critique my sales page

by nemock
10 replies
I'm doing a combo video and text sales page. Looking to improve conversions...feedback appreciated.

Socially Branding Your Way To Success

Thanks!
Dave
#critique #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author MaskedMarketer
    Too much white space at the top- use a better headline..

    No bullet points to explain immediate benefits..

    Might be alittle longer to sell the product- You can follow the formula

    AIDA - Attention- Interest- Desire- Action
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    "One Man's Ceiling is Another Man's Floor
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    "I Pay Less Attention to What Men Say. I Just Watch What They Do."
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  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    Um. Wouldn't it be really "social" to have others tell your story ...in testimonials ...in the video.

    You don't really describe the kind of success, and that's a problem. Branding has gotten a reputation of all warm fuzzy feelings and no bank.

    You don't explain your expertise or why people should listen to you. All-in-all I'm not getting a clear picture of "brand you," if you know what I mean.

    It's completely possible to have brand recognition and zero sales. "Branders" are notorious for just that. And social media is notorious for just that.

    You have to be the one who distinguishes between brand recognition and bankable brand preference. Preferably through a unique selling proposition.

    If you can't get a few of the 15,364 close e-friends on Friendster, Linkdin, and Facebook to vouche for you ...then maybe there's no real "social capital" there. And the idea of branding people blithely toss around isn't as fully fleshed out as it needs to be to produce practical pay-the-bills kind of results.
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  • Profile picture of the author nemock
    "It's completely possible to have brand recognition and zero sales. "Branders" are notorious for just that. And social media is notorious for just that."

    Interesting thought and I think the main reason for this is that many people mistakenly believe and teach that branding is about creating an image. Those images are typically inauthentic facades which look like everyone else who is also trying to manage their image and thinking that's a brand.

    Branding is not your "image" but is rather the connection you have with any other person. So by definition, all people have brands. Authenticity stands out and yet some people will be attracted to you and others won't.

    Dave
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    • Profile picture of the author zapseo
      Originally Posted by nemock View Post

      "It's completely possible to have brand recognition and zero sales. "Branders" are notorious for just that. And social media is notorious for just that."

      Interesting thought and I think the main reason for this is that many people mistakenly believe and teach that branding is about creating an image. Those images are typically inauthentic facades which look like everyone else who is also trying to manage their image and thinking that's a brand.
      You may want to consider that this mis-understanding in the market is a common one. Consequently, that should be taken into consideration in your positioning (er, branding ?).

      When I read the title for your page in your post, I had no idea what your product was about, and nothing that made me curious to find out.

      That means you are dead out of the gate.

      Not just because that's my impression -- but because I can point to the reasons why that is that case -- because they are common reasons.

      For instance -- let's just start with "What's In It For Me?" Success? What the heck does that mean?

      Actually, it starts with "Socially Branding". Using terms that do not have an immediate (and preferably visceral) response and understanding will have the majority of visitors going -- "Next!"

      So, you are trying to sell something without an adequate definition in most people's mind with the promise of something vague (success).

      I haven't even gone to your sales page.

      Needed? Well, there was some fellow back in the 19th century that used to take poor selling books and, by simply re-titling them (at least, so the story goes) -- made them into best sellers.

      Live JoyFully!

      Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
      NextDay Copy


      Branding is not your "image" but is rather the connection you have with any other person. So by definition, all people have brands. Authenticity stands out and yet some people will be attracted to you and others won't.

      Dave
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  • Profile picture of the author nemock
    Thanks for looking, by the way. I enjoy creating the content but really do not enjoy the sales page...and I guess it shows.
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  • Profile picture of the author TajwarAlexander
    I would most definetely get rid of the add to cart button at the bottom. They are buying one product from you. It should say BUY NOW... or ORDER NOW..
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    • Profile picture of the author MaskedMarketer
      Originally Posted by TajwarAlexander View Post

      I would most definetely get rid of the add to cart button at the bottom. They are buying one product from you. It should say BUY NOW... or ORDER NOW..
      I think the word INVEST might be better to use than BUY or ORDER. Buy or Order - to me- sounds like im losing money. Invest means I might see a gain.

