick of enduring fad diet after fad diet, only to gain all the weight back as soon as you fall off the wagon?"
    Part 2: Attract Interest. This is accomplished by going deeper into the reader's current challenge or problem. Pull people in with copy that assures them they're not alone in their predicament. You may consider using a statistic or two to illustrate just how common their "issue" really is. Psychologically, this creates a sense of inclusion, categorizing them as part of a unique group with a unique problem or set of problems. Anyone who realizes "Hey, I'm not alone" is more likely to pay attention to what you're about to tell them, than someone who feels isolated in their weakness and ready to crawl under a rock and hide from the world.
    Part 3: Present the Solution. Now that you've established there is a need to fill, problem to solve or challenge to overcome, it's time to introduce your product as the answer. Explain in this next section exactly what your product is all about, and its function in alleviating the reader's pain. Use clear language that's easy to understand (of course, you should be communicating clearly throughout your sales letter!). Let people know exactly what they're getting.
    Part 4: Cover the Features and Benefits. Follow your explanation of the product with one or two bulleted lists. In your lists, cover the benefits and features that go along with what you're selling. Benefits are intangible concepts such as freedom (from having to diet constantly), peace of mind (no more worrying about how your butt looks in those jeans!), satisfaction ("My love life has really improved since I discovered this new way of eating!") and so forth.
    Each benefit should be balanced with a practical feature of your product. Examples: "Free yourself from food denial and self-punishment. We'll show you step by step how to eat what you want when you want, and keep the weight off!" "Personal incentives to keep you motivated: a food journal that lets you track your progress, record weight loss milestones, and recognize poor eating habits so you can work on changing them."
    Part 5: Testimonials. Once you've thoroughly detailed the benefits and features, it's time to publish a list of testimonials from actual users of what you sell. You can run these down the page, or stash them in the sidebar if your sales letter is overflowing already. Please DO edit the less than perfect testimonials that customers send to you! Know that you are not required to include every single word - you can pull out the "best of the best" in customer quotes to really make a strong impact.
    Part 6: Bonus Gifts. Are you thinking right now that your product doesn't come with any "added bonuses"? Guess again. All those little extras that you thoughtfully included when you developed your product should be broadcasted and blasted out there for all to behold. Things like the complimentary online membership, the bonus book of handy tips, the calorie counter, the healthy recipes, the free newsletter subscription, access to community forums, and anything else you worked hard to create but now take for granted because "everybody offers this stuff with their products." Not everyone does, and even if they did, not every consumer knows about it. Bottom line, it's a good idea to remind people of what they're about to receive if you want to make the sale.
    Part 7: Time Sensitive Offer and Incentive to Buy. Your reader needs a reason to take action today. Right now, he might have your sales page open on his computer as he drools into his drool cup, gets distracted by some movement outside, or maybe an email just came in that's vying for his attention. Let him know (before he turns away) that this offer is impressive and it won't be around forever. Maybe this is a brand new, introductory price that you plan to increase once interest picks up. Whatever your incentive, be sure to convey everything clearly in your writing, so that there is no misunderstanding as to what the customer will be getting once they commit to the purchase.
    Part 8: The Moneyback Guarantee. You may be hesitant to offer a "satisfaction guaranteed or your money back" line. What if everyone who buys this thing decides your product didn't live up to his or her expectations? Don't sweat it. Nine times out of ten, this won't happen. And if for some reason, a very small percentage of customers aren't happy with the end deliverable, simply use the constructive feedback as a way to improve things down the road.
    So craft your guarantee copy to reassure that this is a safe, sane, and sound purchase that's well worth their attention. Reassure that their money is 100% refundable if for any reason they're unhappy. Use comforting language that helps your customer view you as a trustworthy and honest businessperson. Remember - YOU know that you can be trusted, but people who have never met you before will need some convincing before they click BUY NOW.
    Part 9: The Sign-Off. Finally, sign off with something enthusiastic and encouraging - a final note that will remind the reader that you're on their team, you're rooting for them, and you want to help them overcome whatever is blocking them from fulfillment. Many copywriters take this opportunity to include a "PS" that nudges their reader to grab the offer and run, but I don't think this is always necessary if you've got plenty of BUY NOW buttons featured prominently on the page.




    thanks hope that help you and useful
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    • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
      This guy's stealing content from other people left, right and centre.

      Give him a few hours and he'll be banned.

      -Dan

      Originally Posted by Justin Mandel View Post

      I thought it was too good to be true that this was original material unless of course you are the author

      If you are not the author then by all means you should rightfully give us the authors name and link otherwise you are plagarizing
      The Formula for Writing a Sales Letter
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      Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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