      OP- might want to test it out.
      Signature

      "One Man's Ceiling is Another Man's Floor
      "


      "I Pay Less Attention to What Men Say. I Just Watch What They Do."
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  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    Branding is a term designed for mischief. When the word gets used, generally it's to shuck all responsibility for specific results and yet take all the credit when something works.

    And based on the quote above, everything is branding and nothing is. Branding is job security for people who don't want to sell, or else can't.

    Long story short, if this works then we're not having this discussion and the poster is counting his money.

    Those who can't do, teach. Those who couldn't generate a sale to save their lives teach branding. Branders have rather high opinions of how good their brand is, but no metric or proof to back it up ...certainly not sales. This is fine when you're a brand manager who can take credit for the work the sales force did -- usually with an upturned nose at going out and making a sale.

    But it's rather tougher when you've got nothing effective to take credit for.

    Mix in the cluetrain mythology with a liberal dose of Metcalfe's law and you're in for a world of hurt.
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    • Profile picture of the author zapseo
      Heh

      John_S

      I generally enjoy reading what you write -- and agree with it. But I disagree with you on this last post.

      It's a popular stance in the direct response world to take aim at branding.

      To say it has little or no effect is to ignore quite a bit of evidence to the contrary.

      Branding is part of a mix -- it has its place.

      Is it the ONLY thing required? Of course not.

      Is it the panacea for all marketing ills? Definitely not.

      Is it something that should be ignored? Equally, no.

      It's the sort of thing that makes it possible for people to sign up for a $10,000 coaching program that had little in the way of a sales page.

      It's the sort of thing that has people buy, sight unseen, hardly reading a salesletter -- of certain people's products on the WSO forum.

      Appropriate "branding" creates an expectation in the prospect's mind. If components of branding, such as repetition and identification are not used, then the positive experience of the buyer with the company in one instance does not support the user in buying from the same company again. Such positive experiences get lost in the shuffle -- the person remembers that they had a positive buying experience -- but they don't remember with whom.

      Live JoyFully!

      Judy Kettenhofen, Profit Strategist/Copywriter
      NextDay Copy
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      • Profile picture of the author AnarchyAds
        Banned
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        • Profile picture of the author John_S
          BRANDING COMMUNICATES AN IMMEDIATE IDEA TO PEOPLE
          THAT TELLS OF QUALITY, ETC. STRONG BRANDING MAKES
          PEOPLE FEEL SOMETHING. MCD's MAKES MOST FEEL HUNGRY.
          ...for MCDONALDS
          Firstly, I did not say "...it has little or no effect..."

          Let's go back to the text, which is "Branding is a term designed for mischief. When the word gets used, generally it's to shuck all responsibility for specific results and yet take all the credit when something works."

          Exactly the mistake made in the quote above. That's a reaction to everything from menu development to cleanliness and quality standards which make up a user experience people then associate with the word McDonalds. It speaks little to how those associations are formed -- which work and which don't.

          I read a quote like that and get the impression you are saying "brands ....just happen."

          Certain terms are harder to get right, especially for newbies. Branding is one such term. That is quite different from saying brands don't exist. Saying it is possible to get zero results is not to say all brands are ineffectual.

          What I will say is, given the huge misconceptions and mistakes of those blithely tossing around the word, that's the way to bet for any beginning effort.

          Those calling themselves branders, in general, are a slippery bunch. (And I have direct face-to-face with the type at $100 million dollar plus companies.) It's exasperatingly hard to pin them down on what a brand is, the current state of the brand, brand metrics ...or just about anything that doesn't involve them getting a pat on the back and pay raise.

          I'm not talking about the brand here, by the way, but what people actually do to build or design a brand. From here on out I will call this business identity design.

          nemock asserts, "So by definition, all people have brands." This is fine. It may even be true. But that in no way, shape or form means 1) You have a business identity people easily remember or clearly associate with anything 2) You have a business identity which persuades people to buy

          Most of the branding claptrap is looking at the end result. Few take the idea positioning does, that you can do anything to design a brand. (I mean other than logo design).

          People confuse logos with brands. For a good rundown on this phenomenon read Logo Misapplication.

          A logo is not a business identity. Forget end results with known names. Let's say you want to develop a business identity most likely to attract positive brand associations -- build a new brand. What do you do?

          You look at what the competition is doing and do something different. But the differences from the competition have to revolve around some core value or philosophy. All business decisions should support this philosophy. The sum total of things like ...how you answer the phones ...how invoices are designed ...and a range of business policy and a thousand concrete details which are under your control.

          And that difference must be valued by potential and current customers.

          Branders love to say a brand happens in the minds of the people in the marketplace. Which is true, so far as it goes. But this, once again, is misdirection designed for people to shirk responsibility for business identity design, which is twofold....

          1) Identify those things you can control about a business which 2) Are key influencers of the word associations people attribute to the symbols which identify your business

          And that, sadly, is what most people who toss around the word branding miss. I don't know, of course, but I would bet both the smartypants student and the teacher from the example in the last post would fail.

          They may indeed be able to identify successful established brand. Rarely do these people take the time to identify what makes a brand successful; nor do they pinpoint branding mistakes (called brand dissonance). Nor do they differentiate between brand awareness and brand preference. And that tendency is what earns my scorn.

          In other words a brand is the end result perception. Business identity design is doing those things within the business which persuade people to associate specific words to symbols, such as a logo.

          Finally, it might be true that every business and person has a brand. However, the vast majority of businesses are like that guy at your class reunion you can't remember the name of, nor even figure out if you liked or not. For all practical purposes most brands are ineffectual nonentities.

          Pointing to McDonalds or Apple doesn't help those trying to figure out exactly how brands establish themselves or what goes on in the mind to associate this or that specific word with the nice looking logo.

          Brands happen 99% outside a graphic application. And, for all intents and purposes, nobody is talking about what is going on or how brands happen.

          Here's how mistakes happen. Dominos Pizza distinguished themselves from their competitors by promising " Fresh, hot pizza in 30 minutes or the pizza is free!" Then they jettisoned the guarantee. It would be foolhardy to take the current state of Dominos, then assume they got that way without the "30 minutes" guarantee.

          Maintaining a brand is not the same as creating one. Recognizing a brand exists doesn't explain branding.

          It is foolhardy to confuse Dominos' efforts to get its current millions of customers to remember their past experience with the company with the very different job of having their first experience. It's exponentially easier for companies with millions of customers to maintain than startups who have yet to develop a customer base.

          Yet it happens in classrooms across the country where people take the end result business as it exists today, and make the dangerous assumption the company is still doing exactly the same things which made it a success. Big companies have a certain "momentum." And many rewrite history about how they built the business ...most students study the current PR rather than trying to discover what actually happened.

          Many employees within a company believe their own PR.

          I don't care about the golden arches. I want mister smarty pants student (or the teacher) to list five sources of brand dissonance McDonalds has right now, and what they should be doing instead. If either of them is as smart as they claim, I want to challenge them to analyze the market, then design a startup which the exact characteristics most likely to result in a successful brand in competition with established brands. Or identify any current lessor known player who has what it takes to take marketshare away from current well known brands like McDonalds -- solely based on whatever they refer to when they say branding.

          [cue the sound of crickets] ....hello? ....um, HELLO out there?

          Now I'm going to do what no participant in this thread has done so far: Discuss branding rather than point to established brands.


          Related:

          The Cymbolism site "...attempts to quantify the association between colors and words, making it simple for designers to choose the best colors for the desired emotional effect." Unique in that the site seeks to get current word associations about colors rather than assume a color maintains the same association forever.

          How many business owners pick the color(s) they like, and then go on to attribute all sorts of positive attributes to it which don't necessarily reflect the market's perception. Real color psychology is category specific -- yellow for a flashlight case has different word associations than yellow for a car; which in turn has different associations from yellow used in an interior design.

          A Tale Of Two Companies: iPhone Launch, AT&T Vs. Apple Store Now this, more than anything happening with logo design, is how associations are formed in the mind of customers. Rarely is there an opportunity to see two different user experiences with an otherwise identical product.

          Branders talk about the AT&T logo or Apple logo, notice they never talk about how AT&T designs their billing statements.

          A Desirability Design Process Diagram dissects desirable services and products, with an eye toward what you need to do to design one. Successful brands are the convergence of a coherent aesthetic, benefits and symbolism. Branders continually confuse the symbol with the symbolism.
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